Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am a 29 years old female and I have been dating my new boyfriend for a year. We met in November of 2009 and we officially became a couple in February 2010. Before we were “official” he gave me a key to his house, I met his friends and he told his parents about me (they live in another state). He is 28 years old and our relationship is really good. We enjoy the same things, he is supportive of my goals, he is sweet and he is God-fearing. I love him, I feel like he is the “one” and I feel really comfortable and happy being with him.
He recently told me he loves me, but he is not sure if he is “in love” with me. When he told me that, I was upset and hurt and told him we need to put some space and distance between us.
During that time, he was texting me, calling me and he even unexpectedly popped up at my house. His actions show me that he is in love, but I am still hurt by what he said. Is it too soon to be in love? Am I over reacting? Should I continue to date him and see what happens? Or should I break up with him and save myself from any more hurt?
I am also confused because he tells me all the time how he is happy to be with me and I am the only one for him. During our separation period he told me he had a dream that we were married. I asked him would he like for us to break up or date other people and he said no, not at all. He wants to stay together and build on our relationship.
What should I do? Should I keep it moving or stay and see what happens? – Do I Stay
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-love-him-feel-hes-the-one-but-he-told-me-hes-not-in-love-with-me/
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I was dating this man who is 10 years older than me. Things started off great. I really believed that this man would be the reason for me to give marriage another try. He is retired from the military but goes overseas on contract to train soldiers, so I only see him every 6-9 months. Early in our relationship, he did some really stupid things, like tell me he was seeing someone else to see how I would react. Bipolar stuff, right? But, after much begging, I took him back with the promise that he would not make me regret taking him back. One thing about me is that I don’t go backwards. This was the first time I ever did so.
So, after I took him back things seemed to be back on track. My children met him and really got attached to him. Another thing about me is that I don’t believe in bringing everyone around my children, so that was a very important step. We went on vacation together and he really enjoyed my children. He doesn’t have any of his own but was married twice, both of which ended in divorce. Long story short, I became pregnant and we were both really happy. He sat down and talked to my children and told them he wanted to marry me and become part of our family. I started to make plans for the wedding, then things started to change.
He is very close to his father and his father began putting ideas in his head like the baby might not be his and that I got pregnant to trap him. My oldest child is 11 and my youngest is 7. Why would I arbitrarily wait 7 years to have another child? I know there are some like that, but I am not one of them. Because of all the arguments and stress he was putting me under by questioning my integrity, I lost the baby and he disappeared. Said he needed time alone. At that point I completely wrote him off but we tried to remain friends.
He came back from overseas on leave a few weeks ago and we spent time together. He came out with me for my birthday and got into a “deep discussion” about me with my cousin. He told her he knew he messed up and that he wanted to make things right for me and the kids and that he still wanted to be part of my life. When I asked him about the conversation (he told me to ask my cousin what was said rather than him telling me himself), he said he didn’t know what I was talking about and that she must have misunderstood. He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship again and that was that. I walked away and he went back overseas. Now he is texting and leaving me messages about how much he misses me and should have done things differently. Should I just leave his bipolar behind alone
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-keeps-coming-going-in-out-of-my-life-now-he-wants-back/
I was dating this man who is 10 years older than me. Things started off great. I really believed that this man would be the reason for me to give marriage another try. He is retired from the military but goes overseas on contract to train soldiers, so I only see him every 6-9 months. Early in our relationship, he did some really stupid things, like tell me he was seeing someone else to see how I would react. Bipolar stuff, right? But, after much begging, I took him back with the promise that he would not make me regret taking him back. One thing about me is that I don’t go backwards. This was the first time I ever did so.
So, after I took him back things seemed to be back on track. My children met him and really got attached to him. Another thing about me is that I don’t believe in bringing everyone around my children, so that was a very important step. We went on vacation together and he really enjoyed my children. He doesn’t have any of his own but was married twice, both of which ended in divorce. Long story short, I became pregnant and we were both really happy. He sat down and talked to my children and told them he wanted to marry me and become part of our family. I started to make plans for the wedding, then things started to change.
He is very close to his father and his father began putting ideas in his head like the baby might not be his and that I got pregnant to trap him. My oldest child is 11 and my youngest is 7. Why would I arbitrarily wait 7 years to have another child? I know there are some like that, but I am not one of them. Because of all the arguments and stress he was putting me under by questioning my integrity, I lost the baby and he disappeared. Said he needed time alone. At that point I completely wrote him off but we tried to remain friends.
He came back from overseas on leave a few weeks ago and we spent time together. He came out with me for my birthday and got into a “deep discussion” about me with my cousin. He told her he knew he messed up and that he wanted to make things right for me and the kids and that he still wanted to be part of my life. When I asked him about the conversation (he told me to ask my cousin what was said rather than him telling me himself), he said he didn’t know what I was talking about and that she must have misunderstood. He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship again and that was that. I walked away and he went back overseas. Now he is texting and leaving me messages about how much he misses me and should have done things differently. Should I just leave his bipolar behind alone
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-keeps-coming-going-in-out-of-my-life-now-he-wants-back/
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am 18 years old and I have a thing for older men, and I was surfing on Black Planet for an older guy to get to know. I found this guy that I talked to for like three or four weeks while I was away at college and we agreed to start dating when I transferred to a school back at home. So, the day finally came for our date and he took me to his brother’s house because his brother was at work and we would be alone. We chilled for about four hours then ended up having sex.
We stopped when his brother came home and he introduced me to him. His brother was totally opposite from him and he and I connected right away. So, my date sat and watched me and his brother hit it off. I wasn’t interested in his brother or anything, even though he was a great catch. Better than my date really.
I expressed to them both then that I didn’t want to go home smelling like sex around my stepdad, so my date’s brother suggested that I shower there. So, I go and take a shower and then put my bra and panties on. I just started losing weight and it flatters my body very well. So, I started buying sexy bras and panties and throwing out anything that doesn’t look sexy. So, all I had was sexy underwear. Basically, I looked good and I knew it. There was a big mirror in the bathroom so I stood in front of it and admired myself in my bra and panties. Thinking I was done in the bathroom my date’s brother comes in with just a towel around his waist ready to take a shower. We just stood there looking at every inch of each other not saying anything. He then calmly said he was sorry and walked back out. I liked what I saw. But, being a nice girl I kept my interests just in my date. My date and his brother dropped me off at my house when I was ready later that day.
While I was getting ready for bed I get a text from my date saying I was a smut, and he doesn’t like smuts, and he didn’t like the fact me and his brother hit it off so well, and that his brother can have me and he is giving my number to him. I was pissed and said I didn’t want to talk to his brother because his brother had a girlfriend. His brother texted me saying he was leaving his girlfriend and he would like to get to know me. We have been talking ever since. And, I caught very hard feelings for him. He’s smart, has a very good job, nice car, no kids, has his master’s degree, has good conversation, and has a sexy body. An all out great catch. And, he has been supporting me going to school, paying two hundred dollars for my registration fee and application fee, writing my application essay, giving me money here and there, buying my supplies for school, etc. I like a man that supports me and wants to help me.
I am ready to make us official. I am ready to take him home to mom and everything. There is a big age difference between us though. He’s 32 years old and I am 18 years old. But, he is not the oldest guy I have talked to. Anyway, the problem I am having is the fact that he keeps saying he is leaving the girl he is living with and that they broke up, but he has nowhere to live, so he is moving back in with his grandmother. He has me sneaking over when the girl isn’t home, and out the door before she comes home. I didn’t believe him until I started noticing his things packed and missing from out of the house.
So, I started thinking ok, now we can just work on us. But, the night before Valentine’s Day I told him I was coming to spend the night Monday and leave from his house to go to school in the morning, and he said ok. So, Valentine’s Day night I called him and asked if he was still coming for me or if I should just stay on campus for the night, which would have been fine because they were having a party at the school. He said he had a headache and he then said something else but I didn’t catch it because of all the people being loud around me and he hung up. I tried calling him three times to see what he said but he didn’t answer, so I texted him twice and still he didn’t answer so I waited an hour to call him again. When I finally got to him he had an attitude and said he already told me he was on his way and I told him I didn’t hear him.
He called saying he was outside and when I got in the car we started arguing. He said the girl was calling up his phone and it was all my fault, and that I basically made him come get me. I told him that he was a grown ass man and that he didn’t have to listen to me and he could have just told me no and I would have been fine. We argued until we got to his house and the girl was still calling up his phone. He then asks me what should he tell her. What excuse should he give her because he said he talked to her before he came and got me and told her he was going to bed. I didn’t have an answer for him because I was too busy crying. He said he had to call her and they were going to argue and it was my fault. So, while he called her I listened from the bathroom and it didn’t seem like they were arguing, in fact it sounded like he was laughing! We then got in the bed after he was done. I turned away from him of course, and he was suddenly back to his old self. He wasn’t pissed anymore or anything. And, suddenly his headache was gone.
The next day I spent it replaying what had happened in my mind and I realized: If he broke up with her why does she need to know where he is and what he is doing? And why is it taking him so long to move his limited things from out of that house? Am I just being used as his young side girl? Or, is he telling the truth and really is trying to leave? Or, am I just being used for sex? I asked him one day if he was having sex with her while he was messing with me and he confirmed he did twice that week that I asked him. What should I do? Should I stick it out and just stay with him or should I leave? – Confused Young Girl
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-may-be-18-years-old-and-love-older-men-but-i-think-hes-playing-games/
I am 18 years old and I have a thing for older men, and I was surfing on Black Planet for an older guy to get to know. I found this guy that I talked to for like three or four weeks while I was away at college and we agreed to start dating when I transferred to a school back at home. So, the day finally came for our date and he took me to his brother’s house because his brother was at work and we would be alone. We chilled for about four hours then ended up having sex.
We stopped when his brother came home and he introduced me to him. His brother was totally opposite from him and he and I connected right away. So, my date sat and watched me and his brother hit it off. I wasn’t interested in his brother or anything, even though he was a great catch. Better than my date really.
I expressed to them both then that I didn’t want to go home smelling like sex around my stepdad, so my date’s brother suggested that I shower there. So, I go and take a shower and then put my bra and panties on. I just started losing weight and it flatters my body very well. So, I started buying sexy bras and panties and throwing out anything that doesn’t look sexy. So, all I had was sexy underwear. Basically, I looked good and I knew it. There was a big mirror in the bathroom so I stood in front of it and admired myself in my bra and panties. Thinking I was done in the bathroom my date’s brother comes in with just a towel around his waist ready to take a shower. We just stood there looking at every inch of each other not saying anything. He then calmly said he was sorry and walked back out. I liked what I saw. But, being a nice girl I kept my interests just in my date. My date and his brother dropped me off at my house when I was ready later that day.
While I was getting ready for bed I get a text from my date saying I was a smut, and he doesn’t like smuts, and he didn’t like the fact me and his brother hit it off so well, and that his brother can have me and he is giving my number to him. I was pissed and said I didn’t want to talk to his brother because his brother had a girlfriend. His brother texted me saying he was leaving his girlfriend and he would like to get to know me. We have been talking ever since. And, I caught very hard feelings for him. He’s smart, has a very good job, nice car, no kids, has his master’s degree, has good conversation, and has a sexy body. An all out great catch. And, he has been supporting me going to school, paying two hundred dollars for my registration fee and application fee, writing my application essay, giving me money here and there, buying my supplies for school, etc. I like a man that supports me and wants to help me.
I am ready to make us official. I am ready to take him home to mom and everything. There is a big age difference between us though. He’s 32 years old and I am 18 years old. But, he is not the oldest guy I have talked to. Anyway, the problem I am having is the fact that he keeps saying he is leaving the girl he is living with and that they broke up, but he has nowhere to live, so he is moving back in with his grandmother. He has me sneaking over when the girl isn’t home, and out the door before she comes home. I didn’t believe him until I started noticing his things packed and missing from out of the house.
So, I started thinking ok, now we can just work on us. But, the night before Valentine’s Day I told him I was coming to spend the night Monday and leave from his house to go to school in the morning, and he said ok. So, Valentine’s Day night I called him and asked if he was still coming for me or if I should just stay on campus for the night, which would have been fine because they were having a party at the school. He said he had a headache and he then said something else but I didn’t catch it because of all the people being loud around me and he hung up. I tried calling him three times to see what he said but he didn’t answer, so I texted him twice and still he didn’t answer so I waited an hour to call him again. When I finally got to him he had an attitude and said he already told me he was on his way and I told him I didn’t hear him.
He called saying he was outside and when I got in the car we started arguing. He said the girl was calling up his phone and it was all my fault, and that I basically made him come get me. I told him that he was a grown ass man and that he didn’t have to listen to me and he could have just told me no and I would have been fine. We argued until we got to his house and the girl was still calling up his phone. He then asks me what should he tell her. What excuse should he give her because he said he talked to her before he came and got me and told her he was going to bed. I didn’t have an answer for him because I was too busy crying. He said he had to call her and they were going to argue and it was my fault. So, while he called her I listened from the bathroom and it didn’t seem like they were arguing, in fact it sounded like he was laughing! We then got in the bed after he was done. I turned away from him of course, and he was suddenly back to his old self. He wasn’t pissed anymore or anything. And, suddenly his headache was gone.
The next day I spent it replaying what had happened in my mind and I realized: If he broke up with her why does she need to know where he is and what he is doing? And why is it taking him so long to move his limited things from out of that house? Am I just being used as his young side girl? Or, is he telling the truth and really is trying to leave? Or, am I just being used for sex? I asked him one day if he was having sex with her while he was messing with me and he confirmed he did twice that week that I asked him. What should I do? Should I stick it out and just stay with him or should I leave? – Confused Young Girl
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-may-be-18-years-old-and-love-older-men-but-i-think-hes-playing-games/
Monday, March 28, 2011
Check Out The Story I Wrote For JUICY Magazine Celebrating The 20-Year Anniversary of E. Lynn Harris's Novel, "Invisible Life"
I still can't believe it. My late friend, E. Lynn Harris is no longer here. The man who changed the literary world and scene, and got the Black community talking about down low and gay men. Yes, E. Lynn was the man who put a face to so many Black gay men struggling with their sexuality.
I bet a lot of you didn't know it was 20 years ago that E. Lynn broke onto the scene with his literary debut, INVISIBLE LIFE. Yes, that book changed the lives of so many down low and gay men, and I was one of them.
That's why I'm so excited. I got the latest issue of JUICY Magazine, and in it is the piece I did for my late friend and mentor, E. Lynn Harris. The editors called me and asked me to write a piece on E. Lynn, and without hesitation I told them that I would. We are celebrating the 20-Year Anniversary of his groundbreaking novel, INVISIBLE LIFE. We're paying homage to his works and legacy.
I hope you will get your copy of JUICY Magazine and check out the piece I did. It truly is amazing that someone who had a vision, believed in himself, and was unafraid to tell "his" story made the world take notice of so many of us who were afraid to be seen. With his trailblazing vision it makes it possible for persons such as myself to write books, tell "our" stories, and live in my truth.
Make sure to pick up the new issue of JUICY Magazine and let me know what you think of the piece. I would love to get your feedback. And, thank you for continued love and support.
Terrance Dean
Friday, March 25, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I’ve been following your column for about 2 months now… And I must say I like the way you address issues albeit comical and a lil bit rebuking.
I’m a Nigerian and based in Nigeria. I’ve been involved in an online relationship with a lady I met on Facebook.. She’s based in South Carolina. She and I have been have been in this online relationship for 10 months now. We plan on seeing in August this year when I hopefully come to the States. I’m 25-years old and she’s 32-years old. She wants me to change my relationship status to “Married,” and we’re not even married yet and I don’t even flirt at all with those beautiful ebony girls on my page.
She and I have each other’s passwords and we talk on phone all the time. She’s supposed to send me the required documents inviting me over in August to come visit her, but she wouldn’t do that unless I change my relationship status to “Married.” I’m not being cocky but I’m a very handsome guy and ladies hit on me online, but they all know I’m involved with this lady because she and I are all over each other’s page. People tell her to forget about me, being Nigerian and all, because they’ve been led to believe that all Nigerians are bad, but she’s seen the real me and she likes that. And, I also get messages telling me to leave her alone, that she just wants young blood (I’m still a virgin). Sounds strange but she’s the first person I’ve really loved. What do you suggest I do? – Don’t Want To Change My Status
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/she-wants-me-to-change-my-facebook-status-to-married-but-we-are-not/
I’ve been following your column for about 2 months now… And I must say I like the way you address issues albeit comical and a lil bit rebuking.
I’m a Nigerian and based in Nigeria. I’ve been involved in an online relationship with a lady I met on Facebook.. She’s based in South Carolina. She and I have been have been in this online relationship for 10 months now. We plan on seeing in August this year when I hopefully come to the States. I’m 25-years old and she’s 32-years old. She wants me to change my relationship status to “Married,” and we’re not even married yet and I don’t even flirt at all with those beautiful ebony girls on my page.
She and I have each other’s passwords and we talk on phone all the time. She’s supposed to send me the required documents inviting me over in August to come visit her, but she wouldn’t do that unless I change my relationship status to “Married.” I’m not being cocky but I’m a very handsome guy and ladies hit on me online, but they all know I’m involved with this lady because she and I are all over each other’s page. People tell her to forget about me, being Nigerian and all, because they’ve been led to believe that all Nigerians are bad, but she’s seen the real me and she likes that. And, I also get messages telling me to leave her alone, that she just wants young blood (I’m still a virgin). Sounds strange but she’s the first person I’ve really loved. What do you suggest I do? – Don’t Want To Change My Status
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/she-wants-me-to-change-my-facebook-status-to-married-but-we-are-not/
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years with a four-time felon. I’m 21-years old and he’s 29-years old, and even though he can’t get a job he seems to come through when needed the most. My problem is in the beginning of our relationship everything was good. Now, he doesn’t have time for me. He’s into texting a lot and when I do call him he always seem to be entirely too busy to talk to me. Even when I try to conversate about our differences he doesn’t want to hear it.
He feels that I should meet him 50/50 on a lot of things and I completely disagree! He has met both of my children and he promises them things and never does it, and I know that it’s wrong. And, by him not being the father, I just stop bringing my children around him for that specific reason. He just got out of prison and I do not feel a connection like I did the first 2 1/2 years of our relationship. I feel it’s someone else, but when I ask him he constantly tells me he would never lie to me. But, women have gut instincts and when I have them I listen to them and end up leaving him for more than one reason. Another thing is he likes going through my cell phone but I can’t touch his. I know that he’s hiding something and it pisses me off. What should I do Gay Best Friend 4eva? – Things Are Not The Same
You can ready my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/hes-a-four-time-felon-and-i-love-him-but-i-think-hes-cheating/
I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years with a four-time felon. I’m 21-years old and he’s 29-years old, and even though he can’t get a job he seems to come through when needed the most. My problem is in the beginning of our relationship everything was good. Now, he doesn’t have time for me. He’s into texting a lot and when I do call him he always seem to be entirely too busy to talk to me. Even when I try to conversate about our differences he doesn’t want to hear it.
He feels that I should meet him 50/50 on a lot of things and I completely disagree! He has met both of my children and he promises them things and never does it, and I know that it’s wrong. And, by him not being the father, I just stop bringing my children around him for that specific reason. He just got out of prison and I do not feel a connection like I did the first 2 1/2 years of our relationship. I feel it’s someone else, but when I ask him he constantly tells me he would never lie to me. But, women have gut instincts and when I have them I listen to them and end up leaving him for more than one reason. Another thing is he likes going through my cell phone but I can’t touch his. I know that he’s hiding something and it pisses me off. What should I do Gay Best Friend 4eva? – Things Are Not The Same
You can ready my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/hes-a-four-time-felon-and-i-love-him-but-i-think-hes-cheating/
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
Where to start? I met a man that I was sexual attracted to, and then as we got to know each other I enjoyed him mentally as well. But, let’s just get to the point. We were intimate and it was great. We dated, talked, went to poetry readings, walks in the park and then it happened. We had only been intimate once and then he hit me with the high school version of, “If you like me, then you would give me oral sex.” WHAT???? That was my first reply, and then he started to explain that he enjoyed that and thinks that he should get it if I like him.
Well, I do like him, but I am a bit older then he (I’m 32 years old), but I am not about to play games. I don’t know him well enough to just do that. And, just because everyone else he has dealt with does it on the first date or first sexual encounter has nothing to do with me. I just want to know is this what the world is coming to, that in order to let a man know you want him or you’re interested in him that you must blow him? If so, then why isn’t it that men don’t just give women oral sex to say, “Hey, I like you and I think we could be something?”
Please advise me as to what I need to do or what I may be doing wrong that keeps me single? Signed Ms. Wow Just Wow
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-cant-believe-that-he-asked-me-to-perform-orally-on-him/
Where to start? I met a man that I was sexual attracted to, and then as we got to know each other I enjoyed him mentally as well. But, let’s just get to the point. We were intimate and it was great. We dated, talked, went to poetry readings, walks in the park and then it happened. We had only been intimate once and then he hit me with the high school version of, “If you like me, then you would give me oral sex.” WHAT???? That was my first reply, and then he started to explain that he enjoyed that and thinks that he should get it if I like him.
Well, I do like him, but I am a bit older then he (I’m 32 years old), but I am not about to play games. I don’t know him well enough to just do that. And, just because everyone else he has dealt with does it on the first date or first sexual encounter has nothing to do with me. I just want to know is this what the world is coming to, that in order to let a man know you want him or you’re interested in him that you must blow him? If so, then why isn’t it that men don’t just give women oral sex to say, “Hey, I like you and I think we could be something?”
Please advise me as to what I need to do or what I may be doing wrong that keeps me single? Signed Ms. Wow Just Wow
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-cant-believe-that-he-asked-me-to-perform-orally-on-him/
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I find it hard for me to let my guard down again. I have been hurt too many times in the past. I’m pretty sure you have heard that one plenty of times before but here is where my story differs. The man who truly broke my heart was a pastor!
Before I started my freshman year in college I went to summer school and got ahead. This is where I met him. He was heading into his junior year and was deeply rooted in the Lord which was a major plus being that I am a saved woman. Well, after talking for six months we decided to go out. After a year and a month I get the, “We need to talk” text message right before church!!
I found it very childish for him to come at me through a text message, but anyway his reason for breaking up was because he said he had a conversation with God and God told him that we were moving too fast. That killed me, but who am I to question God!
Here’s the problem: He went back and told our friends that the real reason was because I was too street, had no leadership skills, and that I wasn’t First Lady material. That hurt me and I wanted to hurt him. He judged me because of my past and where I was raised! Yes I am from the hood but you could never tell unless I told you.
Now, I have finally closed that book in my junior year and there is another man trying to capture my heart. He talks about God all the time but I am kind of skeptical about really going into this after what a so called pastor did to me. What do I do? – Saved Black Woman
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/the-pastor-dumped-me-because-i-was-too-street-not-first-lady-material/
I find it hard for me to let my guard down again. I have been hurt too many times in the past. I’m pretty sure you have heard that one plenty of times before but here is where my story differs. The man who truly broke my heart was a pastor!
Before I started my freshman year in college I went to summer school and got ahead. This is where I met him. He was heading into his junior year and was deeply rooted in the Lord which was a major plus being that I am a saved woman. Well, after talking for six months we decided to go out. After a year and a month I get the, “We need to talk” text message right before church!!
I found it very childish for him to come at me through a text message, but anyway his reason for breaking up was because he said he had a conversation with God and God told him that we were moving too fast. That killed me, but who am I to question God!
Here’s the problem: He went back and told our friends that the real reason was because I was too street, had no leadership skills, and that I wasn’t First Lady material. That hurt me and I wanted to hurt him. He judged me because of my past and where I was raised! Yes I am from the hood but you could never tell unless I told you.
Now, I have finally closed that book in my junior year and there is another man trying to capture my heart. He talks about God all the time but I am kind of skeptical about really going into this after what a so called pastor did to me. What do I do? – Saved Black Woman
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/the-pastor-dumped-me-because-i-was-too-street-not-first-lady-material/
Check Out The Piece I Wrote For JUICY Magazine Celebrating The Late E. Lynn Harris, And Invisible Life
I still can't believe it. My late friend, E. Lynn Harris is no longer here. The man who changed the literary world and scene, and got the Black community talking about down low and gay men. Yes, E. Lynn was the man who put a face to so many Black gay men struggling with their sexuality.
I bet a lot of you didn't know it was 20 years ago that E. Lynn broke onto the scene with his literary debut, INVISIBLE LIFE. Yes, that book changed the lives of so many down low and gay men, and I was one of them.
That's why I'm so excited. I got the latest issue of JUICY Magazine, and in it is the piece I did for my late friend and mentor, E. Lynn Harris. The editors called me and asked me to write a piece on E. Lynn, and without hesitation I told them that I would. We are celebrating the 20-Year Anniversary of his groundbreaking novel, INVISIBLE LIFE. We're paying homage to his works and legacy.
I hope you will get your copy and check out the piece I did. It truly is amazing that someone who had a vision, believed in himself, and was unafraid to tell "his" story made the world take notice of so many of us who were afraid to be seen. With his trailblazing vision it makes it possible for persons such as myself to write books, tell "our" stories, and live in my truth.
Make sure to pick up the new issue of JUICY Magazine and let me know what you think of the piece. I would love to get your feedback. And, thank you for continued love and support.
Terrance Dean
Friday, March 18, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
It’s funny how you think the relationship is fine and one day your partner asks you to go to your father’s house because she needs space. I always thought of space in a relationship as time apart, us doing our own thing and coming back together. Space is not telling, asking or forcing someone to leave their house too. That is a separation.
We have been together for five years, not all was bad either. One day, things just changed, no more talking to each other. Our relationship became silent and cold. We don’t even sleep in the same bed. Petty fights became huge fights. Never thought this day would come. The crazy thing is I am not mad at her just a little hurt, hurt by the fact that this feels so permanent. I am having a hard time sleeping and trying not to pick up the phone to get my wife back.
People tell me that if she put you out once she will do it again. I believe that our families finally did what they wanted to do five years ago, see us apart. I could be wrong, but I could be right. The thing is I want us and I think she does to, we just don’t know how to do ourselves and still do us. Should I fight or flight for this relationship? Lost In Seattle
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/me-my-wife-dont-sleep-together-she-asked-me-to-leave-but-i-want-her-back/
It’s funny how you think the relationship is fine and one day your partner asks you to go to your father’s house because she needs space. I always thought of space in a relationship as time apart, us doing our own thing and coming back together. Space is not telling, asking or forcing someone to leave their house too. That is a separation.
We have been together for five years, not all was bad either. One day, things just changed, no more talking to each other. Our relationship became silent and cold. We don’t even sleep in the same bed. Petty fights became huge fights. Never thought this day would come. The crazy thing is I am not mad at her just a little hurt, hurt by the fact that this feels so permanent. I am having a hard time sleeping and trying not to pick up the phone to get my wife back.
People tell me that if she put you out once she will do it again. I believe that our families finally did what they wanted to do five years ago, see us apart. I could be wrong, but I could be right. The thing is I want us and I think she does to, we just don’t know how to do ourselves and still do us. Should I fight or flight for this relationship? Lost In Seattle
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/me-my-wife-dont-sleep-together-she-asked-me-to-leave-but-i-want-her-back/
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am 17-years old, still in school, and making plans to go to college. My boyfriend is 18-years old going on 19, out of school, has no job, no license or car, and doesn’t seem to be making an effort to get out of his mother’s house.
We plan on moving in together and getting married after I graduate from high school. I love him more than anything, but I’m scared that us being together is not gonna give him the motivation to be a man that I need for him to be. We barely see each other because he lives in a town one hour away from me. But, when we see each other his mother or older cousin is always around. I want to tell him to at least try to grow up and make grown up decisions, but I don’t know how without feeling like I’m nagging or pressuring him. What do I do? Please help me. – Ms. Lost
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/after-high-school-i-plan-to-marry-him-but-hes-unmotivated-in-his-life/
I am 17-years old, still in school, and making plans to go to college. My boyfriend is 18-years old going on 19, out of school, has no job, no license or car, and doesn’t seem to be making an effort to get out of his mother’s house.
We plan on moving in together and getting married after I graduate from high school. I love him more than anything, but I’m scared that us being together is not gonna give him the motivation to be a man that I need for him to be. We barely see each other because he lives in a town one hour away from me. But, when we see each other his mother or older cousin is always around. I want to tell him to at least try to grow up and make grown up decisions, but I don’t know how without feeling like I’m nagging or pressuring him. What do I do? Please help me. – Ms. Lost
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/after-high-school-i-plan-to-marry-him-but-hes-unmotivated-in-his-life/
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
Ok, I know you like your stories short, so I’m gonna keep it that way.
I’ve known my step sister for six years and at one time her and I were BFF’s. Well, about a year ago I slept with her “cuddy buddy” and after a while I came flat out and told her. At first, him and I only had sex once but kept our friendship. Last September she found out she’s pregnant and she thinks it’s his. He and I are now together and he wants nothing to do with her. This is now her baby’s dad, and her and I are back on speaking terms and I don’t want to end it with him, but I still want to be cool with her. What do I do? Between A Rock And A Hard Place
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-dating-my-stepsisters-baby-daddy-am-i-wrong/
Ok, I know you like your stories short, so I’m gonna keep it that way.
I’ve known my step sister for six years and at one time her and I were BFF’s. Well, about a year ago I slept with her “cuddy buddy” and after a while I came flat out and told her. At first, him and I only had sex once but kept our friendship. Last September she found out she’s pregnant and she thinks it’s his. He and I are now together and he wants nothing to do with her. This is now her baby’s dad, and her and I are back on speaking terms and I don’t want to end it with him, but I still want to be cool with her. What do I do? Between A Rock And A Hard Place
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-dating-my-stepsisters-baby-daddy-am-i-wrong/
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
When I was 20-years old, I found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship that was quickly spiraling into a physically abusive one. I was pregnant with his child, diagnosed with leukemia, moving back into my mom’s house, all while trying to finish college and maintain my 3.6 GPA.
While at school, I met this guy I’ll call “Devin.” Devin wasn’t my normal type. He and I became very close friends, and he was a major support system for me during this time in my life. I knew he had a crush on me, and when he finally asked me out I told him that he wasn’t my type. Truth be told, between the drama of my daughter’s father, college, and chemo I just wasn’t in the mindset to date anyone. However, we maintained our friendship for awhile, but eventually lost contact.
Fast forward 9 years. My leukemia is in remission, no contact with the abusive ex, and I’m working on my doctorate. While checking an email account from my undergrad days, Devin happened to be on and we reconnected. We now live on different coasts. He was married with a child. We quickly fell back into our best friend mode. He told me that during that time in college he was deeply in love with me, wanted to sign my daughter’s birth certificate and get married. I was shocked to say the least. I never knew it was that serious. He told me that he was miserable in his marriage, and his wife routinely cheated on him. He said but for the fact that they had a son together he would leave, and if he thought he could get with me he would move to my coast. I told him he was full of –ish, and if he was that unhappy he would have divorced her by now.
He stopped talking to me for 6 months. When he finally started talking to me again, it was to tell me that he filed for divorce and moved out. He said that he and his wife both agreed it was the best. He gave her everything but his car and his clothes. It’s been 2 years since, and we again fell back into best friend mode.
I have been contemplating moving to his part of the world as jobs there in my field start in the six figures and the cost of living is much cheaper. He has made it known that he still has feelings, and I have to admit I am catching feelings also. However, recently after a chance conversation with a colleague, an opportunity has opened up for me to start my own company here. I’ve been asked to present my business plan to a group of investors who are excited about investing in me after hearing the initial pitch.
Granted, I can be extremely comfortable where he is and have a wonderful career, but I can stay and open my own company and be extremely comfortable. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt him, nor do I want to pass on a chance to be with him. At the same time, I don’t want to end up hating him because I passed up on an opportunity to accomplish a dream that I have been working towards for ten years and dreaming about during my dark days in the hospital fighting leukemia.
So my questions are:
1) Do I even take him seriously?
2) How do I decide which career option to take? – Catch 22
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-wanted-me-before-he-wasnt-my-type-now-hes-back-years-later/
When I was 20-years old, I found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship that was quickly spiraling into a physically abusive one. I was pregnant with his child, diagnosed with leukemia, moving back into my mom’s house, all while trying to finish college and maintain my 3.6 GPA.
While at school, I met this guy I’ll call “Devin.” Devin wasn’t my normal type. He and I became very close friends, and he was a major support system for me during this time in my life. I knew he had a crush on me, and when he finally asked me out I told him that he wasn’t my type. Truth be told, between the drama of my daughter’s father, college, and chemo I just wasn’t in the mindset to date anyone. However, we maintained our friendship for awhile, but eventually lost contact.
Fast forward 9 years. My leukemia is in remission, no contact with the abusive ex, and I’m working on my doctorate. While checking an email account from my undergrad days, Devin happened to be on and we reconnected. We now live on different coasts. He was married with a child. We quickly fell back into our best friend mode. He told me that during that time in college he was deeply in love with me, wanted to sign my daughter’s birth certificate and get married. I was shocked to say the least. I never knew it was that serious. He told me that he was miserable in his marriage, and his wife routinely cheated on him. He said but for the fact that they had a son together he would leave, and if he thought he could get with me he would move to my coast. I told him he was full of –ish, and if he was that unhappy he would have divorced her by now.
He stopped talking to me for 6 months. When he finally started talking to me again, it was to tell me that he filed for divorce and moved out. He said that he and his wife both agreed it was the best. He gave her everything but his car and his clothes. It’s been 2 years since, and we again fell back into best friend mode.
I have been contemplating moving to his part of the world as jobs there in my field start in the six figures and the cost of living is much cheaper. He has made it known that he still has feelings, and I have to admit I am catching feelings also. However, recently after a chance conversation with a colleague, an opportunity has opened up for me to start my own company here. I’ve been asked to present my business plan to a group of investors who are excited about investing in me after hearing the initial pitch.
Granted, I can be extremely comfortable where he is and have a wonderful career, but I can stay and open my own company and be extremely comfortable. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt him, nor do I want to pass on a chance to be with him. At the same time, I don’t want to end up hating him because I passed up on an opportunity to accomplish a dream that I have been working towards for ten years and dreaming about during my dark days in the hospital fighting leukemia.
So my questions are:
1) Do I even take him seriously?
2) How do I decide which career option to take? – Catch 22
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-wanted-me-before-he-wasnt-my-type-now-hes-back-years-later/
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I met a smooth talking Bishop on Facebook about 3 months ago. We’ve had many hours in telephone conversations.
I am a 46-year old single divorced mom with 2 sons, ages 11 and 26-years old. The smooth talking Bishop is 52-years old with custody of two daughters, ages 5 and 7-years old.
The Bishop lives in Indianapolis, IN and I reside in Dallas, TX. We have not met as of yet. Per the Bishop, he is strapped financially. The minimum cost of a ticket is $300.00. The Bishop is not currently “bishoping” due to a heart attack; the part of his income is null and void. The Bishop currently works as a community managing supervisor in a Prison Facility.
I have worked in Telecommunications, (Manager), for 21 years. GOD has blessed me in an incredible financial manner. I could very easily “sponsor” the Bishop’s initial visit to Dallas.
Is his financial status, or lack thereof, a deal breaker? I’ve always wanted a Man who would woo, romance, and make me appreciate the basic fundamentals of “dating.” Please reply/answer as only you can! I love and respect your style. – Waiting On Bishop
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-met-a-bishop-online-but-he-cant-afford-to-visit-me-should-i-pay/
I met a smooth talking Bishop on Facebook about 3 months ago. We’ve had many hours in telephone conversations.
I am a 46-year old single divorced mom with 2 sons, ages 11 and 26-years old. The smooth talking Bishop is 52-years old with custody of two daughters, ages 5 and 7-years old.
The Bishop lives in Indianapolis, IN and I reside in Dallas, TX. We have not met as of yet. Per the Bishop, he is strapped financially. The minimum cost of a ticket is $300.00. The Bishop is not currently “bishoping” due to a heart attack; the part of his income is null and void. The Bishop currently works as a community managing supervisor in a Prison Facility.
I have worked in Telecommunications, (Manager), for 21 years. GOD has blessed me in an incredible financial manner. I could very easily “sponsor” the Bishop’s initial visit to Dallas.
Is his financial status, or lack thereof, a deal breaker? I’ve always wanted a Man who would woo, romance, and make me appreciate the basic fundamentals of “dating.” Please reply/answer as only you can! I love and respect your style. – Waiting On Bishop
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-met-a-bishop-online-but-he-cant-afford-to-visit-me-should-i-pay/
Friday, March 11, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I know you have heard my story before. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and we have 2 kids together. In our 8 year relationship he has not been able to hold down a job, but has always found a way to provide for our children. My problem is I don’t trust him and I never have. We don’t live together right now and he has plenty of time and opportunity to cheat if he wanted to. I want to leave and have left him before because of certain situations that have come up in our relationship that has involved other girls. I know it in my heart and can feel it in my bones that he is not being honest with me. I know I deserve better but I want to work this out! I want to get married and settle down. Tired of playing game! Am I just being a fool for my man or is this the world we live in where every women is sharing her man? – Trying To Stand By Her Man!
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/todays-no-more-drama-put-him-out-get-your-life-and-start-over-day/
I know you have heard my story before. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and we have 2 kids together. In our 8 year relationship he has not been able to hold down a job, but has always found a way to provide for our children. My problem is I don’t trust him and I never have. We don’t live together right now and he has plenty of time and opportunity to cheat if he wanted to. I want to leave and have left him before because of certain situations that have come up in our relationship that has involved other girls. I know it in my heart and can feel it in my bones that he is not being honest with me. I know I deserve better but I want to work this out! I want to get married and settle down. Tired of playing game! Am I just being a fool for my man or is this the world we live in where every women is sharing her man? – Trying To Stand By Her Man!
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/todays-no-more-drama-put-him-out-get-your-life-and-start-over-day/
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am a 24-year old mother of one. Due to how the economy is, I lost my job a little over a year ago. So, in order to save up some money I moved back in with my mom. I’m not like some people who live with their parents. I don’t freeload. I buy groceries every month for the house and I give my mom money to pay all the utility bills and the cable and any extra she asks for that goes to any extra bills that may come up.
Now, on to why I’m writing you. In the household there is me, my baby, my mom, my grandma, and an uncle who is 61-years old, and getting on my damn nerves!!! My uncle spent most of his life in and out of jail. Every time he got out, he came back to my mom’s just to “F” up and go right back in. I guess the last time he had an epiphany and decided he wanted to do right. This was in 2007. When he was released he was only suppose to be staying in my mom’s house for a short period of time until he landed on his feet. It is now 2011 and he hasn’t went anywhere.
He never attempted to get a job. He doesn’t help around the house or contribute in any type of way. All he does is eat sleep and talk on his cell phone, that one of his friends was stupid enough to buy him!!! Me, and my mom are starting to get beyond fed up. I think my grandma is too, but she hasn’t really said anything. I am tired of him so much so that I find myself having to bite my tongue to keep from cussing him out. I’m a very outspoken person so doing that is very hard for me! Every single day he finds away to piss us off and I don’t know what to do anymore. I won’t be able to move again until the end of the year, and I definitely don’t think I can bite my tongue for that long. So, please help and let me know what we should do about our situation for our sanity and to keep me from hurting him. LOL – Ticking Time Bomb
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-fed-up-my-non-working-uncle-lives-with-us-doesnt-contribute/
I am a 24-year old mother of one. Due to how the economy is, I lost my job a little over a year ago. So, in order to save up some money I moved back in with my mom. I’m not like some people who live with their parents. I don’t freeload. I buy groceries every month for the house and I give my mom money to pay all the utility bills and the cable and any extra she asks for that goes to any extra bills that may come up.
Now, on to why I’m writing you. In the household there is me, my baby, my mom, my grandma, and an uncle who is 61-years old, and getting on my damn nerves!!! My uncle spent most of his life in and out of jail. Every time he got out, he came back to my mom’s just to “F” up and go right back in. I guess the last time he had an epiphany and decided he wanted to do right. This was in 2007. When he was released he was only suppose to be staying in my mom’s house for a short period of time until he landed on his feet. It is now 2011 and he hasn’t went anywhere.
He never attempted to get a job. He doesn’t help around the house or contribute in any type of way. All he does is eat sleep and talk on his cell phone, that one of his friends was stupid enough to buy him!!! Me, and my mom are starting to get beyond fed up. I think my grandma is too, but she hasn’t really said anything. I am tired of him so much so that I find myself having to bite my tongue to keep from cussing him out. I’m a very outspoken person so doing that is very hard for me! Every single day he finds away to piss us off and I don’t know what to do anymore. I won’t be able to move again until the end of the year, and I definitely don’t think I can bite my tongue for that long. So, please help and let me know what we should do about our situation for our sanity and to keep me from hurting him. LOL – Ticking Time Bomb
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-fed-up-my-non-working-uncle-lives-with-us-doesnt-contribute/
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am caught up in my own love square (no not triangle). I’m currently in a long distance relationship and I’m having major second thoughts. My boyfriend doesn’t show me enough attention. He claims he’s always working and if that’s the case that’s fine, but can a sister get a text message. We had plans on him and his son moving to the state I’m in and getting our life officially started. Well time has flown by and now I’m thinking maybe this isn’t such a good idea. If he can’t show me some kind of attention from afar then when he gets here it may be worse. No need to waste our time and confuse his son.
So, in comes guy #2. This guy gives me all that I’m looking for. He has picked up the slack and then some from my boyfriend. Attention, conversation, makes me laugh and is overall a really nice person. When he and I first met we agreed that what we have will not be a relationship. It was strictly just us having fun and you know what else. LOL. But lately he seems to want more. I explained my situation to him from the beginning and he understood and agreed. He claims to be able to do for me what I want. Age-old story. Who’s to say that if I agree to this he won’t turn out to be the same thing I’m dealing with now?
Then, strolls in guy #3. He’s an ex who wants a second chance. I haven’t told him about my situation but I’m sure he knows I have someone. He was a good boyfriend but I just couldn’t deal with his lack of motivation. Since we’ve been apart he’s done a complete turnaround. I still have feelings for him and yet again I’m not sure what to do. Any advice is appreciated. – Pair And A Spare
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-dont-have-one-man-but-three-to-choose-from-what-do-i-do/
I am caught up in my own love square (no not triangle). I’m currently in a long distance relationship and I’m having major second thoughts. My boyfriend doesn’t show me enough attention. He claims he’s always working and if that’s the case that’s fine, but can a sister get a text message. We had plans on him and his son moving to the state I’m in and getting our life officially started. Well time has flown by and now I’m thinking maybe this isn’t such a good idea. If he can’t show me some kind of attention from afar then when he gets here it may be worse. No need to waste our time and confuse his son.
So, in comes guy #2. This guy gives me all that I’m looking for. He has picked up the slack and then some from my boyfriend. Attention, conversation, makes me laugh and is overall a really nice person. When he and I first met we agreed that what we have will not be a relationship. It was strictly just us having fun and you know what else. LOL. But lately he seems to want more. I explained my situation to him from the beginning and he understood and agreed. He claims to be able to do for me what I want. Age-old story. Who’s to say that if I agree to this he won’t turn out to be the same thing I’m dealing with now?
Then, strolls in guy #3. He’s an ex who wants a second chance. I haven’t told him about my situation but I’m sure he knows I have someone. He was a good boyfriend but I just couldn’t deal with his lack of motivation. Since we’ve been apart he’s done a complete turnaround. I still have feelings for him and yet again I’m not sure what to do. Any advice is appreciated. – Pair And A Spare
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-dont-have-one-man-but-three-to-choose-from-what-do-i-do/
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day....
Dear Gay Best Friend,
About 7 months ago I ran into an old associate of mine and she was looking very very nice (as she always has). A few years ago I stated to myself that I would never get back into another lesbian relationship due to all the drama I have experienced in the past with the women I have dated. But, this young lady was very persistent and eventually won me over. We spent a few months together just enjoying each other’s company relearning one another, nothing sexual until just recently.
We are both Capricorns so we understand a lot about one another and can pretty much predict how the other will react to certain situations, but we also know exactly how to push each other’s buttons. I’m pretty much the laid back one that just takes things as they come and through time have learned to think before I react. She on the other hand is very explosive and reacts very quickly like she is always on the defense and I don’t understand why. I mean this girl cuts deep, goes for the jugular! The things that come out of her mouth are meant to hurt and she knows just where to hit you each time.
Things between us are great until we have one of these incidents then I start to remember all over again why I left woman alone in the first place. She has a heart of gold and will go out of her way to do ANYTHING for me. I love everything about her except this explosive attitude. Is this gonna be worth the headache? I’m so lost. What should I do? – Tired Of The Drama
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-said-no-more-drama-from-lesbians-but-i-really-like-her/
About 7 months ago I ran into an old associate of mine and she was looking very very nice (as she always has). A few years ago I stated to myself that I would never get back into another lesbian relationship due to all the drama I have experienced in the past with the women I have dated. But, this young lady was very persistent and eventually won me over. We spent a few months together just enjoying each other’s company relearning one another, nothing sexual until just recently.
We are both Capricorns so we understand a lot about one another and can pretty much predict how the other will react to certain situations, but we also know exactly how to push each other’s buttons. I’m pretty much the laid back one that just takes things as they come and through time have learned to think before I react. She on the other hand is very explosive and reacts very quickly like she is always on the defense and I don’t understand why. I mean this girl cuts deep, goes for the jugular! The things that come out of her mouth are meant to hurt and she knows just where to hit you each time.
Things between us are great until we have one of these incidents then I start to remember all over again why I left woman alone in the first place. She has a heart of gold and will go out of her way to do ANYTHING for me. I love everything about her except this explosive attitude. Is this gonna be worth the headache? I’m so lost. What should I do? – Tired Of The Drama
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-said-no-more-drama-from-lesbians-but-i-really-like-her/
Monday, March 7, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I will make this quick. I met a man online four years ago and had been talking on the phone and chatting. And, he sent beautiful flowers each holiday and for my birthday. I sent him gifts too. My girlfriend and I went to meet him (I took a friend along because this was our first time meeting). He had no problem with my friend coming along. So, we meet three more times, went to lunch, dinner and tours of his city.
He invited me to spend the weekend. I went alone. We had a great time. We talked, laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. I slept in his bedroom and he slept on the sofa during my entire stay. I said, “Wow, just what I’m looking for, no c*ck hound here.” I invited him to my home. We slept in the same bed. He said goodnight, and I said goodnight.
We discussed celibacy and he and I have been for quite some time. But, he stated he was ready to get back into the swing of things. And, I decided to go for it. We planned a romantic weekend at my home. And, then he stopped calling. I’m like just when I let my guard down, he does this. I asked all kinds of questions four years ago. Stuff like mental health, alcohol, and drug issues, and he stated none. He told me a lot of personal stuff, which no matter what, I would never repeat. Nothing that bad. So, against my better judgment, I called him, and I got no answer. I emailed him, asking what happened, no answer. Saw him online (he’s on my buddy list), so I just said, “How are you?” and he replied, “I’m good.”
We both are in our early 60’s and both look good for our ages. I think he’s afraid of sex. I asked him that one time when we were discussing sex and he stated that’s one of his favorite things. I say football is his most favorite. He seems like a decent guy but have some secrets I think. What do you think? Waiting for your feedback. – Single Sexy Senior
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/were-in-our-60s-met-online-but-after-sex-he-blew-me-off/
I will make this quick. I met a man online four years ago and had been talking on the phone and chatting. And, he sent beautiful flowers each holiday and for my birthday. I sent him gifts too. My girlfriend and I went to meet him (I took a friend along because this was our first time meeting). He had no problem with my friend coming along. So, we meet three more times, went to lunch, dinner and tours of his city.
He invited me to spend the weekend. I went alone. We had a great time. We talked, laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. I slept in his bedroom and he slept on the sofa during my entire stay. I said, “Wow, just what I’m looking for, no c*ck hound here.” I invited him to my home. We slept in the same bed. He said goodnight, and I said goodnight.
We discussed celibacy and he and I have been for quite some time. But, he stated he was ready to get back into the swing of things. And, I decided to go for it. We planned a romantic weekend at my home. And, then he stopped calling. I’m like just when I let my guard down, he does this. I asked all kinds of questions four years ago. Stuff like mental health, alcohol, and drug issues, and he stated none. He told me a lot of personal stuff, which no matter what, I would never repeat. Nothing that bad. So, against my better judgment, I called him, and I got no answer. I emailed him, asking what happened, no answer. Saw him online (he’s on my buddy list), so I just said, “How are you?” and he replied, “I’m good.”
We both are in our early 60’s and both look good for our ages. I think he’s afraid of sex. I asked him that one time when we were discussing sex and he stated that’s one of his favorite things. I say football is his most favorite. He seems like a decent guy but have some secrets I think. What do you think? Waiting for your feedback. – Single Sexy Senior
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/were-in-our-60s-met-online-but-after-sex-he-blew-me-off/
Friday, March 4, 2011
Today Is "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am a young women in her 20’s who is in a relationship with a guy in his 30’s. We just had a baby and I took care of him while he was in jail. When he got out he took care of me and my son, but every weekend he goes out and stays out and comes in the house drink to the point where we fight and argue. But, Sunday through Thursday we are great. I put him out, but he will not leave. He cries and begs, the whole nine, and I am begging him to fix our problem. He sees no problem and will not talk about it. I am very unhappy. He claims he is not cheating and I am starting to hate him because of the -ish he does on the weekends. What should I do - I’m Over Him
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-sick-of-him-leaving-the-weekend-return-home-like-nothing/
I am a young women in her 20’s who is in a relationship with a guy in his 30’s. We just had a baby and I took care of him while he was in jail. When he got out he took care of me and my son, but every weekend he goes out and stays out and comes in the house drink to the point where we fight and argue. But, Sunday through Thursday we are great. I put him out, but he will not leave. He cries and begs, the whole nine, and I am begging him to fix our problem. He sees no problem and will not talk about it. I am very unhappy. He claims he is not cheating and I am starting to hate him because of the -ish he does on the weekends. What should I do - I’m Over Him
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-sick-of-him-leaving-the-weekend-return-home-like-nothing/
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
It's "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
So, I met this guy online. Well, I knew him before but we haven’t seen each other is years. Well, we started talking. A few months after meeting again online we started a relationship. In my eyes he was perfect. He wanted to wait to have sex, he always called me beautiful, did anything for me, wrote me poems, anything a girl could ask for. He ended up moving in with me, and that’s when the boat sank.
He worked night shift so I would be home by myself. He was constantly asking me who came over, what I did, and who I talked to. I could see the warning signs of intense jealousy, but he had so many good qualities I over looked it. But I should have listened to Ms. Hilson when she said “Jealousy is the ugliest trait,” but I didn’t.
Well, as time went on jealousy turned into anger, which turned into obsession. I can say, however, he never put his hands on me, but I guess that’s called emotional abuse. I had to turn him loose. Well, that was back in September 2010. Unfortunately he is not out of my life. He ended up getting in some trouble and is now out on bail. I was close to his parents so they kept me updated. Well, he took that the wrong way and thought I was “in love” with him again.
When you fall in love with someone, that love never goes away but it does “dwindle” per se. I care for him and I would never wish jail on anybody. But he won’t leave me alone. I blocked him on Facebook, so he gets a Twitter and follows me on there. I change my number, somehow he finds it. He gets on other peoples Facebook just to look at my status.
I am currently talking to someone, but he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with me because of my ex. He says he doesn’t have time for the drama. Which I completely understand, but I can’t get rid of my ex! Any suggestions?!?! – I Messed Up
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-was-too-obsessive-so-i-broke-it-off-but-he-wont-leave-me-alone/
So, I met this guy online. Well, I knew him before but we haven’t seen each other is years. Well, we started talking. A few months after meeting again online we started a relationship. In my eyes he was perfect. He wanted to wait to have sex, he always called me beautiful, did anything for me, wrote me poems, anything a girl could ask for. He ended up moving in with me, and that’s when the boat sank.
He worked night shift so I would be home by myself. He was constantly asking me who came over, what I did, and who I talked to. I could see the warning signs of intense jealousy, but he had so many good qualities I over looked it. But I should have listened to Ms. Hilson when she said “Jealousy is the ugliest trait,” but I didn’t.
Well, as time went on jealousy turned into anger, which turned into obsession. I can say, however, he never put his hands on me, but I guess that’s called emotional abuse. I had to turn him loose. Well, that was back in September 2010. Unfortunately he is not out of my life. He ended up getting in some trouble and is now out on bail. I was close to his parents so they kept me updated. Well, he took that the wrong way and thought I was “in love” with him again.
When you fall in love with someone, that love never goes away but it does “dwindle” per se. I care for him and I would never wish jail on anybody. But he won’t leave me alone. I blocked him on Facebook, so he gets a Twitter and follows me on there. I change my number, somehow he finds it. He gets on other peoples Facebook just to look at my status.
I am currently talking to someone, but he doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with me because of my ex. He says he doesn’t have time for the drama. Which I completely understand, but I can’t get rid of my ex! Any suggestions?!?! – I Messed Up
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-was-too-obsessive-so-i-broke-it-off-but-he-wont-leave-me-alone/
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Today Is, "Straight From Your gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have been seeing this young guy, he’s 29- years old and I’m 37-years old, for about 15 months and he’s the ass I know. I have dedicated almost all of my time to him only to find out that he’s still sleeping with his children’s mothers. I have been in an abusive relationship for years because I didn’t think that anyone would be interested in a heavy woman like myself.
I have expressed to my male friend what I want and how I feel about him only for him to tell me that he loves me, but he’s not where he wants to be at this point in his life and he doesn’t want to commit to a relationship. WTF! He’s the ONLY man that I am sleeping with, but I’m sure he’s still sleeping around with others. Then sometimes when he and I argue he’ll hang up on me and won’t answer my calls. When he’s with either one of his children’s mother he won’t answer his phone and I’m sure that they don’t know that he’s still seeing me. When he spends the night at my house he puts his phone on silent and places it in his shoe. LMBAO. I do EVERYTHING for this man and I just want him and no one else. Should I walk away or try to stick it out to see if there could be something between the two of us? HELP ME! – In Love With A Young Man
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-a-big-girl-in-love-with-a-young-man-he-treats-me-like-crap/
I have been seeing this young guy, he’s 29- years old and I’m 37-years old, for about 15 months and he’s the ass I know. I have dedicated almost all of my time to him only to find out that he’s still sleeping with his children’s mothers. I have been in an abusive relationship for years because I didn’t think that anyone would be interested in a heavy woman like myself.
I have expressed to my male friend what I want and how I feel about him only for him to tell me that he loves me, but he’s not where he wants to be at this point in his life and he doesn’t want to commit to a relationship. WTF! He’s the ONLY man that I am sleeping with, but I’m sure he’s still sleeping around with others. Then sometimes when he and I argue he’ll hang up on me and won’t answer my calls. When he’s with either one of his children’s mother he won’t answer his phone and I’m sure that they don’t know that he’s still seeing me. When he spends the night at my house he puts his phone on silent and places it in his shoe. LMBAO. I do EVERYTHING for this man and I just want him and no one else. Should I walk away or try to stick it out to see if there could be something between the two of us? HELP ME! – In Love With A Young Man
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-a-big-girl-in-love-with-a-young-man-he-treats-me-like-crap/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)