Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I’m going to get right to the point, Hun!

I met this guy while at work a couple of weeks ago. After helping him with his retail related needs, we began to chat. He told me he was married for 11 years and divorced for one year, had a successful auto wholesale business, three children, etc. He eventually asked me out. I thought he was handsome, well-spoken, well-mannered, and well-dressed so I allowed him to take me to dinner.

After a few dates we really seemed to hit it off. So, instead of plunging in head first I prayed and asked the Lord to show me what purpose this person would serve in my life. After my prayer, I got the urge to ‘Google’ him.

During my search I found out that was actually married twice, there were several complaints listed online from customers he swindled or tried to swindle in various ways! On top of that, this knee-grow has accumulated 15 various misdemeanors AND felonies from 1997 to 2010!!!

I immediately hit him with the, “I’m not over my ex,” line and told him that I could no longer see him. My line was clearly ineffective as he will not stop calling and texting me! When I ignore his attempts at communication he shows up at my job!

My friends say that I should just tell him that I know he’s a crook, but I’m kinda scared! What should I do to get him to leave me alone?

P.S.- For the record, I have not given him even the slightest whiff of the cookie! I’m a lady! – Doesn’t Want To Be His Next Felony

You can read my response, HERE:
http://bossip.com/532824/dear-bossip-i-prayed-before-plunging-further-with-him-i-learned-he-is-a-con-man-with-multiple-felonies/

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I have been divorced for the past four and a half years.

I really hate my ex-husband, but have been using poor judgment and still sleeping with him since I lost my job. I have no income besides the child support he pays for our three children. But, he says I sex him so good that he will give me extra money if I have sex with him, which I foolishly have done.

One of my New Year resolutions was to stop having sex with him, money or no money. Now I had a suspicion that I was pregnant, and I took the test and it came back positive. I tried telling him but he is being rude and nasty because I reject his many requests and propositions for sex. I would not have a problem keeping this child but I am currently not in an ideal situation for another one. I have no job, no car, I recently lost my home, and my family and I had to move in with family. And before you go there, yes, protection was used. If it broke he lied or didn’t let me know. What do you think I should do? – Feeling Foolish And Lost

You can read my response, HERE:
http://bossip.com/531481/dear-bossip-ive-been-sleeping-with-my-ex-husband-to-get-more-child-support-money-now-im-pregnant/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I recently read the article entitled, “He says he’s unhappy, but I can’t let him go, he’s my world.”

I’m struggling with what I fear is a similar issue. My boyfriend of two years says he loves me and wants to marry me and have children, but every time we discuss marriage he brings up problems and says he’s not happy. Finally, I put my foot down and gave the ultimatum, “now or never.” He chose never.

After discussing his choice he recanted and decided we should go to couples counseling. He is a good man and we are happy as long as we don’t discuss marriage. But, I want to be married and have another child! I have a son from a previous marriage and he treats my son like his own, worse my son is completely attached to him and when we temporarily broke things off my young son was in tears for days. We do have our problems, but everyone does. I don’t want to walk away because we have formed a family. I love him and he’s the only father my son knows, however I feel like I’m cheating myself out of the things I really want in life.

I’m too damn old to be somebody’s girlfriend! And my eggs are getting old too! I truly love him, but how do I know that he will EVER be ready to make a lifelong commitment. His longest relationship before me was 6 months and he is well over thirty years old. Do some men just never settle down? – Waiting To Be Married

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-gave-him-the-ultimatum-of-now-or-never-for-marriage-he-said-never/

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

First, I would like to start off by saying I do love this website.

I really like the fact that you do offer advice whether some of us are in a real relationship, or some of us are not. I love it.

Moving forward, I wanna start off by saying I am a 23 year old black female who have a serious problem. I never truly thought about it until now, but I am Pam (you know from the TV show, Martin). For example, I have been seeing a guy for about two months. We’ve been having fun, but then out of thin air he disappears. We haven’t had an argument or anything. But, New Year’s rolls around and I heard absolutely nothing from him and we were supposed to spend New Year’s Eve together, but of course we didn’t.

Needless to say I’ve been calling and texting him, but still no reply not even a sorry or excuse me…nothing! And, to make matters worse is that he will answer calls from a different number but just not mine, and he lives like five minutes away from me .

The sex was always good, but now I’m just running out of reasons he could have left me the way he did. Maybe it was out with the old and in with the new. But, damn, he could have given me a valid reason for the cut off! I don’t think I’m in denial. Like, no matter how many guys ask me for my number on a daily basis I just can’t, and I don’t wanna feel this feeling again. So, I always reply, “No, I got a boyfriend,” when actually I don’t. I’ve given up on being in love at only 23years old and refuse to look back. – Over Love

You can read my response, HERE:
http://bossip.com/530947/dear-bossip-after-2-months-of-dating-he-disappears-wont-return-my-calls-or-texts/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I have been involved with my husband for the past 14 years and married to him for the past ten years.

We have a beautiful family of 4 children and we attend church regularly. He is an avid drug user and has been using for the entire time that I have known him, so I am not surprised to have the problems that I do. All these years I have done all the taking care of expenses in the home. My husband has always had a job and made good money, but most of it would goes toward the addiction. My paychecks would keep the home running smoothly. Another issue is that all these years I have been in school, so this past May I finally graduated with my degree in Accounting.

The main problem is this: His behavior no longer fits into my new life as a young black professional. What do I do? I am tired of his excuses, and now his addiction has grown significantly worse. He used to go and get high every few months, but now it is daily. He never does drugs in our home, nor does his alternative lifestyle ever come in view of our family. When he is not on drugs he is the most caring, loyal, provider you will ever want to meet. What do I do? – I’m Not Your Superwoman

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/529399/dear-bossip-ive-been-married-to-a-drug-addict-for-14-years-but-he-no-longer-fits-into-my-new-life/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I’m kind of hoping you can and will help me out. I’m a 23 year- old virgin and have been single for 8 years. I consider myself to be attractive and I have my life together while always trying to improve myself. Everyone always assumes I have boyfriend but alas, I don’t. I’ve gone on a few dates in those 8 years but nothing has ever come from them.

One date consisted of me and the guy going to a Chinese restaurant ending in him trying to guess my breast size and challenging me to an arm wrestling competition. Then he acted like he didn’t know why he was still single…yeah, I stopped seeing him post haste.

Then there’s a guy who’s a musician that comes around every blue moon who’s spontaneous and exciting but I can’t take him seriously. He says he’s attracted to me and wants to pursue things but he’s never in the same city because he’s constantly on tour. Also, if he does text me I’ll respond and he won’t say anything else. He’ll say something like, “Good morning beautiful,” and I’ll say, “Hey ________,” and I won’t hear anything else which frustrates the hell out of me. These instances are sporadic and months or even years apart. He’s a little odd.

Recently, I met a guy at work and we went out a couple of times but the last time we were on a date there weren’t any sparks at all and he never clearly defined his intentions. He wasn’t the least bit direct like I’m used to and left me completely confused. Also, I’m not sure if he remembers my name cause I’ve never heard him say it or seen him text it. I expect a guy to take the initiative and I think it just boiled down to there not being enough chemistry so I haven’t seen or communicated with him since that date. It’s disappointing because I don’t meet a lot of guys who I’m attracted to and who are single and interested in me at the same time.

I guess my question is, what am I doing wrong here, or is there something I need to do differently? I’m not the most social person, but I do go to different places just to keep from going to work then back home. I’m active in my church and even though I’m not much of a club person I’ll go once in a while just to have a change of scenery or just to have fun. The usual demographic for guys that hit on me are men who are 20+ years older than me, or guys my age who ain’t about -ish. I’d rather have someone no more than 3-4 years older than me. Maybe I’m not direct enough because I’m a little shy, but I feel like a man should pursue a woman. Besides, the last time I pursued a man it ended up in the Chinese restaurant incident. I’m not in any rush to lose my virginity by the way. I just want to meet someone that challenges me and who I can really vibe with. Where is he?? (Age old question) Any suggestion would be helpful. – Over Being Single

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-a-virgin-who-wants-to-meet-someone-challenging-intriguing-where-is-he/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I’m a 22 year old female and I have an 8-month old baby by a liar.


I met him last year in July and he told me that he had a little girl. Okay, that’s fine. When I became 6 months pregnant he went to jail. I didn’t know he went to jail I just figured he just stopped coming around.

So, when I was 7 months pregnant I contacted the girl name he had tatted on him thinking she was the mother of the daughter he told me about. But, this woman has two sons by him. So, we started talking via Facebook. She then tells me she has a 5 year old son and a 2 month old son (this is while I’m 7 months pregnant, so yeah we were pregnant at the same time). And, the reason they are not together is because he lied about his kids. She tells me he has 11 kids. I didn’t know what to think or believe.

So, he gets out of jail and my baby is 3 months old. I bring to his attention that I know how he has been lying to me from day one. He really never said anything about it. I leave it alone because I was focused on my child. So, we get a place together and it has been nothing but drama. He lies to me, went behind my back and spent $1000 of mine, and he still talks to the baby momma that told me all the things about him.

I really want him to leave, but nothing works. I don’t want to get the police involved because he is my baby’s father and I don’t want to lose my apartment. Things have gotten so out of control now all we do is argue and fight (he actual put his hands one). And, most of the time it’s in front of my child. It hurts me so much afterwards that she has to see that he constantly hurts me, but he is sorry, and me and the baby is all he got. I do love him, but I see no future with him. I feel so stuck and alone to the point I don’t know what to do. Please give me some advice and be totally honest with me. Hurt And Confused

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/526785/dear-bossip-my-babys-father-told-me-he-had-one-other-child-but-it-turns-out-he-has-eleven/

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I am a young mother of three. Unfortunately, my children’s father and I are not together.


The guy I’m dating I’ve know for about 7 years now. We’ve been just friends for the last 5 years. Shortly after we met in 2006, he moved to Florida. We stayed in touch and he became one of my best friends. We wouldn’t talk every single day, but whenever we did talk we spoke about any and everything. He knows things about me that no one else knows. While he was in Florida he got married. At first he stated his marriage was solely to get his “papers” because he was an immigrant. As time passed he and the young lady dated and fell in love. So, now they are married for love, “supposedly.”

Fast forward….they’ve now been married a couple of years and we are still in touch. He finally got around to filing for his stuff and now has his “stuff.” The relationship started to wither between the two of them, and after having enough he decided to move back to New York.

Upon him moving back to New York we started talking a little more than before. I was single and while he was still legally married, he was “single” as well. It wasn’t long before we started dating. But, what was once never an issue for me is now becoming my very harsh reality. He says he is still legally married because he hasn’t yet filed for his citizenship (he only has green card status), and as soon as he completes that then he will get a divorce. He lives in his “wife’s” parent’s home in New York and she (the wife) pops in and out of New York without my knowledge of her ever being here.

It is now almost two years and absolutely no change has been made. We’re still dating and I use the term “dating” very loosely, for we only go out if I ask him to accompany me to the movies or dinner or something and I foot the bill. It has been many nights he’s unreachable without any reason at all, besides maybe he fell asleep or he forgot his phone in his car.

He doesn’t want to get married again and he doesn’t wants to have kids with me. So he’s still legally married, living in his “in-laws” house and no signs of anything changing, anytime soon. I want more. I want to get married because I’ve never been before. I also would like to have more kids because I never had a great experience being pregnant. Am I being naive? Am I wrong because I knew of his situation before our relationship got personal? Should I walk away or stick around and see if things are going to change once he gets his citizenship in order?? – Ms. Confused 

You can read my response, HERE:
http://bossip.com/524109/dear-bossip-he-married-her-to-get-his-green-card-but-i-want-to-marry-him-have-his-babies/

Today is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

I have been dating consistently for the last six and a half years.

We live together, share finances, raise children, laugh and cry together. He has been there for me, and he has helped me raise the children. When my mother became ill, he helped me care for her. I have met his parents and extended family. We even vacationed at his grandmother’s home this last summer, and most recently we did a four-day weekend.

When asked about children, he has zero. I have one biological and two adopted. He wants them. He has assured me that he does these things because he knows his future is with me. He is one of the most caring and genuine people I know. All who encounter him says so. Recently, he said the kids and I give him reason and direction for his life. Given all these things NO RING! What’s the deal? Why hasn’t he asked my hand in marriage? – Want To Be His Wife

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.com/522851/dear-bossip-weve-been-together-6-12-years-live-together-share-finances-but-why-wont-he-marry-me/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Bossip...

Dear Bossip,

About a month ago, I went out with friends while my girlfriend stayed home.

She drank with family, and a family friend who is a friend of mine. They proceeded to drink the whole night. My girlfriend fell asleep as she normally does when she drinks too much. The issue that I’m having is that when I came home he was cuddled up next to her, and passed out under the covers with her. I wake her up and she is in shock that he is next to her. He gets up and leaves the next day. He comes back to apologize to her while I’m at work. My girlfriend says it’s cool and that she told him that she knows he didn’t mean anything by it. He waited two weeks to confront me, and he uses the, “I’m embarrassed excuse.”

Ever since then, me and him grew distant, yet it seems like whenever I’m not around they hang out. My girlfriend knows it makes me uncomfortable but he is a family friend, so there is no avoiding him. I just know that when I’m there he isn’t, but once I leave he texts her asking what she is doing, can they hangout, drink, etc.

I trust my girlfriend, and I know she doesn’t mess with dudes, but it’s him I’m worried about. Why if she fell asleep did he stay in her house, in her room, then say he passed out, yet he looked pretty comfy under the covers as if he made an effort to get comfortable before passing out? I know when I get faded I bounce from other people’s cribs. I don’t crawl in bed with them!  Gimme advice and let me know what you think his intentions are and what should I do. Please help Bossip! – Leery Of My Girl’s Friend

You can read my response, HERE: 
http://bossip.wordpress.com/521585/dear-bossip-i-think-my-girls-male-friend-is-up-to-something-has-an-ulterior-motive/