First, I want to say, I read a lot of the questions that you get and I must admit some of those questions have been crazy and you go pretty hard on them. I hope I am not one these…LOL !
Anyhow, I have am currently engaged and have been since July. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 2 ½ years. To me we have an okay relationship. When we have an obstacle to work through we communicate about it pretty well. If we get into it we can usually talk about it and resolve it. Overall, he’s a pretty good guy. I would not have said yes to the ring if he wasn’t.
However, the thing that he and I continue to struggle with is his lack of willingness to go above and beyond in the relationship. It’s like if you’re a manager and you have an employee that you see full potential in; and they are just meeting the minimum requirements of the job. This one is not the star employee willing to go above and beyond. He lacks with compliments, passion, romance, and spontaneity. Sometimes it’s like pulling teeth to get him to say, “Thank you,” or, “I enjoyed that meal you just spent three hours preparing.”
I have expressed these things to him several times and nothing changes. He’s not mean, but he is very passive aggressive and I am an aggressive person. I have even compromised on being so aggressive just to see if that was causing the issue. Sadly, nothing has changed. In the past he has told me that he is not used to dealing with someone like me. He’s used to dealing with chicks that do not want anything out of life except their hair and nails done. That’s the total opposite of everything that I am. I think that in their eyes this dude was a king and then he got with me and I’m like and? Because in all of my past relationships, I have been treated like the most special girl in the world and actually I didn’t have to do as much in those relationships because they weren’t worth it.
Now, I have gotten to the point with him that if he is not willing to step his game up then I am going to have to dissolve this relationship. I have made so many adjustments for this relationship because I love him. I mean he says I love you, but that’s where the buck stops. I go above and beyond to make him feel special and he has acknowledged such, so why can’t I get it in return? Am I just tripping, or am I really missing something?? I need him to get some Act Right !! – Patiently Waiting Change
You can read my response, HERE:
http://bossip.com/517446/dear-bossip-im-engaged-but-my-fiance-doesnt-put-forth-any-effort-in-the-relationship/
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