Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

My daughter is 21-years old and is the apple of my eye. Don’t get me wrong I have two more kids, but I’m close to my youngest one. But, lately we have been fighting over every little thing to the point where I back away from her. Let’s start from how it started.

Almost a year ago my daughter met a guy online when she was living with me and before I knew it he was living in my home, and that where the battle starts. My daughter and I have been at each other’s necks to the point where she has told me many times that she is taking my grandkids from me and leaving town. She forgets I’m the one who stopped children’s services from taking both of her babies because she didn’t let anyone know she was pregnant with the first child. She had him by herself in her room. And, the second she just made it to the hospital. It’s gotten to the point that my daughter has moved out and into her own home and welfare has cut her off for six months. So, me and my mom has been paying her bills instead of having her move back home, but I went an extra yard to make sure that she has little things she needs. But, every time I turn around she is snapping my head off for no reason whatsoever, and making me look like the bad guy every time. Then to top it off, every time I jump back at her man steps in with his 2cents. So, when I lay down the law on him he goes running back to my daughter. It’s gotten to the point where we don’t speak for weeks.

Now, that I’m finally getting my life out of storage from these last three years, after being there for my daughter and her kids, and trying to find someone in my life, everything between me and my daughter has gone downward so very fast that I didn’t have time to blink or turn my neck. What should I do to fix my relationship with my daughter? – Crying Mother 

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/592196/dear-bossip-i-stopped-childrens-services-from-taking-her-children-but-my-daughter-doesnt-respect-me/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip....

Dear Bossip,

I just thought I would write about my marriage of 9 years with a man I have been with for 12 years, and known for 16 years. 

I am 31-years old, and I am white married to a black man. (This will be important). We were really good friends when we were young. He dated people as well as I.

I had 1 child by a boyfriend when I was 20, and 2 children by him. We broke up because I wouldn’t have an abortion. So, while I was pregnant, me and my husband started hanging out, and eventually dating when my son was about 1-years old. His mother passed away and he sort of moved in with me. We both started going to church and got married. However, he didn’t stay in church but a few years and now he is really out there. Before, he was a sweet gentle man. Now he cannot go one day without smoking, drinking, and curses almost every word. He admitted to cheating on me numerous times before we were married, but said he stopped when we got married. However, he thinks it is okay to hang out with women because he doesn’t want to be with them.  He was caught with 2 women in his lap at a club, but said it was just an innocent thing. No harm because he came home that night. He lies about a lot of stuff, he openly flirts with women, and tells me that he tells them they are pretty but that doesn’t mean anything either.

However, the names he calls me are never pretty. He is abusive both physically and mentally, and it seems to be getting worse. He also has started saying that white people are the devil. But, then at other times, he says he loves me and he wants this to work on us, and it’s me that is preventing him from loving me. When he does get abusive he says he will kill me and my family (if he can’t find me) if I tell anyone. My church knows some things, and my family is figuring it out. But, I don’t even feel comfortable telling him that we need to separate, because I am not sure how he will even act. He always accuses me of the things he does. He knows I go to work (I pay all the bills) and church. I do not cheat, and didn’t cheat even before our marriage. I don’t drink and definitely don’t smoke anything.  I just have never been like that. I think he saw my naivety. He also talks about he is like a pimp and that is just how he is. I don’t want to be his hoe, and I would have never married him knowing this is how he is.

I just can’t figure out how to leave this situation without violence or problems. What can you advise, anything that can help. Thank you so much. – Afraid To Leave

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/589961/dear-bossip-my-husband-hangs-with-other-women-says-hes-like-a-pimp/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

Man, Terrance, I need help! Where do I start? I got married on February 10, 2012 to a beautiful woman.

Man, she was everything I thought I wanted. Beautiful, sexy, successful, and a great mother. Before we got married we dated for 10 months. It was a strong relationship. I had some jealousy issues because of some stuff she told me about her pass that I didn’t agree with. It affected our relationship a little, and it made me feel a little insecure. But, we got through it.

She has a 4-year old son. He was bad when we were dating, but she would handle him. But, she kept on asking me to help her discipline him. This kid has a father in his life and I didn’t feel comfortable with me disciplining him. But, anyway, we go ahead and take that walk down the aisle. We got married. That’s when all hell broke loose. Her son turned in to the spawn of Satan. He was so disrespectful to everyone including his mother. This put a huge strain on our new marriage. She said I wasn’t trying to build a relationship with her son. I tried, but he would do everything to try and push my buttons. So, one time he hit my mother while she was babysitting him. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. We got into it. I told her he needs stern discipline. She said, “F**k you.” So, I snatched the laptop from her. She jumps up in my face like a man, and like she was gonna hit me. So, I jump up like I wish you would hit me! She runs out and tells everyone I tried to hit her. It gets worse. Later that night, she tells me she’s pregnant. I told her that I’m sorry and that I love her. She came to bed that night and I thought it was good.
The next day she snatches her son, takes the laptop and car, and leaves. She ain’t been back since. Come to find out she aborted the baby and is demanding me to bring her stuff. I love her. We are married, but I don’t know what to do??? Any advice??? Sorry for writing so much. LOL. – Married And Lost

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/589074/dear-bossip-she-wanted-me-to-discipline-her-son-when-i-tried-she-got-upset-with-me/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I read all your comments and respect your opinion, so here’s my story. I’ve been married for twelve years. I manage a salon, I’m an artist, and work with photographers. My husband is a personal trainer. We love each other very much. We have three kids together and have been together on and off since eighth grade. At first he was ignorant and thuggish, but great to me. I used to wish he had a relationship with God, as I was raised in a Baptist Church. I had a rough childhood and he stuck by me and we prevailed over many trials together. I used to wish he knew God more, and although he said he believed I never pushed him to go to church with me or anything.

About six months ago, we were watching some videos about black Israelites on the internet and they were interesting. I thought that and left it alone. But, one day my husband went to work and a guy he works with talked to him about it and from there he would watch those videos every day. He started reading the Bible more and more, separating himself from friends, and he is whole heartedly a believer in what the Israelites have taught him. I agree with some things but not all, as some of the beliefs are downright offensive to some people. I started really reading just to learn more for myself and have come to some differences in opinions. My issue is that now he wants me to stop taking my kids to church where I have been raised, and to stop following my traditions.  My 83-year old grandmother would not understand if I abandoned her and the choir that I help her with. I’m so confused. The Bible says the head of a woman is the man. Do I follow him and go against myself? Please help. – My Husband Or My Religion

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/588582/dear-bossip-im-not-sure-if-i-should-convert-my-religion-for-my-husband-especially-as-a-black-israelite/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I have been dating a wonderful man for over a year now, and he has been anything but extraordinary for me. We are madly in love with each other, and do everything that committed couples do. He told me plenty of times that he loves me, and shows me too, so I know that it’s real. I decided to move in with him about 3 months ago, and have been living with him ever since. I’m getting ready to leave out for the military soon, which he is very supportive of, and works a good paying job, 11 plus years in the making for him.

Well, 8 months into our relationship, I broke up with him and decided to move to Georgia with family, and he didn’t take that so well. I felt bad for leaving him unexpectedly, but felt a relief when I did so. He loves me a lot. While I was down there he sent me flowers, and helped me out when I was sick. He offered to come down to see me and even waited for me to come back home to try and make things work out between us. I was living in Georgia for about 5 months before I decided to return home, and that was when I moved in. He paid for my ticket and took me out to dinner when I arrived.

He suggested that I move in with him since things wasn’t going so well for me in Georgia. He also told me over the phone, while I was in GA, that I didn’t have to worry about anything as far as paying rent or bills. Everything was gonna be taken care of since he wanted to help me get back on my feet when I arrived home. He is very supportive of me. If I need anything he pays for it and tells me how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and even mentioned marriage. Not only does he look out for me genuinely, but for my sick father as well, because he cares.

Jumping right into it, he is NOT the problem, his baby mother is. He has 2 kids by her, one is biologically his and the other is not. Before he met me, he was with her for 5 years. They were living together in the same house that we are living in now. He broke it off with her because she wasn’t fulfilling his needs or wants in a relationship, so she decided to move out into her own place and left him with all the bills. He told me the only reason why he stayed with her for so long was because of the kids.

In the beginning of our relationship she wasn’t a problem, but soon as she found out about us, she became one. I don’t know if she jealous of me or what, but I’m with him now and that is something she has to swallow. Me and her have got into it twice, but that was because she started to keep his son away from him. She felt as though I “stole” him from her, which is untrue. So, ever since I moved in with him, she has been doing things intentionally. But, I personally think she still has feelings for him, and is using his son as a pawn to stay next to him. When I ask him does he still have feelings for her, he says no, he just cares for the kids.

Recently, me and him has been getting into it because of the things she would do when she comes over to drop the kids off. I know that it’s NOT my house to be the boss, but I feel as though if you are in a relationship with someone, but have kids by somebody else, your ex shouldn’t be able to do whatever she pleases when she comes over, especially if you have a woman living there. He says the reason for him not speaking up to her is that he’s trying to keep the peace between them so he can see his son.

Soon after, I suspected him of cheating. She came over one day to drop off the kids, and spoke to me. She told me that she has a man, and is currently PREGNANT by him, and that she and my man are not messing around, they are just friends and parents to the kids! Now, a part of me wants to believe her, then, another part of me doesn’t. He’s always told me she found her a man and all, but I would always disagree, only reason being, when he told her I had moved in she didn’t take it well.

I have a great relationship with his kids, and he pays his child support for his son faithfully. So, why every time she comes over she ALWAYS have something to say??? And, why does she get all upset when her baby father moves on with his life, and decide to move another woman in his house, if she has a man, and is expecting another child? Shouldn’t she be HAPPY?????? I’M CONFUSED.  HELP! – Confused and Bothered

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/2520412/i-love-my-man-want-a-life-with-him-but-his-baby-momma-wont-move-on/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I need some help! I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now.

During the first year or so of our relationship we were in that honeymoon stage where everything was perfect. Neither of us spent much time with our friends because we couldn’t get enough of each other, but after awhile the newness of the relationship died down (like it does in all relationships), and I began wanting to spend more time with my friends. I started going out about once a week (usually on Friday’s after work for happy hour) and it started causing problems in the relationship because my boyfriend would get jealous and worried that I was speaking to other guys.

After about another year and a half of dealing with his insecurities, I told him that I needed a break because I couldn’t deal with the arguing that would inevitably happen just because I wanted to spend a couple hours with friends. We broke up for a couple months and he begged me all the while to come back. We finally started speaking again and taking things slow and I told him I couldn’t get back with him until he showed me he had learned to trust me. I’ve gone out quite a few times since we started seeing each other again and he has definitely shown major improvement! He doesn’t argue with me anymore and he seems to have worked on his insecurities.

The problem I’m facing now though is that now I’m the one with the insecurities! Every couple of weeks he’ll go out and grab a few drinks with his friends, but he doesn’t invite me along, when before he would invite me to go everywhere with him! He doesn’t stay out late or act shady. It just worries me a little that he doesn’t think to invite me at all. Do I have reason to worry or am I just trippin?? – Mis-Trust

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/587899/dear-bossip-he-used-to-be-insecure-when-i-went-out-with-friends-now-im-the-insecure-one/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

My ex recently went to jail for a domestic charge, but he still wants to be a part of our daughter’s life.  

Let me rewind for a second. You see, we’d been together for 3 years. He is 23 and I’m 21-years old, and going to school for nursing. He is a high school drop-out. We met through mutual friends. Things started off okay, but then they became rocky. He doesn’t know how to hold his liquor, nor does he know how to keep hands to himself; which I found out the hard way.

I’ve been through a lot with this man – I’ve had his child, and as well as being choked, and dragged by my hair. Pretty much to him I’m his equal in strength. I was his enabler, and the couple of jobs he’s had they were never stable. He’s also very insecure. He told me to get an abortion twice, not to mention him cheating on me when I was 3 months. Before him I had a lot of confidence. Now, I don’t know.

So, now we have a 5-month old.  When I was pregnant he acted as if he was so happy. But, he stressed me out my whole pregnancy. Thankfully my baby was born healthy.  We bring her home and he starts screaming at her to stop crying, swearing at her and what have you. Mind you, he was already no help (I had a C-section) and couldn’t do much, so I had to end my recovery to be able to care for our child because I didn’t want things to escalate. Due to our relationship I don’t have many friends or family.

The situation at hand is that I got a restraining order on him where I was awarded full custody. I let him come by to see the baby, and when I asked him to help bring the baby down the stairs for me (he brings down the carriage & stroller combined), the baby tipped over. His excuse is that he thought I had the other end. I know I’m stupid for letting him come by, but that is his child. I feel it was on purpose, although he was crying crocodile tears. I called the police because I was concerned for the well-being of my baby. Now, he wants me to hold him down. Puhhleeaase. My question is should I even let him be a part of her life? I didn’t have that male figure. I so want her to have that bond, but not under those circumstances. Or, if it costs her safety, sanity, and innocence.  Please help! – Ms. Helpless

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/587284/dear-bossip-my-childs-father-is-in-jail-for-domestic-abuse-but-he-wants-to-be-a-part-of-her-life/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

About 8 months ago I put my husband out because I found out he had an ongoing affair for the past 6 years. I caught him twice before with the same “Other Woman,” and he swore he would break it off both times. He never did.

Fast forward to now and he is refusing to work on the marriage or even consider working on the marriage. He seems content to live with his sister and her family while I am now single mother to 2 teenagers and a pre-teen.

I wanted him to work on the marriage and was willing to forgive, but he says he doesn’t know if I can be “the wife he needs,” or him the husband I need. He says he love me, but he doesn’t want to just be married for the sake of marriage or the kids, he wants to have fun and have a fun companion. We are both 47 years old, and he says he doesn’t want to grow old and find himself stuck in a boring marriage.

My heart is broken each time I ask him to at least try to work on the marriage and he refuses. Now, I am realizing I may have to give up and move on. The problem is he is at my house at least 4 times a week to visit our kids and I feel vulnerable and hopeful when he is around. Do I still wait on him? How do I let go and move on? When does this ache and sadness lessen? When will I be able to sleep at night and not feel like crying! When will the thought of being with someone else stop frightening me?

I didn’t have the affair but I feel as though I am being punished because of it. – Lonely and Confused

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/2519954/my-husband-cheated-for-6-years-im-willing-to-work-on-us-but-he-refuses/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I am a 22-year old female who just graduated from college.

I was involved in a relationship with a 25-year old man for two years. Initially we started talking on the phone before we met in person. My dad went on a business trip to my country (West African country), and came back telling me his friend’s brother saw a picture of me and really liked me. At first I was confused and really didn’t care, but a few weeks later I started receiving phone calls from a random guy all the way in Africa. I picked up the call because I thought it was one of my family members, but when I didn’t recognize who he was, he introduced himself, and told me he was in fact the guy that liked me. I asked him how he got my number and he said my dad gave it to him. I was very reluctant to talk to him, but being a polite person I would make small conversation with him whenever he called. I didn’t talk to him for long because I wasn’t interested, but like I said, I didn’t want to be rude.

A year later, I decide to travel to my country to visit my family, and somehow, someway, we ended up at his family’s home for a get-together. I’ve never seen him before and didn’t know what he looked like, but I knew I was at his home. All of a sudden, a man walked up behind me and asks me if I’m the person he’s been talking to all this while and I said yes. He introduced himself again and asked me out on a date. I was a little embarrassed because I wasn’t expecting to see him. I thought he was cute and was instantly attracted to him, but I didn’t care to know him since we lived two continents away. Once again I didn’t want to be rude so I agreed to go on a date with him. He picked me up and took me to random places and then back to his house and we hung out and talked. He gave me a phone to stay in contact with him since I left my phone in the states.

I started to develop feelings for him and really started to see his personality. For the rest of the time there, he took me to different places and even started to tell me he loved me, all within a span of three days. I was overwhelmed but I didn’t know what to think. When I got back to the states, we stayed in touch and regularly talked on the phone. I became bored with the relationship since he was so far away and had no way of coming here, unless I married him, and filed for him. I wasn’t ready for marriage and decided to break things off. He wouldn’t hear of it and constantly told me he loved me and wants to marry me. I didn’t want to break his heart and decided to tough it out. I was beginning to fall in love with him, but I wasn’t ready for marriage. I didn’t know what to do.

One day, he wrote me on Facebook and gave me the greatest news, he was coming to the states on a student visa. I was ecstatic about the news. When he came he landed in Virginia. I was angry, again, because I live in California and he lives in Virginia. I asked him why he didn’t come to Cali and he said because he thought all the states were close to each-other. We decided to do the long distance thing and would regularly fly around to see each-other. He would tell me how much he loved me and how much he wants to marry me every single day. I became convinced that we were meant for each other.

On Christmas day 2010, I called to wish him a merry Christmas, and a woman who referred to him as baby asked him to pick up the phone. Blood rushed through me. I kept saying, “Hello, hello,” and the phone went dead. I called and called and called but no answer. I then went on Facebook to his page and saw a girl he once told me about and wanted to help him get his green card by marrying him. I went to her page and there were pics of them together and she was calling him her boyfriend. I was devastated, how could he do this to me after everything. I didn’t understand it and I contacted the girl. She was bold enough to tell me to check my man and blah blah because she has him. I thought about our family, my father, how close we all are. From the same village in our country, and the shame that comes with it.
I decided to end it right then and there before it gets too deep. After two weeks, he calls me acting normal. I cursed him out and broke up with him. He begged me and begged me saying that the girl is crazy, a liar and likes him, but he loves me and wants to marry me. I didn’t believe him, but he wouldn’t stop begging and begging, so I decided to give him a chance. For the whole year of 2011, we decided to start over and I would regularly go on the girls Facebook page.

In September, I went to her page, clicked on her pics and saw more pictures of them together as a couple. I wasn’t shocked, but I was angry and felt played. I called him again, cursed him out and told him never to call me again. I told him that he didn’t deserve me and everything I did for him, and that I did them from my heart and not because he used me. I cut off all contact with him and after about a week of me crying and sobbing uncontrollably, he calls me telling me that the girl is still crazy. The pics were taken at a party with other people and she cut them out and only left him. I asked him if she was so crazy, why are you still hanging around her? Why is she still your friend on Facebook? And, if you love me and know she’s trying to break up our relationship, why are you still communicating with her? I don’t remember the answer to these questions. I kept hanging up on him and asking him to leave me alone. He kept calling and calling, and telling me I need to be strong because other people are out to destroy what we’ve built and I’m letting them.

After about two weeks, I relented and gave it another try. After we moved on again, I wasn’t stupid, I knew something was going on, but I didn’t want to break it off just on circumstantial evidences. I wanted to have the real proof and know that I wasn’t crazy. So, I went to visit him for Christmas. This was the make it or break it trip for me. I booked a one-way flight after he begged me for two months to come visit. He didn’t want to come to Cali because I still live with my parents and he didn’t want my family intruding. He promised to pay for my ticket back and I believed him. I went, and the first two days we had a blast. Then he had to go to work. He worked at a nursing home as a counselor and did multiple shifts in one night. He decides to go for the night shift and promised to come back in the morning. He came back and then went for another shift and this continued for the rest of the trip. I became annoyed and hung up on him when he called to check up on me. After that, he never came back for three days. I didn’t see or hear from him even on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day.

I was distraught, heartbroken and scared. Here I was in this state, no money to get back home and nowhere to go. I called him and asked him to pay for my ticket to return, and he blatantly told me he had no money. I was shocked and realized right then and there that he was the devil’s son. I called him that and hung up on him and borrowed some money from a friend to go home. After I left he called me twice, but I never answered and that was the last I ever heard from him, and it has now been a few months. I still think about him from time to time and cry about the situation a lot because I loved him and still do. But, I refuse to go back to him. All I want to know is why, what was his motive after all these years. Please don’t crucify me because I decided to give love a chance. I just want your opinion as to why he was so adamant on being with me and marrying me and then doing what he did. – Annoyed

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/586741/dear-bossip-hes-from-my-country-told-me-he-loved-me-but-after-2-years-i-learned-it-was-a-lie/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I have a major relationship problem and I need your advice.


The situation is a little complicated, however, I am going to summarize it nice and simple. Here we go:
I have been with my youngest daughter’s father for over 7 years. I have two kids prior to him, ages 8 and 7 years old. He came into their lives when they were 1 and 2 years old. We had our daughter in 2008 (she is now 4), so he accepted my kids prior to us having kids together.

At the time, when we met, we rushed into moving in with each other fairly quickly, however, we were ready and wanted to be with each other.

Well, my relationship with my mother isn’t all that great and he knows of the things in which she has done, and caused in my life. At the time we moved in together my mom held a grudge against me because I wouldn’t take custody of my older cousins’ 5 kids, who got lost to CYF. I didn’t take custody of them because I have my own darn life and I had my own 2 kids, so it was not my responsibility. So, instead of coming to me with this, my mother went to him and told him all this negative stuff about me, which was not true.  In return, he came and told me and I just turned away from my family. Furthermore, my mom went to the extent to almost break me and him up; he’s into the fast life and she tried to bring him down!!!!  Enough said right there.

So, he in return HATES HER!  He also does not get along with my younger sister and it’s understandable. She did some negative things that she won’t take responsibility for.  In conclusion, he chooses to stay away from them and he doesn’t want to breathe their same AIR. And, for 7 years, I did exactly what he requested.

All the while, I stayed away from my family. I missed them dearly. My children could not have a relationship with their grandmother, or aunt, and a big part of me was missing. I knew what it was, but didn’t care. I guess you can say I started questioning him and asking him if he could just give it another chance because I was missing my family terribly. I know they are corrupted, but they are my FAM!  He refuses and says they have done too much for him to trust them, and I understand that, but I need closure so that I can be happy again. However, he refuses.

We are not together anymore because of this situation. He and my mother, and sister, will never like each other, and I want to be happy. I love him, but I’m not going to keep turning away from my family. Life is a bunch of mistakes, and forgiveness needs to be sought, while the past will never change. I am just so torn between both sides, so I choose to be alone with my 3 kids so I can have a relationship with both sides.

He loves me and I know it. He uses what my mom has done in the past and throws it up in my face constantly. I am trying to rebuild my relationship with my mother to get closure for past wounds, and he’s not receptive to this and doesn’t understand my reasoning. I know my mom has done and said a lot to hurt me PERSONALLY, and she was not there for me when she was supposed to be, but that’s the past. I am ready for a new beginning relationship.

Why is he not receptive, understanding and or passionate about me getting closure and rebuilding my relationship with my mom? Is he jealous or trying to look out for my best interest because I am CONFUSED? – Trying To Rebuild

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/585666/dear-bossip-i-was-on-the-outs-with-my-family-i-forgave-them-but-my-boyfriend-wont/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I really need your help before I up and walk away from my man. I’ve been dating this one guy for 15 months and I’m tired of feeling hurt and left out. He can come to my place and hang out with me, but I can’t go to his place because he doesn’t want to cause any problems with his kid’s mom. She wants him back, but he doesn’t want her because of what she did and what she doesn’t want to do.

I do love him, but I’m at the end of trying to make this relationship work by myself. If you’re in a relationship and it’s going good, then what’s wrong with me meeting his family? He sees his mother every day. His brothers live out of town, and his father he doesn’t care too much for him. He’s been talking about getting marry and buying a house for us because he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and I want the same. But, what I don’t understand is why would you want to marry someone that you won’t let me meet your family? He’s met mine and I never been to his place because he doesn’t want his kids mother to start anything with me. I’m grown and can handle myself.

He told me last week that he let his mother move in with him, and it hurt me because I’ve never been to his place nor met his mother. Am I wrong for telling him that it’s not right for her to move in when I have never been there or met her? Now, he wants me to come over, but I won’t go because he’s had plenty of time for me to meet her and see his place. I am a good woman to him. I’ve done more than my fair share to keep to us going. I’ve never asked him for money or to pay my bills. I’ve helped him a lot because he doesn’t have much money. I feel like I’ve been the man and he’s the woman. I know that I have been to damn good to him and more understanding to him and his problems.

Where do I fit in? Was I wrong for telling him that his mother will always be there, but I am a guarantee! Momma’s boy needs to get a back bone and do what’s right because I will walk out for good! I’m hurting over this. – Confused By Momma’s Boy

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://hellobeautiful.com/2519035/weve-been-dating-15-months-ive-never-been-to-his-house-or-met-his-mother/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

Well, Terrance, here is the story let’s just dive in. My story is that of wanton stupidity. Let’s start from the beginning.

After being incarcerated for 10 years, from age 19 to 30 years old, I moved to a city I have never been to, mainly to get a new start. I just wanted something better than the outs that my life had been affording.
I met a woman and the fear of being alone again made me move faster than I truly would have done before in my life. We were married on some, “Surprise,” we have the paper, and I know a preacher type deal. Let me back up and say that I loved this woman, but now know we were better friends than anything else. I was working and making a good living, but my home life was not what I wanted. I was able to do what I wanted – pay no bills and basically jack off my earnings while she paid the bills. A dream life for most of the men I know, however, more of a nightmare for me.

The reality of my situation is that prison had given me a sense of accountability and the need to take care of self. I met this woman at work, and she just had a child, and we were instant friends. After 7 months of getting to know this woman and her son, I was totally in love and it seemed complete. As it gave me a sense of taking care of me, and that someone needed me was great and a blessing. The child’s father just wasn’t there in any sense of the word, more so in the way of true progress. Life was good and we started experiencing things that I thought were way out of my realm of possibilities.

Now the true story begins when this woman became my wife and from the beginning the problems arose with her sisters, who both had men out of jail, and their situations were night and day. So, imagine the bull-ish going on in our lives. Well, to be short, the sister let me know that not only could I have sex with her, but she had a girlfriend and that she and her would put on a show for me. Well, after the show I did the unthinkable and slept with the sister. The worse mistake of my life. After much agonizing we decided to bury this information and not speak of it again. Well, 10 years later when her marriage of less than a year is in shambles, due to her husband’s crack problem, and the fact that she was responsible for the kids, and she has 6 of which are by four different men, she decided that she would let him know. I didn’t mention that her husband was my best friend.

Well, because of his addiction and his need to ok with his absences to deal with his problem, he decided that not only does she need to tell what happened 10 years ago, but the whole family needs to be made aware of this. So, they spoke with the Pastor and the Pastor had a meeting with my wife’s whole family, which excluded me and my wife. So, now her whole family knows of this and no one says anything for a couple months. Now, after that you can image the state of my marriage.

Well, we have been hanging on by a thread. For the past 3 years our marriage has taken a backseat to anger, humility, non-trust issues, and just all out a 180 degree turnaround. I have taken all that I can, but due to this being my fault I have absorbed all the punishment I can take. I advised my wife that we needed counseling, so we went as it was my idea. But, that didn’t really help her hurt because it is too embedded. Although, things are getting better, but for obvious reasons is not the same. My question is can we make past the past, or have I been a part of something that will never go away? I love my wife and she is my best friend, but her pain has wiped away our lives and our happiness. I just don’t want to waste anymore of this brief life we have if this can’t be fixed. There are so many twist and turns with the story that it could be a book. In my defense, although no excuse for my behavior, I am a great provider, and a wonderful father. I have adopted our son, and I’m the only father he knows. We have another child, of which I have never missed a doctor’s appointment, school visits, afterschool activities, parent teacher conference, and any and everything they do that I can be a part of. I am stuck and really am at a loss. So, everyone beware whatever is done in the dark will come to light. – Trying To Live In The Light

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/584294/dear-bossip-i-made-a-huge-mistake-i-got-married-too-quickly-after-prison-i-slept-with-my-wifes-sister/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I truly and extremely enjoy your advice. You’re honest, sometimes brutally honest, but I love and respect that.

I’ve been married to my husband for two years. He’s got 3 older kids with his ex. We have one toddler and another on the way. This is the first marriage for both of us. I always dreamed my first marriage would be my only marriage because of my Christian beliefs, but now not so much.

To make a long story short, after we found out I was pregnant, he was happy, but then arguments came. In my 1^st trimester he told me to get an abortion during every argument, which was about 7 times. I said very, very ugly things as well (i.e. deadbeat, bum, bish, etc). Then I broke my own cardinal rule after he started putting his phone on vibrate at night and I went through it. I found what I knew would be there, and so I stopped having sex with him and moved out.

My final straw is the ex recently got out of jail and we’ve had altercations, and in one argument he stated he’s going back to his real family (they were never married or engaged). She also texts/calls him begging for sex, and for them to get back together. He says he ignores her. I don’t believe him and I don’t feel ignoring certain actions are good enough.

I’ve filed for divorce. In the midst of all of this are the apologies from him and the promises to do better, and that he will not maliciously hurt me again. But, as you can see he kept doing it. He says he loves me (eye roll), but I don’t see it. Everyone that I’ve tried to talk to about this says I’m the bad guy and I shouldn’t give up and abandon him. Marriage isn’t good overnight, etc, etc.

I do not agree with any of these people and I just want an unbiased opinion and to make sure I’m not crazy. Oh yeah, he also has never helped me with any bills that are mine, and before I stopped letting him use my car he would run out all my gas and only put back $20 worth. I’m no saint, but I have done right by him and I respect my marriage vows. I don’t talk to other men or my exes who still try to keep in contact. My past doesn’t affect him, so why do I have to deal with his? His ex has done/is doing ratchet stuff and it’s too much to name. He says get over it and let’s start over. I forgive him, but I don’t feel like I’m supposed to pretend to forget words that can never be taken back. Please help. – Husband’s A Jerk, Now What

You can read my response, HERE:
http://bossip.com/583353/dear-bossip-my-husband-acts-like-a-jerk-toward-me-hes-told-me-to-get-an-abortion/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I have a dilemma and I need your advice. I’m a 29-year old successful, educated, well-rounded (you know, the credentials of every great woman), yet I am still single. Why?!? I don’t know.

Lately, I have been meeting men only to have a few conversations on the phone but no dates. Some friends of mine tell me that there is nothing wrong with asking a man out on a date and that I should be more aggressive. Others state that I should not ask men out and let them ask me first. Personally, I’m a firm believer that if a man wants to spend time with you he will ask you out regardless. It should not be a game. Why should I have to ask first?  That’d not my line. He is the man; I am the woman. I know my position. Am I right?!?!

So I put this “women asking men out” theory to a test…..here is my story.

I recently met a guy at a party. It was obvious we were attracted to one another so we exchanged numbers. We talked on the phone to get to know each other and the conversations were nice, but weeks would go by and still no actual date. At this point I would have stopped talking to him, but I figure let me try this “theory” out to see what the outcome would be.

During one of our many conversations on the phone, I asked him when he is available to hangout. His response, “I have a flexible schedule just let me know when your available.”

Now, at that very moment, I am thinking, okay maybe this theory does work after all.
Then, two days later go by, I text him that I have an opening and we should meet up for dinner and drinks at a chill spot. He texted back, “sounds good.” I texted back with the day and place. He never replies back.

Now, I know he got my text message and he was open once he texted me back with a “sounds good.”
Days have gone by and I haven’t heard from him since. I took his number out my phone because obvious something went hellah wrong. Maybe I overstepped my position as the woman? Maybe he was not interested in the first place? Could he already be involved?  Was I not aggressive enough?  What the hell happen?!?!?!

So my question to you, Terrance, and the Hello Beautiful readers: Should women ask men out or initiate a first date? Please give me the hardcore advice/truth. It will set me free. – Hopeless Dater

You can read my response, HERE: http://hellobeautiful.com/2514319/single-woman-dating/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I read your advice on Bossip and would like advice. I’m an ex-prostitute and I found the most wonderful man ever.


He tells me I’m beautiful every day. He works hard and wants us to be married before kids. He’s very nice looking, and gave me his password to his phone without me asking so I won’t think he’s cheating. He told me everything about his life from his family to all his exes. He’s told me that I am the best woman to ever enter his life.

Well, here’s the problem I’m having: I know everything about his past, but he knows little white lies about me. He thinks I used to be a medical assistant, but I was a prostitute. He has gotten back in touch with his uncle, who is a cop, and he’s ran background checks on a few of his exes.

I’m afraid that one day he will ask him to run one on me, and all he will have to do is Google me and my whole past will pop up with my past arrests. And, before your fans judge me, I am no longer a prostitute. I’m in school for Cosmetology, and I do care-giving at a nursing home. I am very faithful to him, so don’t think that all hoes can’t change, look at Mary Magdalene. God saved her, and I’m saved now, too. But, I don’t want my past to change my future.

He knows everything else about me, except for what I use to do for work. This is the man I prayed about, and he made me not ever want to do that again, even if I was broke. He said he sees me being his wife, and the mother to his children. And, every time we see hoes on TV, he tells me how disgusted he is with them, and will never touch them. This really bothers me. I mean, I’m a good girl now, but sometimes I feel like he deserves better. Should I tell him what I use to do even though I’m STD free and work now? Or, just leave it in the past? – Confused Girl

You can read my response, HERE:
http://bossip.com/582897/dear-bossip-hes-wonderful-wants-to-marry-me-but-he-doesnt-know-i-was-a-prostitute/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

Hey there! :-) First time reading/seeing your articles (and would love to sign up with you for EVERYTHING).  You are hilarious! But, more importantly, you are straight up and to the point – love it. So, I’m praying you will give me some insight into my situation.

I met this man going on 2 years back, and we conversed on the phone for a couple of months before ever physically meeting. The first time we met was VERY brief at a mutual friends house. I was in and out (running late, really). I was really attracted to him, but by the time I actually call for me and him to chill, A ONE NIGHT STAND, was the only thing on my mind, lol. I’m just being honest.

So, this dude BLOWED my mind, amongst other things, but I still didn’t plan on anything serious with dude. But, I definitely was gone let him hit it again. After the 2nd or 3rd time, we had sex and he gave me his house key, his grandmother’s house key. He told me he was gone wife me and I was going to have his first son. Common sense should’ve told me then that he was CRAZY. But, I was D***NOTIZED. Even though I still had some reservations about the growing situation between him and I. He was so kind and understanding. He seemed to have some sense and self-control about him. He is 40-years old and I’m 30-years old. In the midst of all this good sex and happy beginnings I met his family and he met mine. He painted my living room, bought me and my children clothes (I have 1 boy and 1girl).

So, barely six months later, I had to leave for a mandatory 30 days. He seemed to have held it down, but as soon as I’m released, he is gone that weekend. Then everything returns to normal, somewhat. I start to notice changes in his behavior, like his temper has a short fuse, getting upset over the simplest of things, and he is cursing his mother, whereas before, he always took time to understand. Then I find out I’m pregnant. Damn!

He was ecstatic, which had me somewhat hopeful that his attitude would change for the better.  Well, it didn’t.  Also, by the time I found out I was pregnant, his mother had moved to an apartment complex where he befriended some young men who don’t work and do drugs all day and night long – Green white liquor and pills. Personally, I don’t knock nobody for what they do, as long as they can handle their business. But, I barely drink and I’m a social smoker. But, slowly I’m slowing down my intake.

Anyway, he is happy I’m pregnant. I was sicker than a mug with this pregnancy, and he had no consideration. I didn’t want no hug, no affection, no snuggles after sex because the smell of him had me nauseous. And, I told him time and time again how I felt until I ended up being nasty back to him. I told him he makes me sick in every since of the word and to stay the “F” away from me. When I would be soft-spoken he wouldn’t act like he cared, or he just cursed me saying I was rude. I’m going to try to cut it short.

My last pregnancy was high-risk. So, I’m telling him that my blood pressure is going to shoot up and I might end up with other complications (mind you my blood pressure is already unstable on a non-pregnant day). But, he claims he thought I was lying, until I went to my OB/GYN and they made me go straight to the hospital, where I stayed until delivery (3weeks in-patient). My son was born at 26 weeks. Right before I was put in the hospital I picked up a nice black microwave for the new apartment him and his mother just moved into. Once again, it turns into something negative. This man violently was pushing me in front of my 9-year old daughter, while she was screaming for him to stop.  Later that night he came by my house and cursed my mother and got nasty with my son. I did not press charges, but I did file a report. While I was in the hospital he threatened to kill me. When I got out he threatened to kill me.

Now he claims he never said it and I need to stop making up things. I still have the texts and police report to prove it. He also got kicked out of the hospital while visiting me. I really was just trying to be cordial because I still haven’t gotten over what he did to me in front of my daughter. Skipping to the end, now that our son is home and healthy, I went against my sense and accepted the invitation to his home while his mother was gone. My son was already there for 3 days so I figured me and the father should be ok for less than 24 hours. I was WRONG again. He ends up cursing me because I asked him, “Will you please stop just for a minute and give me the bottle of water you was telling me about? I looked all over the kitchen twice and couldn’t find it.” (The water was so I could fix my son’s formula)

So, after asking nicely two times, then getting yelled at two times, I went off on him for getting loud with me when all I was asking for was help so I could feed HIS baby. Next thing you know, me and my son got kicked out. He snatched the baby bag from me, and when I told him my son was hungry he told me, “That’s on you.”  I simply responded by letting him know that I could eat whatever I wanted to, but it’s his baby suffering because of his, “ANGRY ass BS.”  We ended up having the police come out to his place and he was disputing with the officer about why he should have to give me the things his son needs. Finally, he returns our baby’s things and I am able to leave. He blows my phone up later that night. The next day, and four days later, I still haven’t picked up, but he’s leaving messages saying he wants to see his son.

Now, here is my question- How should I go about visitation, if any? I don’t feel safe if me and him are the only adults in the house. He signed the papers for the birth certificate, but then changed his mind before I sent them in. (He didn’t want his name on it because of child support, however I do have his social security number)

But, I don’t really want him on the birth certificate anyway because that means he’s giving up all access :-)! And, I was going to tell the courts that it’s NOT his baby. Only thing is if he chooses to accept to send child support, and when they do the DNA test, they will find out it is his baby  :-( ! (How backwards is that?)

PLEASE HELP ME! I NEED a little bit of your expertise and knowledge sent my way. Thank you, Boo! Oh yeah, he lies to everybody twisting reality to make him look perfect, but claims he has no reason to lie. I have caught him a couple of times. – Not Really Feeling Him

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/2513841/my-childs-father-wants-visitation-but-i-dont-feel-safe-being-alone-with-him/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I have been in a relationship for about a year now.

I’m turning 21 in a few weeks and I just graduated technical school. I really love and care about the female I’m with, and I receive back the same mutual affection. We both lost our fathers, however, mine at a younger age than her. So, when she hurts, I know how she feels. We don’t have any problems, but a few arguments here and there, but it’s all normal.

I plan on proposing to her in the near future. She doesn’t have children and neither do I. But, the problem is seeing how I just graduated school and I have one prior conviction that I am working on with my lawyer about having taking off my record. It’s been extremely difficult for me to find employment. She wants me to move in with her, and she tells me don’t worry about the bills or anything. But, I feel as a man, and being in a relationship that I should be able to contribute to the household and take care of my woman. I also feel like if I move in with her and I don’t ever come across a job she will become fed up with me living under her roof.

I have other methods of sustaining and being able to provide for her, but seeing where it got me before I really don’t want go down that road. I sometimes feel as if she can do better than me, and I feel awful when we go out on a date and I can never pay. It really takes a toll on my pride and makes me feel less of a man. She tells me don’t worry and just keep searching, but it’s nothing here for me. I’m not picky either. I will take any job that will have me. If I have to shovel s**t I would. Anything I can do to be able to provide for her, and be able to get her that ring that she deserves. I just wanna know what do you think I should do?? From Young Man Just Trying To Find My Place In The World

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/581397/dear-bossip-im-looking-for-work-but-i-have-a-conviction-my-girl-wants-me-to-move-in-with-her/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

My name is Aliccia, and I want to follow my dreams of becoming an actress, but my parents think otherwise. I have had this passion ever since I was a kid, and this is really something I want to do. How do I choose between following my dreams and not disappointing my parents? I would really appreciate it! Thanks. – A Dreamer

You can read my response, HERE: http://hellobeautiful.com/2513574/i-want-to-follow-my-dreams-of-becoming-an-actress-but-my-parents-think-otherwise/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I’m in my 20’s and have a 1-year old child, and I just recently kicked the father of my child out the apartment.


Now, he wants to make things work. I wouldn’t mind taking him back, but every time we get into a fight or when -ish hits the fan he decides he wants to make things work and he loves me and wants to get married and that we should have more kids. Everything some women would love to hear. I wouldn’t have a problem making it work, but he has a history of cheating, and every time we get into a fight he has something nasty to say about my family, myself, and our child.

I’m not the type to forgive and forget things easily, and once we are done fighting all he says is, “I was mad. I didn’t mean what I said.” It’s one thing to bring up my family and to say things about me, but it’s another thing to bad mouth your own child. It gets better -Over the past year I have been the one paying for 90% of everything from clothes, diapers, daycare, formula, jar food, shoes, etc. You get the hint. I have also taken care of all of the household items like making sure we have food, and that the bills are paid on time.

A part of me wants to make things work because he is the father of my child. We’ve been together for 4 years, and from growing up in a single mother household I would love to have a somewhat normal family for my child. At the same time I feel like I can do so much better for myself and my child and if he’s not ready to grow up then so be it. I feel like I’m a great catch. I graduated from college with my BA. I have a job, a car, and my own place. I cook, clean, the whole nine. I don’t understand if you have something good why mess it up? – I Don’t Understand

You can read my response, HERE: http://bossip.com/580318/dear-bossip-i-take-care-of-90-of-the-bills-yet-he-wants-us-to-be-a-family/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I read your blog, “I slept with him, now he is ignoring me.”

It was very interesting and you definitely know how to give good advice. I have been seeing somebody for 9 months now. We were together for 8 months when we had sex. I was a virgin, and believed in sex after marriage until he came in and changed it.

He was very pushy for sex throughout our relationship, and I decided to hold it back. So, we had a break-up on the 18th of March because I wouldn’t be a real girlfriend by sleeping with him, I guess, and that he was sexually frustrated. So, I told him, “it’s okay if you don’t want to be with me. I’ll let you go and I’ll move on.” I didn’t want to beg him like always to, “come back and I love him, etc.”

He was fed up with being needy. He texts me later on saying, “meet me tomorrow, we’ll talk this through.” And, I say “No, I have college tomorrow.” And, he says “last chance.” So, I got a little worried and I went to see him. So, we get to his house and he takes me into his bedroom. He starts taking my clothes off and he says, “I just want to lay down with you naked,” and I thought, “Oh, okay, at least he doesn’t want to screw me.” Then, it kind of went a bit sexual. He puts on a condom and does the deed. And, I lay there hoping that he’ll change from that day onwards, and that he’ll see that I love him.

Guess not. Two weeks later I realize I’m pregnant. My blood test confirms this. I let him know of this – at first he seemed okay – we were discussing what we were going to do. And, then a couple of weeks later he’s picking fights with me over stupid things, being cold, and being distant. I’m all alone and don’t know what to do. There are days where he disappears and doesn’t talk to me and I’m left feeling miserable and used. Any advice would be great. – Thought Sex Would Make Him Happy

You can read my response, HERE: http://hellobeautiful.com/2513006/i-was-a-virgin-but-he-kept-pressuring-me-now-im-pregnant/