Monday, February 27, 2012
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day With Hello Beautiful...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am writing you this letter because I respect your honesty. I got involved with a guy in November of last year, seven months after leaving my physically abusive ex of twelve years. He invited me over, and we spent time together several times without having any sexual contact. Two months into the “friendship” he started asking me to loan him money. TO be brief, he paid me back the money that he borrowed just like he said he would.
Six months into it, he asked me to loan him $2,000, and I did out of my taxes (I got back 11 grand) and, because he paid me back over $1,000 that he borrowed from me previously. After he gets this money from me, he then tells me that he wants to be to himself two days later. I asked him why in the hell would he ask me for money then all of a sudden want to be alone. He claims that he was going through some things. Whatever. Anyhow, he had promised to repay me the money in monthly payment of $100, and only gave me one payment. He claimed that his mother spent his money that was in his account, and that he could not pay me back as we agreed. He promised to have a payment in two weeks, and to call him then. Unbeknownst to me, he had filed three police reports claiming that I had harassed him for months, and that he didn’t owe me any money. I was served with a restraining order, and he was granted one for six months.
I sued him in civil court because even though we had no promissory note, I had 10 recent text messages of him owing me the money and promising to repay it. I subpoena his mother as my witness, because I knew from the beginning that his story was BS. She testified under oath that she had no knowledge of me or my money. This old woman straight up lied! The betrayal that I felt, on top of the heartbreak, intensified. I realized that he had set out from the beginning to use me, and he lied to me when he could’ve been honest. That’s all I ever asked, and he knew that I cared deeply for him. So, I’m still in litigation, but he knew that I needed this money back. He knew that I was a single mom with two daughters. So, he didn’t just take that from me, he took from my kids too. I was good to him, compassionate when he cried on my shoulders, and I try to be the best person I can be to all of my friends, family and associates. I did nothing for him that I wouldn’t do for anyone else.
I used to be extremely selfish, and now I went from being too selfish to being too free-hearted. I allowed someone to see the good in me, and take advantage of it. I feel so stupid and I take responsibility for even loaning the money. It’s the betrayal that hurt most, the lies, the restraining order he lied on me in, when all I did was be good to him. How can someone be so heartless and cruel? No conscience. I go to church, I work hard for my tax money, I don’t lie, manipulate or use people. He had given me money to and bought me things, so all of this caught me off guard. Again, this was his plan, his trap for me. I met his representative; the real him came out much later.
I went through a severe depression, and even now, I’m still trying to put myself back together. I want his mom to be in court for the trial, so she can see how he did me. I’m really hoping that she make him realize how wrong he is, because she is the only woman he cares anything about. He has a daughter, and I told him that I’m someone’s daughter too. So, I guess that I’m just asking how to get over the betrayal. I see now that I got involved too soon after the 12 years with my ex, so men are a no-no for a long time. No sex, no friends, no nothing. I see why he’s been single all these years, and for him to be a FED-EX manager for 13 years, why use me for money? I’m ready for the lashing, but I just want him to understand how wrong he is, and how he really wounded me. I want someone to hurt him like that too, so he can see how that -ish feels. Maybe then he will realize how he hurt me, and all the other women he took advantage of. Because I know I’m not the first one. – He Took From Me
You can read my response, HERE: