Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip....

Dear Bossip,

I need your advice on what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years.

We are high school sweethearts, and both moved out of state to go to college with each other (we go to different schools, but they are in the same city), and have been thinking about moving in with each other (for various reasons that have nothing to do with taking our relationship further). Recently, he’s been acting different and I’ve been close to smacking him in his face and ending it, but our relationship is important so we talked everything out.

Things still weren’t the same after our talk, but I just figured things needed a little time because change isn’t instant. One day when he came over to visit me, he breaks down and tells me that his father is trying to get him arrested. He tells me the story about how there was a lot of money in his account, so he took it out, then got a call from his dad telling him to put it all back but keep $200. Something wasn’t adding up, because although they (him and his father) haven’t had the best relationship, getting him arrested seemed extreme especially after telling him to keep $200.

Last night, which is also TWO WEEKS LATER, I got a call from his mother. She asked me a lot of questions regarding money, asking if my boyfriend has been spending a lot of money on me and if he told me what happened. I told her that he did tell me, and told her the version of what I was told. HIS DUMBASS IS A LIAR. She told me that wasn’t exactly the truth, but wouldn’t tell me what the actual truth was. After telling him that I talked to his mom and that I know the truth, he told me the real story. Apparently, he found checks and thought, “Ooh, easy money,” so he stole them, wrote a random amount of money on them, and deposited the money in his account.

I AM PISSED! I don’t know whether to be more mad that this idiot could be going to jail, or that he lied to me for weeks and betrayed the f**k out of my trust. I’ve been working so hard for our future, and then this dumbass goes and does something stupid, and ILLEGAL. His parents and grandparents are obviously mad and disappointed, so I want to be the person he can lean on and talk to when he gets really scared, but I’m torn. I really do love him, but I’m just too confused to be sure that I can be the Bonnie to his Clyde, Tiny to his T.I. (you get the point). I want to be there to support him during his time of need, but more than anything I just want to smack the –ish out of him for being so stupid!

He’s asked me if I want to end the relationship because he’s sorry for putting me through this ( my face –>  ( -______- ). My heart is telling me to stay with him and support him because I do love him and we aren’t completely sure if charges will be pressed. My brain is telling me to leave because I am a young, beautiful, ambitious black female that has too much going for me to be tied down with a could-be-felon. What should I do? – Confused And Mad As F**k

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/565240/dear-bossip-were-in-college-my-boyfriend-found-some-checks-deposited-them-into-his-account-didnt-tell-me/

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I’m a 27-year old female who just had a baby 2 months ago with a man who lives in another state.

Here is some back story on my relationship with my child’s father. We met when I was 15 and he was 19 through mutual friends. He was visiting in the town I live in. We started out cool, just talking late nights on the phone and things like that. We never seen each during this time, just talking on the phone all the time. At the time I knew he had two kids with his first baby moms who I’ll call ‘Nicole.’ Well, fast forward 10 years and I’ve gone to college and been in other relationships and slept with other people, but I always kept in contact with him even when he got looked up twice. However, I was falling more and more for him throughout these last 10 years.

Well, finally after 10 years of not physically seeing each other and only having phone sex, I decided that I wanted to go see him in his home town. So, I go and see him and everything was cool. So, him and I do visit each other every few weeks for about 2 months. Well, one day I get a phone call from a woman (who I’ll call ‘Jessica’) who identifies herself as his wife. As you can imagine this news is shocking and devastating to me. Well, Jessica proceeds to tell me that they have been married for 2 years and that they have 3 children together with one on the way. She also tells me that he has 7 kids with ‘Nicole,’ and that she also has another kid on the way at the same time. Needless to say, him and I got into a huge argument and I told him I never wanted to talk to him again.

Even though he hurt me to my core I still really loved and wanted him. Fast forward again to about 6 months later and he calls me and tells me how sorry he was for lying to me, and about how he wants to make us work, and that he and ‘Jessica’ were divorcing. After about a month of us talking again he came to live with me in my hometown, and he was going back and fourth because he was having health issues. He had doctor’s appointments and needed to check on his other kids.

During this time things were going well, and about 2 months of him living with me I became pregnant. Well, when I was about 2 months pregnant ‘Jessica’ and ‘Nicole’ showed up at my doorstep with ‘Nicole’ being about 7 ½ months pregnant at the time. I was livid that these two bitches had the nerve to show up at my doorstep. But anyways, I maintained my composure and let them in. ‘Nicole’ informed me that she was carrying his 8th child! Which he also confirmed. ‘Jessica’ informed me that there was no impending divorce, and that she had no plans to divorce him at all.

After both women sat in my house and continued to tell me all the lies he was telling including lying about his age for the last 11 years (he is actually a year younger than what he originally told me), ‘Jessica’ then informed me that she was here to take her husband back home. Then, ‘Jessica’ then proceeded to have a crying-fest and then basically reconcile in my living room! So, he packed his things and leaves with the two of them, leaving me heartbroken, pregnant, and alone.

I spent the remainder of my pregnancy alone and angry that he wasn’t there. He did call me several times a week to check on me and the baby’s progress. He was always telling me that he still loves and cares about me. Well, fast forward again to 2 months ago and I have the baby without him being there for the delivery (he was unable to make it because of the holidays). Since the baby was born he has been calling me and texting me daily telling me he loves me and wants to be with me, even telling me that him and ‘Jessica’ are divorcing (for real this time), and that he was only with her for her money because he doesn’t have a job. He even came and seen the baby for the first time a few weeks ago, and when he was here he told me that he wants to move back with me and raise our child together.

Mr. Dean, I really love and care about him and I want to make our relationship work for the sake of our child, but I don’t want to get hurt again, but at the same time I don’t want my child to grow up fatherless.  Please advise me because I am completely confused. Thank you for your time and sorry about this being so long but there was a lot to say. – Just Really Confused

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/564183/dear-bossip-i-want-us-to-be-a-family-but-hes-married-has-8-kids-with-his-other-girlfriend/ 

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I met this awesome guy a little over 2 years ago when we sat next to one another on a flight.


We had great conversation and shared many laughs by the time we reached our destination. Upon saying our goodbyes, we exchanged email addresses and said we would keep in touch. This would probably be a good time to mention that he was ending an on-again off-again 5-year relationship when we met, and he was actually returning from visiting her.

I didn’t contact him after our meeting because I lost his contact information. We finally ended up speaking after I Googled him and found his work email address. After conversing via email, we exchanged phone numbers and continued corresponding. Now, this is where my dilemma starts. When we started talking on the phone, I began to notice how unavailable he was. We rarely spoke and although I desired to speak to him more, I didn’t call him a lot. He said his work load as a teacher and coach was very demanding and the occasional spare time that he did have was devoted to his family (i.e. mother, father, etc.; he doesn’t have kids) and rest.

After a month and a half to two months in, I thought it was best that we end things because I didn’t like the feeling of being ignored. There was no communication between us for several months, then out of the blue one day I started getting sporadic texts from him just asking how I was doing. I resisted his efforts initially, but soon succumbed. He began calling and after explaining to him that I didn’t like nor appreciate being #265 on his “To Do List,” he said he had the time because his busy coaching season had ended. Although the contact between us still wasn’t ideal, it was far better than before. We eventually decided to meet up and our first date ended up being 2 ½ days long. The sex was AMAZING!! He was super attentive and very accommodating.

Since that time, things have slowly gone back to the way they were when we first met. His job consumes a great deal of his time, and the remaining time is spent with family. The distance between us is a huge obstacle. We live approximately 2 ½ hours apart. He has come to visit me a couple of times, but when we began traveling to each other’s respective cities, I drove to see him three times before he even came once. Each time he’s come, it’s only due to me kicking and screaming and threatening to leave the “relationship” altogether.

I’m so confused because I know he is an awesome guy and I’m hopefully optimistic that one day he will get it together, and realize we could cultivate a wonderful relationship if we both commit to making it work. I’m 31 and he’s 35, so I’m ready to start working towards a permanent relationship with whoever the guy may be. I’ve had several failed relationships and I’m honestly tired at this point. I do realize I am playing a waiting game, and the fate of us is resting solely in his hands. I don’t like giving someone that much power when they haven’t necessarily proven they are deserving of it. I feel we are at the same place we were 2 years ago with the exception of introducing sex in the picture. Should I stay and continue hoping that things will improve or should I leave and continue my search of finding the right guy? – Ms. Hopefully Optimistic

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/562481/dear-bossip-he-doesnt-make-an-effort-to-be-with-me-but-im-hopefully-optomistic-hell-change/ 

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I’m a 32-year old male who has an attractive very close female friend that I’ve known since I was 17-years old.

I have a welcoming personality, so I have plenty of friends, many are female. When I first met the woman who would become my wife, I carried it in a manner as if I wasn’t really tripping off of her (plus we lived 10 hours apart and saw each other like 2 1/2- 3 months), so I told her about my female friends, especially this one.

I mentioned things like although we never had any type of physical or emotional relationship, that logically my friend would be my perfect mate as we have much in common, but we always were in relationships at the same time and we just never saw each other in that way;  I basically called it Erica Badu’s, “Next lifetime.” I told my wife this almost 7 years ago.

Now, in those 7 years, a few “miscommunications” have happened, examples are 1.) 5 years ago my friend got drunk one day and called my phone at 1 am so that I could talk to her until she made it home, during the conversation she told me she loved me and that I was the perfect man. 2.) A few years ago we told each other that if we both were single at 33, then we would get married and my fiancé saw a text with that info. 3.) 5 years ago, because I asked her to do so, she spent a lot of money on tickets for my birthday to a stage play that I had been wanting to see for a long time;  my “girlfriend” flew in town unexpectedly to spend time with me and wanted me to miss the play. I went to the play and came right back home and spent the rest of the weekend with my girl.

My friend has been there for me through baby mamma drama, death of a child, and most other situations and has always been true; (heck, she was very instrumental in me sticking with the long distance relationship that lead to our marriage). Neither one of us has crossed any type of line. And, although she is very beautiful (the only person that looks better is my wife), it’s been so long that I just do not see her in a romantic way.

I’ve introduced them once and my wife is not really interested in doing it again. I cut back on the friendship out of respect for my then, girlfriend. And, when I lost my father, I forgot to tell my friend; when she found out she was very hurt because of how close we were. We became close all over again. I’m a loyal and trustworthy person and in 6 years of living in different states I have not once cheated on my “girlfriend;” Now she’s my wife.  My friend is the closest thing to a sister that I have and I don’t want to give that up. I truly value and love my wife, so  I don’t want to hide anything but if I’m going to get all types of attitude for attending an open house with my friend just to hang out then I might as well just not say anything at all. If something was going to happen between my friend and I, it would have happened by now.

I can’t force my wife to trust me, but what I can’t figure out is if you don’t trust me now, “Why did you marry me?”  Females swear all the time that platonic relationships can exist while guys (myself included) said the exact opposite; now I know we men were wrong. I really wonder if she wasn’t so attractive would this even be an issue. What do I do? – Trying To Stay True

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/561211/dear-bossip-before-we-got-married-i-told-my-wife-that-my-female-friend-logically-would-be-the-perfect-mate-for-me/ 

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I have not been in a serious relationship for the past 4 years.

Well, my best friend, who is a male, I tell him everything, including the people that I have had sexual relationships with. I started to develop feelings for one of the guys that I am currently in a sexual
relationship with. I told my best friend about him, and now me and the guy are dating.

Three weeks into us dating I had a conversation with my best friend telling him how good things are going with my the guy I’m dating, and then my best friend drops this bombshell on me saying that he is in love with me. I have no clue where to go from here because I do not have feelings for my best friend at all. I do not know how to express this to him without hurting his feeling. I am really feeling the guy that I am dating, and he said that I have to stop being friends with him because of how he feels. I do not want to lose my best friend, but I do not want to lose this guy either. What should I do? – Confused Lover

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/560765/dear-bossip-my-best-friend-told-me-that-he-is-in-love-with-me-but-i-dont-feel-the-same-way/#.T2tPrveeSKQ.facebook 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

My situation is this. I’m in love with my co-worker and have been for the past year. I am a very jealous person and don’t know how to control it. When he and I first met, it was at our job. It was an immediate attraction from day one, and everyday all day we would either be on the phone or texting each other.

A couple of months go by and we ended up sleeping together. He tells me that he is married and I almost wanted to cry because I felt lied to. He constantly tells me about how unhappy he is in his marriage so I try be a good friend, and just listen. Soon after that he tells me he needed to talk and his marriage is unraveled and he wants out.

He moves out of his place and moves in with me. He has gotten a divorce since then, but first started talking about how he wanted to be with me and wanting to marry me. He would tell me this while he was married, and it puzzled me that he would still find the time to text and call me. I asked how is that possible? I mean where is your wife while you’re on the phone with me?

We haven’t been sleeping together because I’m bothered about his being so secretive. He is always texting and now my feelings have got caught up and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m so unhappy because even though we aren’t sleeping together, our friendship is going down the drain because I sometimes act like I’m the girlfriend when I’m only his friend. We have both decided that being in a relationship isn’t healthy because I don’t trust him. My trust is because while he was married he was always texting me or hanging out with me. I don’t want to damage our friendship, but I am just wondering should I just call it quits and tell him to leave because I’ve been in tears wanting to be with him, but know it would never work out.

We are both going to school full-time and work full-time. I feel as though he is starting to talk to someone else because he seems to text all the time. I even talked to him about him texting because it bothers me. All I ask is that he gives me the same respect that I give him. He is sleeping in my bed and I’m not sleeping with anyone else so I just choose to be celibate. I can’t keep living like this and I don’t know how to get out of it. I’m in love and just want these feelings to go away. He tells me that I don’t have a right to ask him who he is texting because he pays his bills, and I know he is right but I wish I could find out.

I recently thought about downloading a program on his phone that will send all his text and calls to my email, but I feel like I’m way over the line. His pattern hasn’t changed with me and by that I mean he comes home at the same time and has never been late for work. Ugh! I feel so dumb. I respect all your thoughts on different situations but when you respond to me could you please not call me a bitch. I can deal with criticism but not disrespect thanks. – In Love With My Co-Worker

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-in-love-with-my-co-worker-but-after-he-moved-in-he-changed/

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I am a fellow reader, young 26-year old Puerto Rican girl.

I have been in a on again off again relationship with a 29-year old guy for almost 9 years now. We have 2 beautiful children, a 1 ½-year old boy and a soon to be 4 year old little girl.

Five years ago he cheated on me with a girl, and she got pregnant. Her son is 6 weeks older than our daughter! I moved out when I found out he had cheated, but for dumb reasons I continued to be intimate with him. We have lived together for 6 years out of the 9 years of being involved with each other. I truly do love this man but I feel like we are not going anywhere.

After he cheated on me I met a guy and we started dating, nothing sexual, just straight platonic. Back in august my baby daddy found out that me and that other guy were still communicating and sending each other pictures. My baby daddy blew a gasket and trips on me and questions me on everything I do. I never treated him this way when I found out he had cheated on me. I don’t understand why he can’t let it go. He should be lucky I didn’t have sex with the guy and gotten pregnant like he had did to me.

I have been thinking a lot about our so called relationship lately and I just don’t know what to do. He has never said I love you to me or even said that he cares about me, BUT he has shown it. I have told him that I just wanted some time alone to really think about what I want, because like I said it’s been almost 9 years and we’re not engaged, not titled as boyfriend and girlfriend, even though we live together and do everything as a couple, we don’t have that title. What should I do? My head is telling me one thing and my heart is telling me another. – Confused Baby Mama

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/560188/dear-bossip-weve-been-together-9-years-were-not-engaged-dont-have-the-title-of-boyfriendgirlfriend/#.T2oVisRnF1s.facebook 

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I want to know why I still harp on an ex who just left me, and didn’t say goodbye?

He was a major loser to begin with, but I still think about him from time to time. It makes me pissed off.

He is my first white dude, and he texted me, “Keep your hood ass on your hood block where you belong.” He texted me that during our last text war.  After reading that how could I forgive him because it sounded racist? Was that a racist comment? It still upsets me to this day. I have never been told anything so wicked before.

Mind you, he is an ex-felon, can’t find work, lazy, and has no friends. He lives in the Catskills. He baby sits his baby mom’s child from another man while her and her live in boyfriend go to work. WTF!!! Now that we’re not together they were probably still having sex. Maybe he did me a favor by not saying goodbye. I feel that he wanted out and was just looking for a reason. I was rejected by a bum.  After realizing that I went into “No Contact.” So, he doesn’t know how much I suffered. But I did. I suffered something horrible. – Still Harping

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/558811/dear-bossip-he-was-my-first-white-guy-but-when-it-ended-he-texted-me-keep-your-hood-a-on-your-hood-block/ 

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

First off, let me begin by saying thank you for reading my letter.

I have been married for 10 years to a wonderful guy. We both have great careers (he is a pastor and professor and I am a high school principal) I couldn’t be happier with our lives.
My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage whom I love as if she were my own. Recently, her mother (his ex wife) has come back into the picture. She was just released from jail and has no place to go. She has no family, friends, or money. What she does have is enormous love and respect from her daughter.

Long story short, my husband suggested that she move into our finished basement until she can get back on her feet. Reluctantly, I agreed but told him that she can only stay for 2 months. He told me this was the Christian thing to do. I regret every part of saying that now.

Lately, I have noticed that she is making passes at my husband (touching him on the shoulder, subtle glances etc). I told him about this and that I didn’t like it but he told me that I am overreacting and not to pay it any mind.

This is where it gets interesting. I allowed her to use our washer one day because she didn’t have money to wash her own clothes. In her basket I noticed my husband’s boxers. I dismissed it thinking that he thought it was our basket when putting his dirty clothes in the laundry room. However, my suspicions are getting stronger now because I noticed a pregnancy test in trash of the guest bath in the basement.

I confronted my husband about this and his alibi is that he was out of town. Which he was. He was out of town the same weekend his ex-wife “caught the Greyhound” to see her sick mother in a nursing home in Tennessee where she is from. Since I was under the impression that she had no family I’m very concerned, suspicious, and angry at the possibility of them sleeping together under my nose and conceiving a child. Am I being too suspicious or do you think I’m headed for divorce? – Christian In Crisis

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/556674/dear-bossip-my-husband-is-a-pastor-his-ex-wife-was-released-from-jail-i-agreed-to-let-her-move-in-with-us/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now. When we first met he was dressed really nice and looked really good, almost pretty. As we talked more and got to know each other he told me that he had a lot of friends that were girls. I told him don’t gay guys have a lot of girlfriends, and he did get upset for me saying that. But, he said he just got along better with them.

He does have a small group of male friends which I have meet and all hung out. When he’s with his guy friends they joke around and grab each other, and sometimes they touch places that shouldn’t be touched. He’s freely admitted that he’s touched another man’s penis and seemed proud of it.

He recently ran into an old best friend he had when he was a kid, and now they are glued to the hip. He would rather go hang out with him than see me, or we’d do something and his friend comes along or at least he gets an invite.

My boyfriend has told me that he and this friend have been real close in the past and that they have showered together, and he mentioned they’ve had sword fights with their privates. They also had a 3-some with a girl. All I know is that he seems like he worships the ground he walks on. I don’t know if it’s because they haven’t seen each other in a long time and that he’s making up for it. But, honestly I think he’s gay or bi. And, another thing, he always seems to mention or announce that he’s comfortable with his sexuality. Please let me understand. – Confused

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/my-boyfriend-told-me-hes-sword-fighted-showered-with-his-best-friend/

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

Hello! I love that you keep it sooooo real.


Let me start off by saying that I’ve known this guy for 13 years. We got together in 2007, and for the past 5 years we’ve been off and on. We have not been intimate since June 2011. We pretty much went our separate ways, and then he comes back in January and states that he wants to make it work. I agree and set my rules. He agrees to them, but the next day he gets locked up, so I break into his voicemail and found all types of messages from different girls. I contacted them all and had conference calls about the one guy that put all of us in the same situation. It turns out that he was cheating all along, and I was just the girl he cared about the most. And, I say that loosely. I then wrote him a nasty letter saying he’s going to rot in jail and I damn sure told him what I did and what was said…….LOL! Now, I feel bad because we were friends before anything, at least I thought we were. My question is should I still be there for him now that he’s in prison? I ignore his calls and everything, so what now? – Reconsidering

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/555373/dear-bossip-when-he-got-locked-up-i-learned-he-was-cheating-on-me-i-dont-know-if-i-should-be-there-for-him/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I appreciate hearing the male perspective on relationships and want to get your break-down of what women can expect from men in the first few months of dating.

Both people are feeling it out to see where it goes, but what behaviors tells a woman that a man is really interested as opposed to just stringing you along?

I’ve been seeing a guy for 2 months. Things were going well – we had mutual interest, respected each other’s space, and had good chemistry. We were taking it slow. But, things got slowed down and he said he didn’t have as much time for me. I got different advice from different girlfriends. Some thought I should just drop the relationship & move on. Others said I should give him some space and keep trying to keep things going on a simmer. I try to be understanding of his needs, but feel like if he’s not investing time, then he’s not invested in the relationship.

How long would you say is a good time to give this a chance? How do I know if he’s not just playing me? And from a man’s perspective, what does it look like when a guy IS interested? – Frustrated

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/554261/dear-bossip-after-2-months-of-dating-he-said-he-didnt-have-time-for-me-should-i-still-give-this-a-chance/#.T1oPAOc5lj0.facebook 

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I’ve been in a serious relationship for about 2 years. When I met my boyfriend it was a friends-with-benefits relationship.


While this went on we really got to know each other and I developed feelings as did he. When we talked about it we decided to formally start dating. I would later find out that throughout all that time, and 6 months into dating, that he was legally married to his baby’s mother. This is the same person that would call me private and harass me.

When I confronted him about it he didn’t even admit it. Finally, we talked and I forgave him. Now, here are 2 years later and he says he wants a divorce because he wants us to get married. When I heard this I was happy but terrified at the same time. Don’t get me wrong I do want to get married with kids one day but I have too many goals to accomplish before that. Also, there’s a problem that I have; I’ve never met or even seen any of his kids. He told me at the start of the relationship that he made a deal with his baby momma that they wouldn’t introduce the kids to new spouses. I agreed since I have no kids of my own and very little experience dealing with them. I felt it was for the best.

Now, since really thinking about marriage, I want to be involved with the kids but the times I’ve tried to bring it up he doesn’t want to hear it and ends the subject. Am I wrong for wanting to be involved although I initially agreed I wouldn’t be? If so, what can I do to make it work? – Ms. Trying To Make It Work

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/553373/dear-bossip-we-started-as-friends-with-benefits-but-i-learned-hes-married-now-hes-talking-marrying-me/ 

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

In August of 2011, I went to a club with my girlfriends and as the night progressed my eyes locked eyes with this guy across the dance floor. We spoke and exchanged numbers and I also noticed he had a thick accent. So, I asked how long he was in Jamaica for and he said he was leaving the Sunday (it was Wednesday). His friends and my friends spent the rest of our time in the club dancing and enjoying the music.

The following day he invited me to dinner and I learned a little about his background and that he is also Jamaican but he migrated at a young age.  He said he was 40-years old (8 years my senior), single and have no kids and he lives alone. He asked if I could spend the rest of his time in Jamaica with him and I said no because I had previous plans (trip to the country to visit my friend’s grandmother who was not doing so well health wise). On the way home he gave me his contact info for the states (work address and home address and numbers) and he promised to stay in touch.

We communicated every day by phone and bbm until October 2011 when he came out to surprise me at my office. I was so happy because I was beginning to like him and he seemed more mature and conscious in his thinking. We spent a week together and he went home, and my issue now is that he met me single and I haven’t been with anyone since meeting him in August. He had said he is not really the texting type, but he will talk on the phone but sometimes I would text in the morning and he would not answer until later that night. He works in construction and I get that the job can be hectic, and when he gets home he falls asleep, but the conversations have gotten less frequent. He has gone a weekend without saying anything and resurfaced saying he went to a funeral and his phone had no signal on it.

Otherwise from that, he has been there when I needed a listening ear. He calls and asks about my mom. He asked how things are in Jamaica, and he shows concern about me in general, but he just seems so distant. I know long distant relationships are the work of the devil. I don’t know if he will be coming back to Jamaica, but do you think I’m reading too much into his actions? – Island Girl Left Afloat

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/we-met-in-jamaica-but-now-that-hes-back-in-the-u-s-he-seems-so-distant/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

Hi! I am in need of some advice about my “friend.” Let’s call her ‘Tee Tee.’

She and I have been best friends for almost 18 years, or at least I thought. She has been married for almost ten years while I got married six months ago. She is unfaithful and sleeps with both men and women. I personally think it’s nasty.

She calls and texts me about how she hates her husband; mind you they have 4 kids. Now, because her children are my God-children I started bringing them to church on Wednesday nights. It was okay, at first, even though it meant I had to drive an extra hour per trip. Her and her husband both work.

I later found out that most Wednesdays they are both off. So, one week my husband drove my car and I couldn’t find his keys so I told him to pick me up for church. I called Tee Tee and told her I couldn’t make it and asked her to drop the kids off for me. She didn’t. The next week I just didn’t feel like all the driving so I asked again. She was still a no show. I want them to come, but I also work and I just found out I’m pregnant.

I started looking at our friendship and I can honestly say I am more of a friend to her than she is to me. I don’t want to let the kids down but I’m tired! Thanks in advance (BTW) your words are golden.  – Ms. Friend Of Hers

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/550873/dear-bossip-weve-been-friends-for-18-years-but-im-tired-of-being-more-of-a-friend-to-her/