Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

OK, I’ve been in a relationship with a man for almost 4 years.

We met when I was 21 and he was 22-years old. We have been together ever since. We moved together at age 23 because he was deploying and we wanted to spend the last few months together. I agreed to move 7 hours away from my home to be with him since he got stationed somewhere else. We stayed together for about the last 5 months that he was in the states. Once he deployed, I moved back home to continue school.

All throughout his deployment he called me almost every day he sent me money whenever I needed it. He basically took care of me during his whole deployment because I didn’t have a job since I quit my job to move with him for those few months. Before I moved with him I found his deployment papers and I saw that he had a dependent on it and it stated WIFE. Me being the idiot that I was I confronted him about it and he told me he was divorced and that they didn’t correct his info yet. I believed him.

So, months after that, and he had been deployed for 7 months, he came back and spent some R&R with me. We flew to his home and I met his family and everything. He had already met mine. He went back to finish his deployment for the next 6 months and throughout that time his mail was coming to my house. And, yeah, I opened some. He filled out his taxes and I saw that he was married and filled separately. Another RED flag. I didn’t ask him about it because with him being in the line of fire every day, I know that’s something soldiers don’t need to go through while there are going through killings and deaths every day.

I waited until he came back from deployment. It slipped my mind once he came back because I was blinded with all of the gifts and good treatment he gave me. I felt like a queen. He came back and drove 3 hours to see me every week because I moved to the ATL to be closer to him and finish school. Every week he was there to see me or I was at his apartment. About 6 months after he was back, we decided that I should move back in with him and transfer schools. I agreed and moved in, but I didn’t transfer schools yet.

About after 2 months I remembered the married situation. I found more papers saying he was still married and they were all dated as recent. Turns out that his entire family knew he was still married, but kept that secret away from me. I confronted him and he finally told me when I was about to leave that he was married and that he lied about it because he didn’t want to lose me. He told me he hasn’t seen his wife in almost 5 years. He then went to show me his divorce papers he had filled a few days before I confronted him about it.

I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it because I was so embarrassed about the situation. I didn’t want anyone to know about it. Now, I’m still here living with him and it’s been about 6 months since he showed me the papers. It seems as if he’s not putting any effort in trying to get divorced and it’s making me feel like I don’t need to be in this position. Every day I’m out with him I know that I’m holding the hand of a married man. He’s not my man, he’s someone else’s.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be as committed to him as I am because it’s just not right. I know there has been some unfaithful things done to me during these years and I have done some unfaithful things to him to get back at him, Which has happened when we were about 23 and 24 years old. We are 25 and 26 now. I can tell now that he’s changed and I have changed as well. I know right now that he loves me more than I love him. I don’t feel the way I used to feel about him because I think he’s lying to me about everything since he’s lied to me for all of these years. Am I trippin????

The more time goes on, I think I’m falling out of love and it seems he’s more in love with me as time goes on. If I didn’t think he was lying to me all the time I wouldn’t feel this way about him. This divorce thing hasn’t moved since it started. I just feel wrong for staying with him. Please tell me what to do. This is a man that tells me he loves me every 5 minutes. He does crazy things for me that let’s me know he loves me, but once all of that is done I think about the fact that he’s still married. I don’t think it’s right for me to love a married man. I keep thinking about the fact that he’s lied to me for all of these years about not being married. It makes me not trust him at all. I’m too much of a good person and a good girlfriend to feel this way. I just think it’s wrong of me to stay with someone else’s husband.

I’m still embarrassed about it so none of my friends or family knows about this. All everyone sees is a very cute and happy couple. I don’t go out much because he doesn’t want me around other guys. So, sometimes I’ll sneak out with my girls, but I start to think, “Why am I sneaking? We aren’t married.” He doesn’t go out because he knows I don’t trust him like that. I used to go out with my girls and he went out with his boys and we would meet up afterwards and go home. He showed me once that he could “F” up a good thing by getting numbers because his boys were doing it, so since then, I didn’t trust him. That was when he was 24 and I was 23 years old.

I was a good girlfriend so that changed me a little. I didn’t trust him since then to let him go out so he trips when I want to go out. Now that we are older, he says he doesn’t want to go out. He feels that clubs are for single people and he doesn’t have the urge to do it. I still want to go out and have fun with my girls SOMETIMES not all the time like I used to. I’m starting to feel like I don’t owe him –ish, so I can do what I want because he’s married and I’m not. Am I wrong?

He’s about to deploy again in September of this year, so I got my apartment back and I’m back and forth between his apartment and mine in ATL because I’m finishing school. I have school two days a week and stay at my place during those days and I’m at his place on my days off or he’s at my place on his days off. So, we pretty much see each other 5 days out of the week. I’m afraid of where I will stand in this relationship once he leaves again. I’m falling out of love and my mind has become more reckless because of my thoughts on me being so faithful and the fact that he’s still married and I think he’s a liar.

I’m having trouble with myself because he was my first. I lost my virginity to him and with me feeling like I shouldn’t be so faithful to him. My mind wonders from time to time about other men. I can be faithful, but sometime I wonder why should I be. With the men that approach me daily and I continuously say no, I’m having second thoughts. I’m starting to feel like I need to get out and have that fun that I never had. (Not only sex). My friends make it seem like they are having so much fun doing the things that I can’t since I’m in a committed relationship. Me feeling the way I am is causing me to go crazy. I just need some advice. Should I or should I not stay? I’ve given him lots of time to get this marriage thing situated and I’m working on trusting him again. – Over It And Him

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/605905/dear-bossip-weve-been-dating-4-years-lived-together-but-ive-learned-hes-been-married-all-this-time/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip....

Dear Bossip,

First and for most, let me start of by acknowledging the books you have wrote. I enjoyed them.

In addition to your books; I take pleasure in reading your response to articles on Bossip. The straight forwardness you have when convey your message. So, let me get to my question. I would like to know if I have come across an undercover brotha. I have known him for two years, and now we are both in the military. He has been deployed and so fourth. So, now that we’re stationed in the same area we have been seeing each other more. I refuse to commit to him because he is a ladies’ man and his past sends me red flags. So, why not have little fun here in there and on my terms.

However, he has always voiced to me that he wants to be more than just a friend, and he stopped talking to me for little while because I won’t commit. My point to him, show me you have moved on from your past then we can talk. He has yet to fully show me, but he did introduce to his baby mama brother. So, I don’t know if that was an effort, but it was not good enough for me.

Now, I have an even BIGGER issue. The other day when I was over his place, and I was bored and started snooping on his lap top. Well, I came across some “He/She” Pr0n, and Gay pr0n. Also, he had some Transgenders on there too. So, that got me to thinking. He does have all female friends with the exception of his brother, cousin and a couple of home boys. Initially, I contributed that to him being a ladies’ man. Then I got to thinking, what straight man would have gay porn and Transgenders on his PC? Also, he always wears colored rubber bands when he is regular clothes. All this is running through my mind.

So, the next day we meet have lunch and I asked him to walk and talk with me afterwards. I brought it to his attention what I found and asked if he considered himself bisexual or gay. His response baffled me. He said, “I’m gay,” and quickly retracted his statement. He said, “No, I’m not gay, honestly.” I then proceeded to ask him that if he wasn’t then why he is so calm and his reaction seemed more like he was ashamed and then mad. Like, wouldn’t a straight man be offended that I questioned his sexuality??? So, Terrance, am I reading too deep into what I found and the way he responded. I have not spoken to him since because I feel disgusted and that he didn’t take my feelings into consideration if that may be the case. Also, besides my finding are there signs if you are dealing with a undercover brotha? – For Future Reference

You can read my response, HERE: http://bossip.com/605350/dear-bossip-i-asked-my-man-if-he-was-gay-because-of-some-things-i-found-he-said-yes-but-retracted/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

Mr. Terrance Dean! First, let me start by saying you are the bomb! Your advice is too real!

It’s my turn to feel you!! Here goes nothing!

I’ve been with my boyfriend on an off for 13 years. We have no children together, but he has 3 children from 3 different women. He wants me to trust him and be in a committed relationship, but I can’t find it in my heart to believe him. My boyfriend had his first child when I was 4 months pregnant when he told me. I stressed myself out and miscarried. I moved to Atlanta for 2 years to clear my head from him.

Within one year of living in Atlanta we still kept in contact and I found about his 2^nd child from a different girl. I moved back to our home town, and we worked things out. We recently moved in together and I found out about his 3^rd child that he didn’t tell me about, when I asked him about it he says the child is two years old and the reason he didn’t tell me is because he didn’t know when the time would be right to tell me. So, he has 3 daughters ages 5, 4, and 2 years old. All of the baby mother’s are seeking child support payments from him. He claims he is not with this ghetto stuff and he could care less about being on child support, he wants nothing to do with any of the mothers.

He tells me all the time I need to trust him and that he has changed. He says that he is not doing anything with any other women, and that he is done hurting me. He tells me all the time my insecurities are hurting our relationship. But, I still cannot trust him. When his phone rings I think it’s another woman. When he leaves the house I think he’s going to make another baby. I don’t know how to get over this hurtle. Help me please! – Lost and confused

You can read my response, HERE:
http://bossip.com/604005/dear-bossip-hes-had-3-children-with-3-different-women-during-our-13-years-of-dating/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

Ok, I know you get tons of e-mails from people like me all the time, but I’m in serious despair.

Plus, I will continue to e-mail you till you respond. LOL!

Ok, so I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month now. He is awesome. We have a lot in common. He’s goal-orientated. He is already pretty set in his career. He’s actually the only producer I know actually producing and getting paid for it in advance, and he plays in a band and actually gets paid for it. We have great conversations and he is very consistent. He does exactly what he says he is going to do. We go out and we hang.  And, on Sundays he takes my children and I out. He wants to be a part of our lives and is interested in being in a relationship with me and building a future with us. We get along great. We goof off and I can talk to him about anything with no judgments imposed.

But, the bad thing is that he isn’t what I’m looking for when it comes to looks. He is overweight, but that doesn’t bother me. He is sloppy with his dressing and that does bother me. But, he treats me and my children like freaking royalty. He is always making sure I’m ok before he makes any plans that might interrupt my plans. For example, I’m car-less right now and he lets me use his car for errands and such.
In some ways I feel like I’m being shallow because he really is a good man. I just don’t want to get caught up in what he can do for me and what he does do for me, or his income. I really want to get to know him as a person. Sometimes I just feel like I’m settling because I’m just not 100% attracted to him. I gave him a chance because I was keeping an open mind and honestly didn’t expect for it to go this far.  He is very needy. He wants attention a lot, and he kisses a lot.

I’ve always wanted a guy like this, but maybe it’s him. Ugh! I feel like I’m settling, but he isn’t. I don’t mean to toot my horn, but toot toot. I’m an attractive female with a very good shape. I workout everyday and I have a lot going on for myself. I feel like I have a good leveled head on my shoulders, so I think he’s winning right now. He’s even mentioned that he feels weird because he is talking to a girl like me and he feels bad. He has even been going to the gym everyday for a week now and keeping up with his grooming. Basically, what I wanna know is if I’m just being a shallow person, or if I should consider weighing out my options.

I have never met a guy like him and to be honest I’m 25-years old with 2 little girls and most guys just wanna be with me because of my looks and just wanna have sex (good looking guys). And, the ugly guys are just happy to be with a good-looking girl like me (their words). I’m just confused. I think he is awesome, but I’m honestly hoping I can find a guy just like him, but more attractive. Please help! I need an unbiased opinion. I have dated losers in the past and I want my girls to have a father figure, but I don’t want to settle help! – Little Ms. Shallow

You can read my response, HERE:
http://bossip.com/601431/dear-bossip-hes-everything-i-want-in-a-guy-but-im-turned-off-because-hes-unattractive-overweight/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I’m somewhat confused and would like your straight-to-the point and hilarious help!

I have been in a relationship with my man for 6 months now. Before then we courted for 8 month, saving “relations” until after we were in a committed relationship. Now, fast-forward 6 months and we’re happy as can be…somewhat. See, I’m the one that’s slightly dissatisfied. Every time I ask him for some type of physical help his answer is basically, “I guess if no one else can do it!”

For example, I moved a few weeks ago and I asked him to come help me pack. He says, “Aren’t you having a packing party? Aren’t your cousins coming to help you?” Then, my back was hurting the other day (I was in a car accident 11 months ago and still have back pain) I asked while we were lying in bed if he could massage my back, he reached over and patted my back like a baby for 30 seconds and was like, “Baby, I’m falling asleep,” (Meanwhile, he had a crook in his neck last week and I spent hours with hot towels massaging his neck and blah blah blah).

I do TV work part-time and asked thru a text if he could be my cameraman from time to time, his reply, yeah maybe I’ll see. Now, am I tripping or am I not sensing good old reciprocity? We have a good relationship other than his selfishness. So, I’m asking am I being overly sensitive because someone I love…sue me I said love :) is not being as nice to me as I like? Or, do these sound like real issues of not caring. I’m concerned because I’m internalizing this behavior as someone who isn’t down for me, and if you’re not down for me then I can’t be down for you.  P.S. I’m the person that feels your partner should make life easier and that relationships are about supporting each other and having each other’s backs when friends don’t, otherwise we can be friends with some benefits! – Where Is My Prince

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://hellobeautiful.com/2524786/i-go-hard-for-my-man-but-when-i-ask-him-for-something-hes-so-blase-about-it/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip....

Dear Bossip,

Well, my situation is very complicated and that may be an understatement.

Me and my soon to be ex-husband got married going on 6 years ago. The first three years I couldn’t ask for a more perfect husband. Everything was bliss. We both had great jobs, we bought a gorgeous house, nice cars, and all that other jazz you get when you are doing good. Well, a little before our 4th year anniversary it seemed like his whole demeanor changed. He would be real short with me whenever I tried to talk to him. He stopped wanting to cuddle and kiss me. But, the last straw for me was when I would get all up on him and let him know I wanted some and he turned me down (and as much as we got it on earlier in our marriage him turning me down shocked me).

This continued for almost a month before I went all “P.I.” on him and did some sleuthing. Well, long story short I found out he was sleeping and supporting this chick he worked with. When I say he was supporting her I mean he bought her a car, was paying her rent and giving her spending money. Mind you he had been bugging me for 2 years for us to get a joint account. After thanking my lucky stars that I didn’t give in to that request and getting a STD test, I took everything I had and told him about it. I basically said I take our vows seriously and I loved him but I would walk away if I’m not what he wants anymore I would rather break it off quickly than sitting and tormenting myself by taking him back over and over.

This was his one chance to choose who he wanted and he chose me, or so I thought. He lost his job a few months later and didn’t immediately look for a new one. I made enough for both of us to be comfortable so I wasn’t worried. Well, I got promoted and my best friend took me to lunch and she showed me a picture that she took of my husband and the same chick at an outdoor market in my city. This time I followed him for a day and found out that his jump-off was actually very very sick and was under the care of a nurse. It hurt me to see him hold her. It took me a week to finally sit him down and tell him what I knew. He admitted he loved both of us, but he couldn’t leave her alone especially since she doesn’t have long in this world anymore. Then, he actually had the nerve to say once she passed he would be all mine and we could work things out.

Needless to say, any love I did have for him dissipated. I filed for divorce and once word got out everybody had to give me their two cents. They think I should save my marriage since the other chick won’t be an issue soon, but the damage has been done in my opinion. I’m not gonna be my own husband’s consolation prize, nor am I gonna comfort him when he’s crying over this woman. He should have never been with in the first place. Cold as it may seem I don’t want anything else to do with him. He made his choice when he decided to keep seeing her. I gave my all to him and it wasn’t enough. I’m a good woman and I know I’m far from perfect, but I know I deserve better. I just need someone to tell me I’m not wrong for feeling like I feel because honestly I feel like I’m surrounded by passive dummies. I welcome your input and sorry for the length of this letter but I said it was complicated. LOL! – Sprinting Towards Divorce

You can read my response, HERE: 

http://bossip.com/600800/dear-bossip-my-husband-told-me-that-when-his-sickly-jump-off-passes-then-hell-be-all-mine/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I want to start off by saying that I really need your insight on a situation that I am struggling to comprehend.

I am a single mother of a 14-year old boy, and I consider myself to be doing very well. Even through all the trails and tribulation that I went through by having a child at the age of 15. I’m also a nursing student that supports myself, working 40 hours a week in the corporate field.

I met a guy on Facebook in December 2011 that lives in New York who just moved from North Carolina. Everything was going great. Our conversations were very deep and interesting. We talked about our past struggles and our goals that we would like to accomplish in the near future. He came down to visit for 1 ½ weeks and everything was good. The problem is he has 3 kids – two by a childhood sweetheart, and a third child by a girl he cheated on with his childhood sweetheart. Well, his last baby’s mother, from what I was told, is absolutely crazy in love with her him. When I say crazy she’s had a girl that worked at the cell phone company that he is with, this chick gets a print out of his call logs and call every number on the list. Not only that she has stabbed him in the arm, burned up his clothes and shoes, tried to run him over with a car twice, and so on and so on.

She has made it very clear that he does not want me messing him, and that she would make my life a living hell. All of this was said via text, which she got my number from the call log. She also made it clear that she was up there and I was down south, and that he would always continue to mess with her. Me being the bigger person I didn’t let that get to me, due to even though he had a past with cheating, I couldn’t judge him because we all have a past and we are much older now.

So, he came down and went back to New York. On his way back we discussed him coming back down and maybe to stay, due to him just living in the state, so that we can be closer.  We also discussed us being together just the two of us. Well, not even one week goes by when he gets back that Friday and I can’t reach him until Monday. Then he calls my office phone like everything is ok. Really? I sometimes try calling him at night and I don’t get an answer as well. This continues to go on. I questioned him several times and he lied every time. I always tell him we are grown and that you don’t have to lie to me. I let him know what is done in darkness will come out.

I knew he was lying because his story just don’t sound right not even that sometimes he forget that he already use that lie in the past. Just last week he called me and we were talking and he had a beep on the phone and he tells me that he will call me back. Somehow he links me into the conversation. Listening on mute I found that he has been sleeping with his crazy baby’s mother, which now I understand why she is crazy. I figured because she is bipolar, has several different personalities, but he is still sleeping with her.  After listening to the WHOLE conversation I then got my thoughts together and called him back to confront him on what I just heard. He tells me I didn’t hear what I heard and that I was assuming things, which upsets me, because now I feel like he is playing with my intelligence.

He tells me that he is going through several things and that he made a mistake being intimate with her. I don’t understand how you make the same mistake more than 3 times, from what he told me. I asked him was he still in love with her and he couldn’t even tell me yes or no, which I am far from stupid, and I know that means yes he is. If he wasn’t then that would be a simple no. My question to you is where do I go from here? – Love On The Line

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/599446/dear-bossip-we-were-discussing-being-together-but-hes-still-sleeping-with-one-of-his-baby-mommas/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

Hello Terrance! I always enjoy your articles and your honesty. I’m having problems with my marriage.

I don’t trust him and I am fed up! My husband and I have been together for three years, but married for one. We have one son, and now I am pregnant with our second child. When we first met everything was perfect. He is in the military, and in our first year he had to be away for five months. When he came back we moved in together. After moving in I became pregnant with our son, and the first month of my pregnancy I found Facebook messages of him flirting with other women. I was ready to leave him, but he begged me to stay and deleted his account. So, I did.

Then 6 months into my pregnancy I found in his phone that he had a website account with Mocospace and was flirting again with other women. Once again he begged me to stay, and stupid me I did. I found other things such as pr0n and him messaging females. He had a really bad car accident and almost lost his life, so he promised me he was a changed man. We began going to church and everything was going great. I was beginning to trust him again.

So, recently I haven’t been getting a good feeling whenever he leaves for his military trips. He is always texting and he rarely calls, so my gut feeling was telling me something was not right. I was always told to go with that gut feeling. I downloaded a texting app and decided to pretend to be a pretty female he knows. I found this random girl that went to his high school, and I began texting him. He knew the girl and I found out he knows her sister as well. He said him and her sister was planning to chill and that they chilled the last time he was in town, which was before our son’s birthday. He also said he used to mess around with her sister in 2007, even if we weren’t together in 2007 why would you as a married man hang out with a woman you messed around with or even be friends with her?

But, to make this short, I got him to flirt and send a picture of himself and he wanted to see a picture of her body. So, when I confronted him and told him I set him up he said him and his friend was making fun of the girl, but I don’t believe it. This is the second pregnancy he has done this to me. I know I don’t deserve this because I am a good faithful woman. Right now we are separated, but he wants to talk to our pastor to see if we can work it out. I agreed to talk to our pastor, but depending on how I feel afterward is if we stay married or not.

Do you think I shouldn’t give him a chance? Or, should I talk to our pastor to see if we can work it out? I am confused because I feel like he will never change, but I love him. I really need help with this. – Ms. Fed Up But Confused

You can read my response, HERE: http://bossip.com/598601/dear-bossip-i-suspected-my-husband-of-cheating-so-i-set-up-him-i-was-right/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I caught my husband videotaping my sister while she was taking a shower.

I caught him, and he apologized. He said that he didn’t know what came over him. He asked for a second chance. I also found some nude pictures and videos on his phone. I asked him to delete them, which he did, however, I never forgave him for my sister. Should I? Should I trust him? And, on top of it, I never asked what he wanted to do with the video? Is it late to ask him now? Please help. – My Husband’s Secret

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/598021/dear-bossip-i-caught-my-husband-videotaping-my-sister-while-she-was-showering/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

None of my friends are giving me good advice. There must be something I can do instead of sit here and let opportunity waste away.

I met a guy in the university a few months back, and we had a healthy amount of things in common, and a good amount of differences among us to keep the plot interesting. When we decided to date, we agreed it would be casual (meaning priorities come first, see each other when it worked, don’t get mad when we can’t make it out, but are exclusive). It was working amazingly well until a few days ago when he brought up how he doesn’t see this as being a long term thing, and consequently he asked if we should continue to date during the rest of the summer. He said he wanted both of us to think about it and then we can talk again this weekend.

When I asked why he thought it wouldn’t work out long term, he replied with “There’s a few small things, but I haven’t really had the moment that I know you’re it.” Other than that, he hasn’t revealed what he feels. I haven’t talked to him since, but I’m already quite heartbroken because I didn’t realize until he made that statement that I believed he’s the one for me. There are so many things I’ve found in him that I’ve never found in anyone else. He loves God, hates religion, loves to party and dance, isn’t needy, free spirited–guy. I don’t think I could have ever found even two of those things in any other guy and, without forcing him to change his mind.

I’m determined to do something about this situation. I realized that if we talk and he feels totally uninterested I can’t do anything. However, if he doesn’t know what he wants shouldn’t I convince him to keep dating as we are for the summer? And, maybe he might eventually grow attached to me? (Of course, I know this would be a risk for me). I won’t force him to try and feel things that he doesn’t, but if I feel this strongly for him is there not something I can do? – Potentially Over

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/2523781/we-agreed-to-date-casually-but-he-recently-told-me-that-he-doesnt-see-it-being-long-term/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip....

Dear Bossip,

I have just found out my fiancé had a baby with his ex-wife while I was pregnant.

He came home drunk one night, and I found the pictures of him with the kid in his phone. Should I mention that he had been through a similar experience where his other ex-wife lied to him about a child being his?? So if he understands the pain, then why would he do this to me??

Anyway, since I found out, he has been working to get me back, and apologizing for doing it and not telling me about the situation sooner. But, I don’t care to hear it. He’s lost ALL my respect and trust. He says he doesn’t know why he did it, and this makes my respect level dip deep into the negative. He had been separated from her for years and never touched her. Even dated other women for years. But, when he filed the papers for divorce, she and his family flipped out and told him he was doing the wrong thing.

You see, she and his family are very close, and his parents are very involved with their love life. According to him, the mother and father would call and keep in touch with her, plus she would extend herself to his family in any way she could, all the while he was struggling to get his parents to pick up the phone. Anyway, according to him he went over to her house to straighten it out, and that’s when “it” happened.  I feel so hurt and distraught that I am stuck with this MoFo for at least the next 18 years. However, this is not the first time he has not been forthcoming.

We’ve been dating for over 2 years, and we fell in love and wanted to spend our lives together. However, I became suspicious because I didn’t meet his parents (which he told me they’ve had issues, which I could understand) even though we talked about marriage. Soon it was revealed (through my own investigation) that he was still legally married but apart from his now ex-wife for years (a.k.a. a Black divorce). I mean again, he was dating other women before we met. We became pregnant, he filed for divorce, all hell (on his side) broke loose, and he ended up impregnating his Precious look-a-like ex-wife. I was very angry. He didn’t talk to me about what was going on, but instead ran to her to “talk it out.” He said he just frustrated at the harassment and wanted his family to accept us, but I let him know that was not a good way to do it. During all this he could have harmed me and our unborn child. That’s just dirty!! And what upsets me also is that while he was going through all this, I was pregnant and clueless.

This has been an absolute mess. I’ve introduced him to my family, friends, and co-workers. Now, I have to deal with the embarrassment of the situation, plus the generational repercussions. How do I break away while allowing him to have a relationship with his child? I don’t wanna stay with a deceiver plus be stuck with the ex-wife and child (who both have health issues) for the rest of MY life. In your opinion, what do I do?

What bothers me also about this is that he’s got no reason as to why he did it. He just doesn’t know. So, I just say he’s a snake. He has been begging begging, pleading and praying that we work it out and saying we can still get married and follow through on our life plans, but it’s falling on deaf ears. We were getting back to decent and respectable, and he went and took us further down. I’m seeking counseling for the anger and hurt and my own reasons why I got into this. But, in your opinion, how can I distance myself away from him while allowing him and our child to keep a relationship? – Coming Out Of The Dark

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/597564/dear-bossip-my-fiance-had-a-baby-with-his-ex-wife-while-i-was-pregnant/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

Eight months ago I began dating the boy, because he is far from a man, that I absolutely loved in high school. His friends were my friends and they decided to hook us up. We never went on an official date, never had the honeymoon phase of the “relationship,” and I never understood that those were stages that most people had when beginning a relationship because I’d never had a “real” one without cheating.

Time rolls by, he would call every Saturday, and I liked that. We both worked throughout the week, so I didn’t mind him not calling or text throughout. When we hit the “relationship” stage I had to ask if we were a couple. When Friday night came around I would have to ask did he want to do anything with me.
Now, let me describe him for you. He was thirty years old. He lived at home with his mama. I could understand that because I live at home too because of student loans. But, he lived at home because his ex put him out. I didn’t know the story at the time and continued to TRY to see the good in him when I found out.

He did not have a car!!! I thought it was because of his wreck he had, which turned out to be a DUI and he had a suspended license. I still stayed.

He was a horrible boyfriend! We never went out period, unless drinking was involved. I would text him, no reply. Then I would stop texting he would say, “What’s wrong with you, haven’t heard from you in a while.” I got to the point where I started cheating, I didn’t sleep with any of them, and doing things alone or with other people, then he would call and text a billion times “What you doing?” I would tell him the truth, because I would ask him first to do the things with me.

I stopped cheating on him and about the fourth month we began to have sex. Can you say, WTH!!!! I thought it was my fault that the sex was bad, but um…no! I still stayed because when we did see each other, (sometimes once a week even a month and we stayed five minutes away from each other) we would be great. He started off saying he loved me and I was a deer in head lights. I would say it back but not mean it in that type of way. My family was going through deaths and sickness, and you would think you could call and rely on your man. Child please!!!. He would be fishing and playing basketball with his friends.

To sum all this nonsense up: He was broke. Never spent time with me unless we were drinking, always with his friends, and when I say always I mean 6 days out the week, you knew it rained the seventh day because he would be at home. He drunk too much, lied about what days he worked and didn’t work.
I finally woke up the eighth month and give him a list of choices, and when I say list I mean typed and copied and handed it to him. Choice one: Break up. Choice two: Get serious about us. Choice three: Stay the way we are and I will cheat and you don’t get that privilege because you are happy being unhappy. He decided to stop speaking to me. Meaning he cussed and fussed to his friends and completely avoided me. My friend said I had the right to do it but I need to sit down and talk with him to see if we could work it out. I think she’s dumb because she’s taking care of a sorry nergo and always crying.

My question to you, am I wrong for caring about myself and giving him ultimatums or was I wrong and seemed selfish and not caring about the “relationship” and his nonexistent feelings. -
Ms. I Come First

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://hellobeautiful.com/2523666/i-gave-my-boyfriend-an-ultimatum-about-our-relationship-he-stopped-speaking-to-me/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful....

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I have a 17-month old son, who of course is curious and gets into things like toddlers do, and my husband, who I’ve been married to for 7 months, yells at him.

My son likes following him around the house, and he yells at him for that. One time my son was touching my husband, and he told him you’re not my son get off me. That hurt my feelings because my toddler didn’t know what he was saying and he kept trying to touch him until I picked him up.

My husband has 3 kids, two boys with one woman, and a daughter with another woman. He talks more about her than his sons, but he doesn’t see his kids because the mother of the boys refuse to let him, even though he pays child support, and the mother of daughter he can’t see because she moved to another state. He doesn’t pay child support. Is he feeling resentment toward my toddler because he is not his by blood? Also, he continues to keep hoping that I’m pregnant with his child, which I don’t want any more children. I have two boys from a previous relationship. I’m pretty much doing it alone. It’s hard, and he honestly can’t afford another kid himself. – Don’t Know What To Do

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://hellobeautiful.com/2522927/my-husband-yells-at-my-toddler-told-him-youre-not-my-son/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

My wife and I have been separated for a few months now.

We got married in 2010, but every since then she wants to flirt with other guys by telling them she love them, sending nude photos, emails, Skype, texting, Facebook and etc. I have been asking her for 11 months to stop, but I keep catching her. Now, because I left and filed for a divorce, she wants to act right. She’s a great person in heart, but I don’t trust her? She wants to start on a clean slate. The final court date is in a few days.  What is your opinion? – Mr. Confused

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/595515/dear-bossip-for-11-months-ive-asked-my-wife-to-stop-sending-bare-photos-texts-emails-to-other-men/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

Hi Terrance! This is so cliche to say, but I really do read Bossip and your column religiously.

Anyway, I have a dilemma. About six years ago, when I was 16-years old, I met a guy on MySpace (that is so embarrassing to say). We dated for a few months and at the time we were both seeing other people, after all we were in high school. Well, he began to get a bit clingy and I cut it off. Which lead to him dropping “my stuff” off at my front door and disappearing, never to be heard from again…until about four months ago.

While out shopping with my friend I got a request on Facebook (also embarrassing). And, I knew I recognized the person so I went through his pictures and remembered who he was. After some prodding he finally remembered me too and had found me by coincidence on a suggestion from Facebook. I am now 22-years old and he is now 23-years old.

He was, at the time, in a relationship and I had just ended one. We spoke for a while and decided to meet up for lunch. By the time we actually got around to going through with it (late January), he and his girlfriend had separated. He told me originally that it was the distance. She moved to Kansas City for a job and we live in Philadelphia. Then he changed his story saying that she dumped him because after a post he put on his Facebook page that she thought he was seeing someone else.

We have pretty much been inseparable from the first day, dates, spending the night, etc. But, within the past couple of weeks, he started acting strangely. He became sometime-y about answering calls and texts, even posting a status about how he still thinks about her! I asked him multiple times if he needed time and space to get over his ex. And he told me multiple times that he is over her, but just not over the way things ended (she dumped him via text). He assured me that I wasn’t a rebound and he was really into me. His disappearing act culminated this past weekend when we were supposed to go out Saturday night when I got off of work. He let me know about 10 minutes before he was supposed to pick me up that “something came up,” and he wouldn’t be able to make it, but that he would make it up to me and had a surprise for me Sunday night.

Well, Saturday I spoke to him around 8. I called and texted him Saturday-Monday with no response. I finally hear from him Monday night around 11:30, and he once again says that “something came up.” I once again asked him if he needed time and space and he once again answered “no.” He said he just wanted to “slow things down a bit.” And, my response was “how about we slow them to a halt motherfreaker and not speak at all?” He immediately called me back and said that’s not what he wants. After I stated my annoyance with the way he handled things, and much apologizing on his part, he picked me up from work Tuesday night and last night and stayed over both nights. This morning I get a little flutter in my stomach, a gut feeling if will and go through his phone. Childish, I know. But, boy am I glad I did. I found texts between him and his ex! And they have been speaking SINCE THE DAY HE STOOD ME UP! She is dating someone new and just wants to be friends, but they both said they miss each other. He states. That he is lonely and then she says…

HER: “Don’t you have a girl you’re talking to?”
HIM: “Dating, not in a relationship.”
HER: “Do you like her?”
HIM: “I don’t love her, I don’t hate her. But I’m getting bored *shrugs*”

He’s soooo bored that he’s laid up with me almost every night and cuddles me as if I’m going to dissipate in the middle of the night, picks me up and take me to work every day and basically lives with me! My dilemma is this: How do I end it? I know I want it to be over, because those texts and his actions have let me know he’s not as into me as he claims. I just don’t know how to go about it. One friend suggested I tell him, “I don’t love you, I don’t hate you, but you bore me.” Another suggested just telling him I read the texts and seeing what he has to say. I’d like to know what a professional thinks. – Nobody’s Rebound

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/592810/dear-bossip-my-boyfriend-wrote-a-text-about-me-to-his-ex-said-i-dont-love-i-dont-hate-her-but-im-bored/