Dear Gay Best Friend,
First, I did buy your book. I read it all in one night last Friday as a matter of fact. The chapter on, Get Some Me Time: Not Some Him and Some Her, Just A Little Me Time, could have included more. For instance, I would have included something on masturbation. But that’s why you wrote it not me.
Anyway, I was dating this Pastor for about four years. We experienced a lot together. He was there when I was sick, and we traveled together. Although we were “together,” I never got the feeling that I was this girl. I had feelings for him, but I was not in love. He was companionship mostly. So, when I got a call from a long lost love, I jumped at the chance to feel “loved and in- love” again. He proposed and I regrettably accepted. There were so many signs that I ignored, but his presence was so damn intoxicating. Needless to say, we never made it to the altar. He actually stole my Rolex watch!
Anyway, after I came to myself, I called the Pastor to tell him that I did not get married. He wanted to meet, so I agreed. Last Friday he called to ask me to dinner. At dinner he began to tell me that he was asking God if I was his wife. Totally confused, I could not believe what I was hearing. In the midst of his revelation, he got a call from someone who was attempting to pinpoint his exact location. I heard him say he was in Wal-Mart. Before I left the table I asked the waitress to bring me a top shelf Long Island Iced Tea. Then, I went to the restroom so that he could finish his bull-ish call. Also, I took the time to look in the mirror at myself trying to remember why I had left him in the first place. Blanks. When I got back to the table he had finished his call and my Long Island was waiting for me. I took a nice sip then began to speak from my heart and mind. I told him that I understand that I hurt him by leaving him 15 months earlier. That I understood that he did not twiddle his fingers in my absence and that he had obviously moved on. Further, because of the trauma of my last attempt at love, I really choose not to be the third wheel in any relationship, again. I am okay with being alone. In fact I prefer that rather than the bull-ish and possible infections that come with playing with a player.
Emphatically, he denied that he is involved and the call was just a congregant seeking information about an upcoming funeral. ‘Who do you think I am?’ Anyway, the night ended when he took me back home, no attempt to come inside or kiss. The next day I called him to tell him some exciting news, but I could tell he was in the company of a female. The next time I talked to him, he gave me this line of how he was so busy with the ministry and what God is doing in his life that he does not have time for anything else.
My question, what are your thoughts on this scenario? Honestly, based on my last relationship, I am not a proponent of lost love returning. If the relationship ended there was usually a reason for it. Like Lot’s wife, don’t look back unless you like being salted. – Almost The Pastor’s Wife
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-dated-the-pastor-dumped-him-moved-on-but-did-i-do-the-right-thing/
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
To Start Off 2011 Powerful, Amazing, and Fabulous...
In 2011 it's time to reclaim your life, power, and self. So, start the New Year being your Fabulous, Amazing, Powerful, and Beautiful Self! No more drama, stress, or "why me's." It's time to say, WHY NOT ME! I AM SMART. I AM GREAT. I AM TALENTED. I AM LOVABLE. I AM PROSPEROUS. I AM FABULOUS. I AM DIVINE. I AM ORDERING THE NEW BOOK, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND.
Go ahead, click on the link:
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I’m so stressed out, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel as if I have lost my way since I lost my grandmother. She used to keep me close to God. It’s only been a year since she’s been gone, and it’s been nothing but pure hell.
I’m arguing with family. I stop chilling with my girlfriends because they pissed me off. I was the one who would never take a cigarette, and now I’m smoking. I will be 22-years old next week. Why am I stressing at a young age? Aren’t I supposed to be enjoying my life, praising God and having fun? I don’t know what the hell is happening to me.
Take my sister, for example, she is so bitter that all her problems are everybody’s problems, including me. As soon as she gets out of bed in the morning, she is angry, like she is mad at the whole world. I am this close to knocking her on her ass. My mom and sister are always arguing. I’m just waiting for her to touch Mom and I will beat her to a bloody pulp. That is not a threat baby! It is a promise because I will do it. She acts like a child trapped in a grown woman’s body. I can’t take her at all. Sometimes I wish I can just leave and don’t look back.
As for my mother, she never does the things that she says she is going to do. I give my mother money when she needs it, if I can spare it, and she takes the money and gives it to her boyfriend. I was so mad at her. If I give my mother money or anything of mine, it’s for her, not him, because she is my mother. I can’t take care of him or anybody else. Does that make me selfish?
Bottom line is I’m getting tired of giving, and people giving me their ass to kiss. It’s the holidays and I’m upset and stressed out. My birthday is right around the corner. I want to at least be happy for that. So here is my question, How do I avoid family drama? How do I tell my sister to change her ways without having to use my fist? I can’t take it anymore and my mother can’t take it anymore. Please educate me on this one before I end up doing something I will regret. – My Family Is Getting On My Nerves
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/lifestyle/terrancedean/my-family-is-stressing-me-out-and-my-sister-is-close-to-getting-a-beatdown/
I’m so stressed out, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel as if I have lost my way since I lost my grandmother. She used to keep me close to God. It’s only been a year since she’s been gone, and it’s been nothing but pure hell.
I’m arguing with family. I stop chilling with my girlfriends because they pissed me off. I was the one who would never take a cigarette, and now I’m smoking. I will be 22-years old next week. Why am I stressing at a young age? Aren’t I supposed to be enjoying my life, praising God and having fun? I don’t know what the hell is happening to me.
Take my sister, for example, she is so bitter that all her problems are everybody’s problems, including me. As soon as she gets out of bed in the morning, she is angry, like she is mad at the whole world. I am this close to knocking her on her ass. My mom and sister are always arguing. I’m just waiting for her to touch Mom and I will beat her to a bloody pulp. That is not a threat baby! It is a promise because I will do it. She acts like a child trapped in a grown woman’s body. I can’t take her at all. Sometimes I wish I can just leave and don’t look back.
As for my mother, she never does the things that she says she is going to do. I give my mother money when she needs it, if I can spare it, and she takes the money and gives it to her boyfriend. I was so mad at her. If I give my mother money or anything of mine, it’s for her, not him, because she is my mother. I can’t take care of him or anybody else. Does that make me selfish?
Bottom line is I’m getting tired of giving, and people giving me their ass to kiss. It’s the holidays and I’m upset and stressed out. My birthday is right around the corner. I want to at least be happy for that. So here is my question, How do I avoid family drama? How do I tell my sister to change her ways without having to use my fist? I can’t take it anymore and my mother can’t take it anymore. Please educate me on this one before I end up doing something I will regret. – My Family Is Getting On My Nerves
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/lifestyle/terrancedean/my-family-is-stressing-me-out-and-my-sister-is-close-to-getting-a-beatdown/
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have a question for you. So, I met this guy and at first I was going to him to get a personal training, but we had this weird connection. He then started inviting me to church functions, activities that him and his friends do on the weekends, and other events. He wanted to know about me and also suggested meeting my parents. I guess I am trying to see if he likes me. He has even decided to invite himself to movie night at our house. The problem is all of these functions are in groups and we have never had one-on-one interaction. He singles me out when we are in the group, and I guess I was thinking this is how Christians date. He calls and texts, but nothing is official. I am not going to express to him that I like him because I think that is not what a woman should do. I stopped training with him because I felt it was a conflict of interest and I do not want to sleep with him and then he hits the road. I am not sure if he likes me like that or what? What is it that I need to do? I feel like I have worked on myself. I work at a really good job, I graduate in May, and I am emotionally and physically ready. – Does He Like Me
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-invites-me-to-spend-time-together-in-group-settings-but-does-he-like-me/
I have a question for you. So, I met this guy and at first I was going to him to get a personal training, but we had this weird connection. He then started inviting me to church functions, activities that him and his friends do on the weekends, and other events. He wanted to know about me and also suggested meeting my parents. I guess I am trying to see if he likes me. He has even decided to invite himself to movie night at our house. The problem is all of these functions are in groups and we have never had one-on-one interaction. He singles me out when we are in the group, and I guess I was thinking this is how Christians date. He calls and texts, but nothing is official. I am not going to express to him that I like him because I think that is not what a woman should do. I stopped training with him because I felt it was a conflict of interest and I do not want to sleep with him and then he hits the road. I am not sure if he likes me like that or what? What is it that I need to do? I feel like I have worked on myself. I work at a really good job, I graduate in May, and I am emotionally and physically ready. – Does He Like Me
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-invites-me-to-spend-time-together-in-group-settings-but-does-he-like-me/
Today Is, "He Can Get It" Wednesday: Darryl...
His modeling career began shortly after he finished his service in the military. He had just moved back to New Jersey and his sister was very big into fashion shows and she was looking to pursue modeling. Darryl accompanied her to a casting one day and as they sat in the room full of prospects a scout came out to verify the cast list. When Darryl went unaccounted for on the list the scout asked if he planned to audition. He replied, “No.” The scout said that he should and the room agreed, so Darryl was pretty much forced to apply despite his reluctance. And, he’s been modeling ever since.
When Darryl is not modeling he is an entrepreneur. He is a personal trainer/businessman. He trains clients whenever he has the opportunity. “There is no better gratification than giving someone the gift of being fit and healthy,” Darryl said. “That kind of liberation leads to greatness in other areas of their lives. I’m happy to be able to impact others.” Darryl helps to run a health food restaurant concept in the Chelsea area. “I try to incorporate a healthier approach into everything that
You can read and see more of Darryl, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/he-can-get-it/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-darryl/
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
My husband and I have been married for eight years, but we’ve been together for ten years. Over the years he has done some awful things to me. You name it he has done it, cheat, lie, steal, physically abusive, and verbally abusive. He has walked out on me five times. He has stayed out all night several times (with another woman which he claims nothing ever happened because they’re just friends). He constantly tells me about who he’s attracted to and who he wants to have sex with. He has invited women to our home and had them in my car. I can go on and on.
Finally, after all of these years of pain I have had enough. We are separating soon and I plan to file for a divorce ASAP. My question is I have this yearning to know why he has done all of these things to me. How can he do all these things to me? He says it’s because at the beginning of our relationship, and before we were married or even lived together, I slept with my baby daddy whom I was living with at the time, but was on the verge of ending that abusive relationship.
I just can’t believe that he would do all of those evil things to me because of that incident. I continue to want an explanation but have gotten the same response every time I’ve asked. I’m moving on, but for some reason I just want to understand why and how could he have done these things to me. How can I get over this yearning and say, “Oh, well, it is what it is.” Please HELP – I Just Don’t Get It
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/hes-lied-cheated-stole-and-beat-me-and-i-want-to-know-why/
My husband and I have been married for eight years, but we’ve been together for ten years. Over the years he has done some awful things to me. You name it he has done it, cheat, lie, steal, physically abusive, and verbally abusive. He has walked out on me five times. He has stayed out all night several times (with another woman which he claims nothing ever happened because they’re just friends). He constantly tells me about who he’s attracted to and who he wants to have sex with. He has invited women to our home and had them in my car. I can go on and on.
Finally, after all of these years of pain I have had enough. We are separating soon and I plan to file for a divorce ASAP. My question is I have this yearning to know why he has done all of these things to me. How can he do all these things to me? He says it’s because at the beginning of our relationship, and before we were married or even lived together, I slept with my baby daddy whom I was living with at the time, but was on the verge of ending that abusive relationship.
I just can’t believe that he would do all of those evil things to me because of that incident. I continue to want an explanation but have gotten the same response every time I’ve asked. I’m moving on, but for some reason I just want to understand why and how could he have done these things to me. How can I get over this yearning and say, “Oh, well, it is what it is.” Please HELP – I Just Don’t Get It
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/hes-lied-cheated-stole-and-beat-me-and-i-want-to-know-why/
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
Back in Jan. 2009 I went to a month long school for my job and I met this female. At first I didn’t pay her any attention until she started going out of her way to talk to and be around me. This female would always stop by my room, always come sit with me at dinner and always show up at the places I would hang out. On the night before graduation she finally told me she thought I was very attractive and was interested in me. I am a female myself and I had thoughts of being with another female but never acted on them. The fact that she was interested in me didn’t affect me too much because me and her lived three hours apart and she was already engaged, and claimed to be so in love with a guy. We said we would remain friends and keep in touch.
On the ride back home I received a text message from her saying how she wanted to get to know me better and was willing to work something out. Over the next few days I received calls and text messages from her every day. That following weekend was Valentine’s Day and she asked if she could come see me. Even though I said sure, I didn’t know why she would rather spend time with me on Valentine’s Day other than her fiancé. She comes on V-Day bearing gifts. That was the best weekend of my adulthood. We laughed, we talked and I had my first sexual experience with a female and it was wonderful.
Of course after that we grew closer. She came to visit almost every weekend and our “friendship” grew. I would ask her about her fiancé and of course he would call while we were spending time together, and she would ignore the calls. She would say she didn’t want to be with him and planned on returning his ring to him. She did exactly what she said she would, called the engagement off and returned the ring.
A few weeks passed and we continued to do what we did. Until one day that all came to an end. She called me and told me that she couldn’t do this anymore. That God was watching and that she needed to be with a guy, she needed to be with her ex-fiance. For maybe a month, she went back and forth between us two. He finally emailed me one day asking what’s going on with us. He also stated that he knew she didn’t want to be with him and wasn’t in love with him anymore since she met me. I also knew this was true, but she wanted to live right. She changed her email address, changed her cell number, and cut off all communication with me. I was devastated because she was my first and I knew she loved me.
Months later she begun to email me again and I didn’t reply. I couldn’t reply, she hurt me too deeply. Over the past year and a half they got married and she has started back communicating with me on and off. The past two weeks have been more than usual. At first it was on a friendship level but slowly she has begun to express her remaining feelings for me. She says she hates that she hurt me and that she was influenced by outsiders. We are definitely miles apart now due to the fact that my job moved me to another country. The past two weeks she has been emailing me everyday asking me to get on web cam with her and I have been doing so. I try not to be so available for her or let my feeling show but deep down inside I am ecstatic that she is communicating with me so often. She tells me, “I still love you and I couldn’t stop thinking about you over the months that’s why I kept emailing you.” She also tells me she plans on getting a divorce and wants to come back to me.
I know she loved me. I think she still cares for me and she’s right, she does keep returning to my life, but she is now a married woman with a different name. She sent me a message and told me to check my email. I checked it and it was naked pictures of her. I thought to myself, ‘What would her husband say if he knew she was sending these pictures to me?’ I am keeping all the pics and emails so if something comes up with him I can show him that his wife approached me and all the things she sent and have said to me. Am I wrong for planning to do something like that? What should I do? Sometimes I think she is playing with my heart because she comes and goes from my life as she pleases. When she didn’t want to talk to me she didn’t and made it where I couldn’t contact her. But now she wants to talk and she’s emailing and texting so often. Do I let her back in my life or should I tell her that we can only have a friendship and I don’t want to hear all the extras? I don’t think I’m in love with her anymore, but I will always love her because she was my first. – She Keeps Coming Back
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/she-seduced-me-dumped-me-got-married-and-now-shes-trying-to-come-back/
Back in Jan. 2009 I went to a month long school for my job and I met this female. At first I didn’t pay her any attention until she started going out of her way to talk to and be around me. This female would always stop by my room, always come sit with me at dinner and always show up at the places I would hang out. On the night before graduation she finally told me she thought I was very attractive and was interested in me. I am a female myself and I had thoughts of being with another female but never acted on them. The fact that she was interested in me didn’t affect me too much because me and her lived three hours apart and she was already engaged, and claimed to be so in love with a guy. We said we would remain friends and keep in touch.
On the ride back home I received a text message from her saying how she wanted to get to know me better and was willing to work something out. Over the next few days I received calls and text messages from her every day. That following weekend was Valentine’s Day and she asked if she could come see me. Even though I said sure, I didn’t know why she would rather spend time with me on Valentine’s Day other than her fiancé. She comes on V-Day bearing gifts. That was the best weekend of my adulthood. We laughed, we talked and I had my first sexual experience with a female and it was wonderful.
Of course after that we grew closer. She came to visit almost every weekend and our “friendship” grew. I would ask her about her fiancé and of course he would call while we were spending time together, and she would ignore the calls. She would say she didn’t want to be with him and planned on returning his ring to him. She did exactly what she said she would, called the engagement off and returned the ring.
A few weeks passed and we continued to do what we did. Until one day that all came to an end. She called me and told me that she couldn’t do this anymore. That God was watching and that she needed to be with a guy, she needed to be with her ex-fiance. For maybe a month, she went back and forth between us two. He finally emailed me one day asking what’s going on with us. He also stated that he knew she didn’t want to be with him and wasn’t in love with him anymore since she met me. I also knew this was true, but she wanted to live right. She changed her email address, changed her cell number, and cut off all communication with me. I was devastated because she was my first and I knew she loved me.
Months later she begun to email me again and I didn’t reply. I couldn’t reply, she hurt me too deeply. Over the past year and a half they got married and she has started back communicating with me on and off. The past two weeks have been more than usual. At first it was on a friendship level but slowly she has begun to express her remaining feelings for me. She says she hates that she hurt me and that she was influenced by outsiders. We are definitely miles apart now due to the fact that my job moved me to another country. The past two weeks she has been emailing me everyday asking me to get on web cam with her and I have been doing so. I try not to be so available for her or let my feeling show but deep down inside I am ecstatic that she is communicating with me so often. She tells me, “I still love you and I couldn’t stop thinking about you over the months that’s why I kept emailing you.” She also tells me she plans on getting a divorce and wants to come back to me.
I know she loved me. I think she still cares for me and she’s right, she does keep returning to my life, but she is now a married woman with a different name. She sent me a message and told me to check my email. I checked it and it was naked pictures of her. I thought to myself, ‘What would her husband say if he knew she was sending these pictures to me?’ I am keeping all the pics and emails so if something comes up with him I can show him that his wife approached me and all the things she sent and have said to me. Am I wrong for planning to do something like that? What should I do? Sometimes I think she is playing with my heart because she comes and goes from my life as she pleases. When she didn’t want to talk to me she didn’t and made it where I couldn’t contact her. But now she wants to talk and she’s emailing and texting so often. Do I let her back in my life or should I tell her that we can only have a friendship and I don’t want to hear all the extras? I don’t think I’m in love with her anymore, but I will always love her because she was my first. – She Keeps Coming Back
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/she-seduced-me-dumped-me-got-married-and-now-shes-trying-to-come-back/
Monday, December 20, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
Okay, I’ll try to sum this up quick. I’ll give you the key points.
There’s a girl, and we went to high school together. We graduated in 2005. We never really talked or even talked once in high school. Recently, she sent me a message through Facebook. I replied, and at one point I ended up telling her to text my phone so we can keep talking. She did, and we started to text back and forth daily, and often. At first it was nothing really. She even tried setting me up with one of her friends, which I turned down. So I asked her the same, trying to feel out her situation and our situation. She also turned it down, and said she doesn’t have time, and nor does she want a boyfriend.
We kept talking, and then one time in reply to some of the things she was saying, I said, “I think you do need a boyfriend.” Her attitude toward a situation with her friend and cousin made me say she needed to get laid, but I didn’t say it so bluntly. She seemed jealous her friend was getting a guys attention, even though it’s her cousin. Her friend ditched her for him. And, there were other things a boyfriend could have solved for her. She kept saying no. Well, one night, where she had something to drink, she sent a text saying, “You’re right, I could use one.” But since then she has played it down.
As time went on I realized that this was a real cool girl, and that I really enjoyed talking to her. She’s way different than any girl I ever dated, ever had a crush on, or even kicked it with mentally and physically. That’s pretty much the background. The question is what is she looking for or want? I can usually tell, but she doesn’t have the game normal girls have, and she isn’t real flirtatious. She’s really shy. I just don’t know what to do. Should I keep it as it is, or ask her out and risk what we have now? – Trying To Make A Move
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/shes-piqued-my-interest-but-i-dont-know-if-i-should-ask-her-out/
Okay, I’ll try to sum this up quick. I’ll give you the key points.
There’s a girl, and we went to high school together. We graduated in 2005. We never really talked or even talked once in high school. Recently, she sent me a message through Facebook. I replied, and at one point I ended up telling her to text my phone so we can keep talking. She did, and we started to text back and forth daily, and often. At first it was nothing really. She even tried setting me up with one of her friends, which I turned down. So I asked her the same, trying to feel out her situation and our situation. She also turned it down, and said she doesn’t have time, and nor does she want a boyfriend.
We kept talking, and then one time in reply to some of the things she was saying, I said, “I think you do need a boyfriend.” Her attitude toward a situation with her friend and cousin made me say she needed to get laid, but I didn’t say it so bluntly. She seemed jealous her friend was getting a guys attention, even though it’s her cousin. Her friend ditched her for him. And, there were other things a boyfriend could have solved for her. She kept saying no. Well, one night, where she had something to drink, she sent a text saying, “You’re right, I could use one.” But since then she has played it down.
As time went on I realized that this was a real cool girl, and that I really enjoyed talking to her. She’s way different than any girl I ever dated, ever had a crush on, or even kicked it with mentally and physically. That’s pretty much the background. The question is what is she looking for or want? I can usually tell, but she doesn’t have the game normal girls have, and she isn’t real flirtatious. She’s really shy. I just don’t know what to do. Should I keep it as it is, or ask her out and risk what we have now? – Trying To Make A Move
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/shes-piqued-my-interest-but-i-dont-know-if-i-should-ask-her-out/
Have You Gotten Your Copy, Yet?
What are you waiting for? Get it today for yourself, friend, family, co-workers, or your BFF!
You can order it today, HERE:
http://www.amazon.com/Straight-Your-Best-Friend-Relationships/dp/1932841563/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1288122001&sr=1-1
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day.....
Dear Gay Best Friend,
Ok, I will try to get to the point. I have been in a relationship with this girl for two years now. I have a daughter who is 12-years old, and her son is 3-years old. We get along so great, when she really acts right. But, our sex life is difficult! When we’re at it, it’s the best in the world, but why is it so hard to get?
I feel like I’m not attractive enough, or I don’t meet any type of expectations she has. But, I’m supposed to be the best. Hell, I give her the love business and the thug business, and my tongue is beyond mystical, kinda Holy Ghost style. LOL! But, I just don’t understand. I’m always chasing her, doing for her and her son. I go completely out of my way and I sacrifice everything, and I can’t get a thank you, or, “You’re the best and let me do you good tonight.” I don’t even get, “You’re my everything.” I gets nothing, but let something bad happen and I’m all that because I fix the problem. I don’t wanna go another year frustrated thinking she really wants me and I find out this has been all lies. Her son calls me daddy and he don’t even do it for the real one. Man, I’ve done everything, and communication just ain’t it. I’ve spoken, demanded, and I’m tired! What the devil should I do? – Getting Tired Of My Girl
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-do-everything-for-my-girl-but-she-doesnt-appreciate-me/
Ok, I will try to get to the point. I have been in a relationship with this girl for two years now. I have a daughter who is 12-years old, and her son is 3-years old. We get along so great, when she really acts right. But, our sex life is difficult! When we’re at it, it’s the best in the world, but why is it so hard to get?
I feel like I’m not attractive enough, or I don’t meet any type of expectations she has. But, I’m supposed to be the best. Hell, I give her the love business and the thug business, and my tongue is beyond mystical, kinda Holy Ghost style. LOL! But, I just don’t understand. I’m always chasing her, doing for her and her son. I go completely out of my way and I sacrifice everything, and I can’t get a thank you, or, “You’re the best and let me do you good tonight.” I don’t even get, “You’re my everything.” I gets nothing, but let something bad happen and I’m all that because I fix the problem. I don’t wanna go another year frustrated thinking she really wants me and I find out this has been all lies. Her son calls me daddy and he don’t even do it for the real one. Man, I’ve done everything, and communication just ain’t it. I’ve spoken, demanded, and I’m tired! What the devil should I do? – Getting Tired Of My Girl
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-do-everything-for-my-girl-but-she-doesnt-appreciate-me/
Friday, December 17, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have been in a relationship with this man for two months. We attended college together. He was interested in me, but at that time in my life I was currently in a relationship. After we graduated he always managed to stay in contact with me (via Facebook or text message). The conversation was always short and brief. I had no idea that he was interested in me until August 2010. He texted me and told me to give him a call and I did!
I stay in Chicago and he stays in St. Louis. He has a 10-year old daughter and I have a 1-year old son. He has come to see me and vice-versa. He has his own business, and he has football tournaments across various states. That is a big thing to him. And he is a high school History teacher/basketball coach (for his daughter’s team and high school). I am a speech pathologist assistant (I work 6 days a week), have my own business, and I am a single mother, raising my child along with God.
Where my concern comes in is at is his lack of communication and “false hope.” In the beginning we would talk on the phone at least twice or three times a day. When he had his tournament Labor Day weekend we didn’t talk as much, but he sent texts. But, now I get a text for the entire day, two if I’m lucky. This week I only heard his voice once. I drove to St. Louis last weekend and when I got there he was on the damn phone. Some things are business, others are crap with random people that can obviously wait because I am there. But when he is in Chicago visiting me I make time for him even if I have to work. One particular time he raised hell because that weekend was my ex-fiance’s mom’s funeral. I still went to work and was called into the office afterward for brief meeting. When I got home he was upset and expressed his feelings. Then we spent the whole day together and the rest of the weekend, as well as many visits after that. And, that’s because obviously I understand you have to be fair in a relationship.
Some might think this is insecure feelings that I have, or just being spoiled. I feel I dated and engaged in terrible relationships I had no business in (that include my son’s father). But, I’ve learned from my own mistakes and their ridiculous behavior. I have forgiven and moved on. But, I will not go through the same crap again, especially when I see it coming. I want to talk to him after this project he has. I have feelings and needs, too. I am very aware of the distance, but I am willing to put my best foot forward, despite what is going on in my life. I walked that road of feeling alone in relationship.
I feel that he should do the same. I feel I’m being taken for granted. I feel a sense of false hope, because he doesn’t even offer to pay for me to come there. But he said all that in the beginning. I just feel he doesn’t want to give any energy to the relationship. Then why be in a relationship? Why waste your time? Why did you approach me and open up to me?
All I know is, I’m not in a rush to get married and I wasn’t in rush to be in a relationship. I saw something that I didn’t see. It was trust and he is good guy. I know I can trust him around my son. But, eventually I want to be married and have more children. I want to be able to share my relationship with God, and my life, career, and for him to be a Father to our children. Why do guys take things for granted? Guys feel like they don’t have to put that much energy or time anymore into the relationship that they once did before. I know it is early and I should give it time. But, my time is important also. I hate the excuses that I hear, “He is just a man.” How about he is a human being and we should be considerate and be responsible. What should I do? Because, I don’t want to get rid of a good man? (I understand the hustle, drive, and the willpower) Or, do I walk away from it all? – Taken For Granted
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-really-needs-to-step-it-up-or-im-stepping-out/
I have been in a relationship with this man for two months. We attended college together. He was interested in me, but at that time in my life I was currently in a relationship. After we graduated he always managed to stay in contact with me (via Facebook or text message). The conversation was always short and brief. I had no idea that he was interested in me until August 2010. He texted me and told me to give him a call and I did!
I stay in Chicago and he stays in St. Louis. He has a 10-year old daughter and I have a 1-year old son. He has come to see me and vice-versa. He has his own business, and he has football tournaments across various states. That is a big thing to him. And he is a high school History teacher/basketball coach (for his daughter’s team and high school). I am a speech pathologist assistant (I work 6 days a week), have my own business, and I am a single mother, raising my child along with God.
Where my concern comes in is at is his lack of communication and “false hope.” In the beginning we would talk on the phone at least twice or three times a day. When he had his tournament Labor Day weekend we didn’t talk as much, but he sent texts. But, now I get a text for the entire day, two if I’m lucky. This week I only heard his voice once. I drove to St. Louis last weekend and when I got there he was on the damn phone. Some things are business, others are crap with random people that can obviously wait because I am there. But when he is in Chicago visiting me I make time for him even if I have to work. One particular time he raised hell because that weekend was my ex-fiance’s mom’s funeral. I still went to work and was called into the office afterward for brief meeting. When I got home he was upset and expressed his feelings. Then we spent the whole day together and the rest of the weekend, as well as many visits after that. And, that’s because obviously I understand you have to be fair in a relationship.
Some might think this is insecure feelings that I have, or just being spoiled. I feel I dated and engaged in terrible relationships I had no business in (that include my son’s father). But, I’ve learned from my own mistakes and their ridiculous behavior. I have forgiven and moved on. But, I will not go through the same crap again, especially when I see it coming. I want to talk to him after this project he has. I have feelings and needs, too. I am very aware of the distance, but I am willing to put my best foot forward, despite what is going on in my life. I walked that road of feeling alone in relationship.
I feel that he should do the same. I feel I’m being taken for granted. I feel a sense of false hope, because he doesn’t even offer to pay for me to come there. But he said all that in the beginning. I just feel he doesn’t want to give any energy to the relationship. Then why be in a relationship? Why waste your time? Why did you approach me and open up to me?
All I know is, I’m not in a rush to get married and I wasn’t in rush to be in a relationship. I saw something that I didn’t see. It was trust and he is good guy. I know I can trust him around my son. But, eventually I want to be married and have more children. I want to be able to share my relationship with God, and my life, career, and for him to be a Father to our children. Why do guys take things for granted? Guys feel like they don’t have to put that much energy or time anymore into the relationship that they once did before. I know it is early and I should give it time. But, my time is important also. I hate the excuses that I hear, “He is just a man.” How about he is a human being and we should be considerate and be responsible. What should I do? Because, I don’t want to get rid of a good man? (I understand the hustle, drive, and the willpower) Or, do I walk away from it all? – Taken For Granted
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-really-needs-to-step-it-up-or-im-stepping-out/
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Check Out This Interview I Did With YAZMAR.COM...
Bestselling Author, Terrance Dean follows up his groundbreaking and contreversial book, "Hiding In Hip-Hop" with a sassy, and informative must read, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend". There comes a time, when all women need an alternate perspective on how to detect a cheating man, fashion tips, the woes of relationships or spiritual advice . Luckily, I got a second chance to speak with the witty former MTV Staffer, and ladies Mr. Dean is offering up valuable free advice, straight no chaser about down low men, career, life, family and love. Please take mental notes….
Yazmar: What's the overall premise of this book?
Terrance: To provide women with a sense of remembering who they are, as it relates to their own self esteem and self worth. I think every woman needs to be reminded of that. She deserves to have greatness, and have everything she desires and when it comes to relationships. I think every woman deserves to have a gay best friend, someone in their life who will give them that straight up truth about men, life, and relationships.
Yazmar: Do you find that African American women, or women period have greater difficulty in seeking and keeping friendships/intimate relationships as white women.
Terrance: Wow, that's a very heavy and loaded question. One could attribute it to race, but I've met so many women ho have difficulty and challenges in dating and relationships from all cultures and backgrounds. Do I think African American women have it a little harder, speaking of the African American man? I would say so, because there are more challenges and obstacles. Theirs the social economic status that's a factor and so many other "isms" that play into who we are as people of color. The fatherless rate, and single mothers raising children, and young men who aren't in college as oppose to in prison…So it is difficult to find a suitable mate, because of standards and social stigmas that say this is what women should have, and if you don't have that then women will say "What's wrong with me". Society and what you see on TV/Media perpetuate what you should have. Again, the incarceration rate is much higher for African American men. It just depends on what your desires are, and what you need from a mate.
Yazmar: Why do you think African American women are prone to unfulfilling relationships, be it friends or lovers?
Terrance: I think that's a human condition (laughs). Trust their are a lot of lonely men out there too. I think people are looking for something, and they just aren't sure what their looking for. I think people are unfulfilled in love. African American and Latino communities are hit the hardest with HIV/AIDS, and I attribute that to we dont love ourselves. When you have less of, thus it creates this desire to want more of something more unfulfilling within yourself, so we resort to eating unhealthy and that's why we obesity in our community. People are having unprotected sex, because they are searching for something outside of themselves to fulfil a void within themselves. You have to love yourself first, then you won't resort or allow others to come in and dictate to you about what your self worth and value is.
You can read the full interview, HERE:
http://www.yazmar.com/2010/12/14/terrence-deanstraight-from-your-gay-best-friend/
Yazmar: What's the overall premise of this book?
Terrance: To provide women with a sense of remembering who they are, as it relates to their own self esteem and self worth. I think every woman needs to be reminded of that. She deserves to have greatness, and have everything she desires and when it comes to relationships. I think every woman deserves to have a gay best friend, someone in their life who will give them that straight up truth about men, life, and relationships.
Yazmar: Do you find that African American women, or women period have greater difficulty in seeking and keeping friendships/intimate relationships as white women.
Terrance: Wow, that's a very heavy and loaded question. One could attribute it to race, but I've met so many women ho have difficulty and challenges in dating and relationships from all cultures and backgrounds. Do I think African American women have it a little harder, speaking of the African American man? I would say so, because there are more challenges and obstacles. Theirs the social economic status that's a factor and so many other "isms" that play into who we are as people of color. The fatherless rate, and single mothers raising children, and young men who aren't in college as oppose to in prison…So it is difficult to find a suitable mate, because of standards and social stigmas that say this is what women should have, and if you don't have that then women will say "What's wrong with me". Society and what you see on TV/Media perpetuate what you should have. Again, the incarceration rate is much higher for African American men. It just depends on what your desires are, and what you need from a mate.
Yazmar: Why do you think African American women are prone to unfulfilling relationships, be it friends or lovers?
Terrance: I think that's a human condition (laughs). Trust their are a lot of lonely men out there too. I think people are looking for something, and they just aren't sure what their looking for. I think people are unfulfilled in love. African American and Latino communities are hit the hardest with HIV/AIDS, and I attribute that to we dont love ourselves. When you have less of, thus it creates this desire to want more of something more unfulfilling within yourself, so we resort to eating unhealthy and that's why we obesity in our community. People are having unprotected sex, because they are searching for something outside of themselves to fulfil a void within themselves. You have to love yourself first, then you won't resort or allow others to come in and dictate to you about what your self worth and value is.
You can read the full interview, HERE:
http://www.yazmar.com/2010/12/14/terrence-deanstraight-from-your-gay-best-friend/
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we’ve had our ups and downs like every relationship does. His mother passed away recently and now everything has changed. He cheated on me and I asked him why would he betray me like that and his response was that every since his moms passed girls have been pushing up on him and he doesn’t know what to do! And, every time I call him he ignores my calls and text. Now there’s no trust. I love him, but I don’t know what to do. Should I leave him or should I stay? – I’m Getting Fed Up
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/my-mans-mother-died-hes-acting-out-sexually-with-other-women/
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we’ve had our ups and downs like every relationship does. His mother passed away recently and now everything has changed. He cheated on me and I asked him why would he betray me like that and his response was that every since his moms passed girls have been pushing up on him and he doesn’t know what to do! And, every time I call him he ignores my calls and text. Now there’s no trust. I love him, but I don’t know what to do. Should I leave him or should I stay? – I’m Getting Fed Up
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/my-mans-mother-died-hes-acting-out-sexually-with-other-women/
Today Is, "He Can Get It" Wednesday: Ben Azinga
Ben was discovered as a model Mr. Jones of “Jones Model & Talent” during New York Fashion Week 2009. Mr. Jones spotted him the crowd and offered Ben a deal with this model & talent company, and as they say, the rest is history.
Ben is currently in college, and works part-time. His modeling career is taking off and he says he plans to pursue both modeling and acting full-time.
You can read and see more of Ben, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/he-can-get-it/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-ben/
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have been with this guy for almost a year now but I’m not his girlfriend. Confused, right? Well so am I. He says he doesn’t desire a relationship and is very content with our connection and special friendship. He also promised that he is and will be real with me. I also got the “I love you but I’m not in love with you” line. After a year, I don’t know what holds him back from moving forward. I’m so confused right now. What’s your input? – Just Wondering
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-said-he-loves-me-but-is-not-in-love-with-me-do-i-stick-around/
I have been with this guy for almost a year now but I’m not his girlfriend. Confused, right? Well so am I. He says he doesn’t desire a relationship and is very content with our connection and special friendship. He also promised that he is and will be real with me. I also got the “I love you but I’m not in love with you” line. After a year, I don’t know what holds him back from moving forward. I’m so confused right now. What’s your input? – Just Wondering
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-said-he-loves-me-but-is-not-in-love-with-me-do-i-stick-around/
Monday, December 13, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have a question for you. I have a god-sister that’s constantly in competition with me, but she claim she’s her own woman even though I know better!!
She tries to do everything I do from the style of pictures I have online, to the way I dress, and even the guys I date! I really am so confused. Could you please help me understand what’s going on? I’m 22 and she’s 28 years old. What’s really good with that picture? – She’s Copying My Style
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/lifestyle/terrancedean/im-irritated-that-my-god-sister-always-copies-my-style/
I have a question for you. I have a god-sister that’s constantly in competition with me, but she claim she’s her own woman even though I know better!!
She tries to do everything I do from the style of pictures I have online, to the way I dress, and even the guys I date! I really am so confused. Could you please help me understand what’s going on? I’m 22 and she’s 28 years old. What’s really good with that picture? – She’s Copying My Style
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/lifestyle/terrancedean/im-irritated-that-my-god-sister-always-copies-my-style/
Friday, December 10, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am a woman who absolutely enjoys pleasing a man orally, and I take it kind of seriously. If I’m going to do it, I wanna do it right. I’ve read books, asked advice, and even had a close male friend tutor me. There’s nothing like hands on learning.
But, the one thing that just can’t be taught is how to deep-throat. I have a special friend who is so big. Real talk! It’s so beautiful, but that bad boy is huge.
So, the problem is he really likes for me to take it all in my mouth. It’s no problem the other way. LOL! But, I can only get maybe half of it in my mouth before I’m ready to vomit. I have pathetic gag reflexes. Is there anything that can help me — Creams, breathing techniques, prayers, a pill, or yoga? Or, am I just gonna have to stick with the top half? — Fellatio Goddess in Training
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/they-say-bigger-is-better-but-im-not-sure/
I am a woman who absolutely enjoys pleasing a man orally, and I take it kind of seriously. If I’m going to do it, I wanna do it right. I’ve read books, asked advice, and even had a close male friend tutor me. There’s nothing like hands on learning.
But, the one thing that just can’t be taught is how to deep-throat. I have a special friend who is so big. Real talk! It’s so beautiful, but that bad boy is huge.
So, the problem is he really likes for me to take it all in my mouth. It’s no problem the other way. LOL! But, I can only get maybe half of it in my mouth before I’m ready to vomit. I have pathetic gag reflexes. Is there anything that can help me — Creams, breathing techniques, prayers, a pill, or yoga? Or, am I just gonna have to stick with the top half? — Fellatio Goddess in Training
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/they-say-bigger-is-better-but-im-not-sure/
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have been married for a very short period of time. Me, and my husband married November 30th, 2009. We argue about everything at least two times a week. He doesn’t trust me. He’s jealous of everyone I come into contact with and he thinks that I sleep around with my male co-workers. It doesn’t help that he was recently laid off and now things have gotten worse. He calls me out of my name in front of my children. When I want to leave he won’t let me leave. I am sick of this!!! Is this the way a marriage is supposed to be? He was locked up for 12 years for robbery and I feel his trust issue and paranoia has something to do with that.
I have tried to get him to go to marriage counseling, but he doesn’t believe he needs it. He says the answer is in the Bible – which I totally agree but it’s not working on his part. – Ready For Divorce
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/my-man-is-emotionally-mentally-abusive-and-i-want-a-divorce/
I have been married for a very short period of time. Me, and my husband married November 30th, 2009. We argue about everything at least two times a week. He doesn’t trust me. He’s jealous of everyone I come into contact with and he thinks that I sleep around with my male co-workers. It doesn’t help that he was recently laid off and now things have gotten worse. He calls me out of my name in front of my children. When I want to leave he won’t let me leave. I am sick of this!!! Is this the way a marriage is supposed to be? He was locked up for 12 years for robbery and I feel his trust issue and paranoia has something to do with that.
I have tried to get him to go to marriage counseling, but he doesn’t believe he needs it. He says the answer is in the Bible – which I totally agree but it’s not working on his part. – Ready For Divorce
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/my-man-is-emotionally-mentally-abusive-and-i-want-a-divorce/
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am a 40-year old woman. I decided to return to school to obtain my bachelors degree in sports psychology. I am working part- time and in school full-time until after graduation. I decided after so many things I have done wrong in past relationships to just commit to the care of my children.
This decision came with a reason. My son has some emotional problems due to the death of his father and my 17-year old daughter has a baby. I don’t want to bring a man in my life because my life is already crazy enough and to ask someone to step into my situation is a lot. I think my priorities are with my children and not with seeking a man, but I long for the company of a man, the touch, the conversation and all. I know I am doing what’s best for my family, but how do I cure the loneliness without involving my kids? – So Lonely
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-in-school-working-and-raising-my-family-but-im-lonely-and-want-to-be-with-a-man/
I am a 40-year old woman. I decided to return to school to obtain my bachelors degree in sports psychology. I am working part- time and in school full-time until after graduation. I decided after so many things I have done wrong in past relationships to just commit to the care of my children.
This decision came with a reason. My son has some emotional problems due to the death of his father and my 17-year old daughter has a baby. I don’t want to bring a man in my life because my life is already crazy enough and to ask someone to step into my situation is a lot. I think my priorities are with my children and not with seeking a man, but I long for the company of a man, the touch, the conversation and all. I know I am doing what’s best for my family, but how do I cure the loneliness without involving my kids? – So Lonely
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-in-school-working-and-raising-my-family-but-im-lonely-and-want-to-be-with-a-man/
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have a little problem. I have a male roommate and we were just friends when I first moved in. After a couple of months and a few conversations we found out that we were sexually attracted to each other.
I can be completely honest to say that I wasn’t expecting things to go down the way they did, but it happened. We had several sexual encounters and a pregnancy scare, and we both decided to call off all sexual deeds. A couple of months have passed since my roomie and I had intercourse. Now the conversation has gone from not wanting to be involved with me to wanting to marry his ex of two years. So, after hearing this, I moved on and started see another guy. My roommate found a condom wrapper on my floor and got extremely mad. He felt like I disrespected him and I don’t feel like I did.
So, now we have no communication and the house is not the same. We stay in our rooms and don’t speak at all. Please help me find a way to bring the peace back in the house. – A Stranger In My House
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-was-sleeping-with-my-roommate-but-it-ended-and-now-were-living-in-silence/
I have a little problem. I have a male roommate and we were just friends when I first moved in. After a couple of months and a few conversations we found out that we were sexually attracted to each other.
I can be completely honest to say that I wasn’t expecting things to go down the way they did, but it happened. We had several sexual encounters and a pregnancy scare, and we both decided to call off all sexual deeds. A couple of months have passed since my roomie and I had intercourse. Now the conversation has gone from not wanting to be involved with me to wanting to marry his ex of two years. So, after hearing this, I moved on and started see another guy. My roommate found a condom wrapper on my floor and got extremely mad. He felt like I disrespected him and I don’t feel like I did.
So, now we have no communication and the house is not the same. We stay in our rooms and don’t speak at all. Please help me find a way to bring the peace back in the house. – A Stranger In My House
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-was-sleeping-with-my-roommate-but-it-ended-and-now-were-living-in-silence/
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I’ve been with my man for about a year now. We met at a store near my school. When we first got together it was mainly to have sex. We hooked up about a week after we met. He got arrested and had to spend a year in jail. We wrote back and forth and his letters dripped with sweet promises.
My problem is since he’s been out (about 3 weeks now) we’ve hung out maybe once and it was at his house, where we both were falling in and out of sleep. We’ve had sex on a regular basis, but I am wondering if this is where it ends? Before he was arrested he asked me to be his lady and I accepted. We’ve talked about how we want the relationship to go, but I still feel like his sex partner. We don’t kiss too much and after we have sex he runs off and does his own thing. I am 20-years old, and will be turning 21 next month and he is 28-years old. Am I jumping to conclusions or should I just wait things out? Simply Confused Dee
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-asked-me-to-be-his-girl-but-when-he-got-out-of-jail-things-changed/
I’ve been with my man for about a year now. We met at a store near my school. When we first got together it was mainly to have sex. We hooked up about a week after we met. He got arrested and had to spend a year in jail. We wrote back and forth and his letters dripped with sweet promises.
My problem is since he’s been out (about 3 weeks now) we’ve hung out maybe once and it was at his house, where we both were falling in and out of sleep. We’ve had sex on a regular basis, but I am wondering if this is where it ends? Before he was arrested he asked me to be his lady and I accepted. We’ve talked about how we want the relationship to go, but I still feel like his sex partner. We don’t kiss too much and after we have sex he runs off and does his own thing. I am 20-years old, and will be turning 21 next month and he is 28-years old. Am I jumping to conclusions or should I just wait things out? Simply Confused Dee
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-asked-me-to-be-his-girl-but-when-he-got-out-of-jail-things-changed/
Today Is, "He Can Get It" Wednesday: Lamonte...
Lamonte began his modeling career a little over a year ago with encouragement from his family. Although, his main focus is acting and comedy, but he decided to do both as he was told that modeling and acting go hand-in-hand in various ways. It wasn’t until this past July that he was discovered. He found compatibility with Jones Model and Talent Management Agency.
After a year of searching through various modeling sites and going through the ropes of bad experiences with scams and business incompetence due to his inexperience, Lamonte took another shot at online casting calls. “The one that I came upon was that of Mr. Jones at a photo shoot on the Brooklyn Bridge,” Lamonte said. “I felt that it could possibly lead to me being represented as a model.” Long story short, Lamonte proved himself worthy and has established a prominent place in the agency. “I must add that I am proud, humbled, and blessed to be represented by an agency that not only manages, but befriends their models as well.”
You can read and see more of Lamonte, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/he-can-get-it/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-lamonte/
The Newest Issue of JUICY Magazine Is Out And I'm Dishing Advice To Tiny...
Make sure to pick up the latest issue of JUICY Magazine Jan/Feb 2011. It's on news stands everywhere. Or, at your favorite supermarket, drugstore, Wal-Mart, Border's, and Barnes & Noble Stores.
And, make sure to check out my column in each issue of the magazine. My column, STRAIGHT ADVICE FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND, is on page 28 in this issue. I give advice to Mrs. Tameka "Tiny" Cottle-Harris (T.I.'s wife) on their recent troubles.
Also, check out the great review of my book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND, found on page 89.
Lastly, if you haven't gotten your copy of my newest book, you can order it online at Amazon.com, or pick it up at your favorite bookstore. It makes a great stocking stuffer for the holidays!!
Be blessed,
Terrance
You can order my book, HERE:
http://www.amazon.com/Straight-Your-Best-Friend-Relationships/dp/1932841563/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1291820640&sr=1-1
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I’ve been in a relationship with a man for just under two years. We have been living together for the past nine months and we have an 11-month old son. I went on birth control after I gave birth to my son.
Later on me, and my boyfriend discussed that if I ever became pregnant again, I would have an abortion. Well, lo and behold, when my son was 9-months old, I found out I was three months pregnant. I went to the abortion clinic as we discussed, but at the end of the day I couldn’t do it.
So, now here we are, my man’s already threatened to leave me because I kept our baby, but he came around. Mainly because he doesn’t want to pay the enormous amount of child support. He’s completely detached from me, resenting every moment when we’re together. I am becoming more and more stressed out because he’s starting to stay out until 2 in the morning, and I caught him talking with an ex online.
This man is an excellent father, but turning out to be a non-supportive partner. I need to make this work. We sat down and promised that we would make things work. We’re moving into a bigger family home in 3 days, and I just want our family unit to be in sync. I’ve tried everything to make him realize that I am unhappy, from being completely open and frank, to disallowing him to be in the labor and delivery room. I’m doing something wrong, because I see no results. Please Gay Best Friend Help! – Pregnant and Stressed Out
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/were-expecting-our-second-child-but-i-dont-think-my-man-wants-to-be-a-family/
I’ve been in a relationship with a man for just under two years. We have been living together for the past nine months and we have an 11-month old son. I went on birth control after I gave birth to my son.
Later on me, and my boyfriend discussed that if I ever became pregnant again, I would have an abortion. Well, lo and behold, when my son was 9-months old, I found out I was three months pregnant. I went to the abortion clinic as we discussed, but at the end of the day I couldn’t do it.
So, now here we are, my man’s already threatened to leave me because I kept our baby, but he came around. Mainly because he doesn’t want to pay the enormous amount of child support. He’s completely detached from me, resenting every moment when we’re together. I am becoming more and more stressed out because he’s starting to stay out until 2 in the morning, and I caught him talking with an ex online.
This man is an excellent father, but turning out to be a non-supportive partner. I need to make this work. We sat down and promised that we would make things work. We’re moving into a bigger family home in 3 days, and I just want our family unit to be in sync. I’ve tried everything to make him realize that I am unhappy, from being completely open and frank, to disallowing him to be in the labor and delivery room. I’m doing something wrong, because I see no results. Please Gay Best Friend Help! – Pregnant and Stressed Out
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/were-expecting-our-second-child-but-i-dont-think-my-man-wants-to-be-a-family/
Monday, December 6, 2010
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I met this sister on line a few months ago and we started talking and communicating. The next thing I knew it was September 17th and we were getting married. I opened up and trusted her completely and fully with everything. Then all of a sudden her text messages to and from her friends started becoming more and more important. She began playing “Family Feud” and “Fast Money” on Facebook and they, too, became more important. And, I have to wait for her to get off the phone before I can get any attention.
True, I do own my own business, and I do work a lot. I have contracts going on every day, or at least twice a week, and I am also working on new contracts. I am older than she is by six years. I have children that are older than her child, as well as children that are younger than her child. I have female friends that are plutonic as well, and some that were more than just friends. Most of the ones that were more than friends resented me getting married and therefore have been ex-communicated. The ones that didn’t have a problem with me getting married are still friends. Most of them have talked to my wife on the phone, and there are some that she has met face to face and sat down for a conversation.
Now, we have been arguing for the past month and a half. She gets upset when I am in my office working on payroll and accounting, or setting up my schedule for the week so that I know what I have to do and when it has to be done by. She works as a traveling nurse and I am an IT Professional.
My wife had access to my business checking account until just recently when we had a big falling-out and she said that she wanted to get the marriage annulled. However, before I removed her access from my bank account she took money out of the account that I needed to use to get tools so that I could do an upcoming contract. Now, I am going to have to scramble to find the money to replace what she took out. Needless to say, I have changed all the access codes and passwords so that she can’t touch that money again. I also felt it was necessary to cancel her SAM’S Club card that was under my business.
Anyway, whenever we argue she wants to bring up my past relationships and things that took place in our past. However, when I bring things up from our past that she has done she tells me that it was in the past and that I should leave it alone. Can you say “Double Standard” and “Catch 22?” Anyway, she wants respect and love but will not give it. I finished a project with BCBS and took half of the money that I got from that contract and put it in our joint account to pay bills. Why did she come back in the house with new shoes? That money was to pay bills, not for her to buy new shoes, sandals, flip-flops or anything. No, her buying those items was not going to hurt us, but it is the principle of the matter that she should have made sure that the bills were taken care of first and then with what was left over she can do what she wanted to do.
Still, she says that I am controlling. She says that I am verbally abusive. She says that I have anger problems. I say that she is selfish. I say that she doesn’t think. I say that she is the one that is controlling. I say that she is abusive mentally, emotionally, and verbally.
I have told this woman things about my life that I have not told anyone, but everything that I tell her she takes it and uses it as ammunition to hurt me, then she wonders why I don’t tell her anything. Ladies, this is why men don’t tell you things that you may need to know. Some of you don’t know how to take that information and use it to help you understand your man, and why he does the things he does or doesn’t do, as well as why he acts and speaks the way that he does. You have to earn his trust and you can’t do that by calling him out of his name, giving low blows, and trying to dominate him!
Back to me, our last argument was about her bumping me while I was taking care of our puppy. I have a bad knee and she bumped me and made everything shift. I was in such pain and I was glad the wall was there to catch my fall. I got back up and threw water on her. Granted it was water from the puppies bowl, but water none the less. I didn’t put my hands on her, and I never touched her. However, I felt that she bumped me on purpose and in anger because I didn’t leave a job-site to bring her cigarettes. And, when I was on my way home, two hours after I finished the job, I called her and she asked me to repair her laptop before I did my paperwork and prepare these devices to be shipped back to the company. I told her that I had business first, then, I can concentrate on her laptop. Let me take care of financial things first. When I got home we were still on the phone and I had a big box unbeknownst to her. I asked her to come and open the door for me. She asstitudidly (ßNot misspelled, it is one of my custom words) told me to open the door myself because she was busy. I told her that I didn’t tell her that when she last asked me to come open the door for her and nor have I ever said that to her.
Anyway, she feels that I am the only one that does wrong. She doesn’t apologize when I tell her that she has hurt my feelings or that I feel that she has wronged me. Yet, I have never had a problem admitting that I was wrong or apologizing when she said that I hurt her feelings. Still, now when she comes to me with this I tell her to get a job so she can afford a life, get a grip, and then get over it! Am I wrong? Married And Suffering
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/we-met-online-months-ago-got-married-and-its-not-working/
I met this sister on line a few months ago and we started talking and communicating. The next thing I knew it was September 17th and we were getting married. I opened up and trusted her completely and fully with everything. Then all of a sudden her text messages to and from her friends started becoming more and more important. She began playing “Family Feud” and “Fast Money” on Facebook and they, too, became more important. And, I have to wait for her to get off the phone before I can get any attention.
True, I do own my own business, and I do work a lot. I have contracts going on every day, or at least twice a week, and I am also working on new contracts. I am older than she is by six years. I have children that are older than her child, as well as children that are younger than her child. I have female friends that are plutonic as well, and some that were more than just friends. Most of the ones that were more than friends resented me getting married and therefore have been ex-communicated. The ones that didn’t have a problem with me getting married are still friends. Most of them have talked to my wife on the phone, and there are some that she has met face to face and sat down for a conversation.
Now, we have been arguing for the past month and a half. She gets upset when I am in my office working on payroll and accounting, or setting up my schedule for the week so that I know what I have to do and when it has to be done by. She works as a traveling nurse and I am an IT Professional.
My wife had access to my business checking account until just recently when we had a big falling-out and she said that she wanted to get the marriage annulled. However, before I removed her access from my bank account she took money out of the account that I needed to use to get tools so that I could do an upcoming contract. Now, I am going to have to scramble to find the money to replace what she took out. Needless to say, I have changed all the access codes and passwords so that she can’t touch that money again. I also felt it was necessary to cancel her SAM’S Club card that was under my business.
Anyway, whenever we argue she wants to bring up my past relationships and things that took place in our past. However, when I bring things up from our past that she has done she tells me that it was in the past and that I should leave it alone. Can you say “Double Standard” and “Catch 22?” Anyway, she wants respect and love but will not give it. I finished a project with BCBS and took half of the money that I got from that contract and put it in our joint account to pay bills. Why did she come back in the house with new shoes? That money was to pay bills, not for her to buy new shoes, sandals, flip-flops or anything. No, her buying those items was not going to hurt us, but it is the principle of the matter that she should have made sure that the bills were taken care of first and then with what was left over she can do what she wanted to do.
Still, she says that I am controlling. She says that I am verbally abusive. She says that I have anger problems. I say that she is selfish. I say that she doesn’t think. I say that she is the one that is controlling. I say that she is abusive mentally, emotionally, and verbally.
I have told this woman things about my life that I have not told anyone, but everything that I tell her she takes it and uses it as ammunition to hurt me, then she wonders why I don’t tell her anything. Ladies, this is why men don’t tell you things that you may need to know. Some of you don’t know how to take that information and use it to help you understand your man, and why he does the things he does or doesn’t do, as well as why he acts and speaks the way that he does. You have to earn his trust and you can’t do that by calling him out of his name, giving low blows, and trying to dominate him!
Back to me, our last argument was about her bumping me while I was taking care of our puppy. I have a bad knee and she bumped me and made everything shift. I was in such pain and I was glad the wall was there to catch my fall. I got back up and threw water on her. Granted it was water from the puppies bowl, but water none the less. I didn’t put my hands on her, and I never touched her. However, I felt that she bumped me on purpose and in anger because I didn’t leave a job-site to bring her cigarettes. And, when I was on my way home, two hours after I finished the job, I called her and she asked me to repair her laptop before I did my paperwork and prepare these devices to be shipped back to the company. I told her that I had business first, then, I can concentrate on her laptop. Let me take care of financial things first. When I got home we were still on the phone and I had a big box unbeknownst to her. I asked her to come and open the door for me. She asstitudidly (ßNot misspelled, it is one of my custom words) told me to open the door myself because she was busy. I told her that I didn’t tell her that when she last asked me to come open the door for her and nor have I ever said that to her.
Anyway, she feels that I am the only one that does wrong. She doesn’t apologize when I tell her that she has hurt my feelings or that I feel that she has wronged me. Yet, I have never had a problem admitting that I was wrong or apologizing when she said that I hurt her feelings. Still, now when she comes to me with this I tell her to get a job so she can afford a life, get a grip, and then get over it! Am I wrong? Married And Suffering
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/we-met-online-months-ago-got-married-and-its-not-working/
Friday, December 3, 2010
Happy Founder's Day To My Brother's of Alpha Phi Alpha, Fraternity, Inc...
Happy Founder's Day to all my brother's of Alpha Phi Alpha, Fraternity, Inc.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Today Is WORLD AIDS DAY...
Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...
Dear Gay Best Friend,
For starters, I brought your book and I haven’t been able to put it down yet honey. I find myself re-reading chapters, highlighting and taking notes. You’re definitely speaking the truth and I love that. When I visit the Hello Beautiful site and read the advice you give to women dealing with relationship issues its invigorating. I like how honest and deep you are when women are reaching out to you for help. So I decide to be a brave soul and come to you for some advice. I would like your utmost honest opinion. So here it goes…
I met a man in May 2010 at a wine tasting gathering. I’m 28 years old, he is 31 years old. I could definitely tell there was instant attraction between the both of us. He was everything I was looking for in a potential mate. He is tall, attractive, intelligent, confident the whole nine baby. I was in complete awe of him. In the beginning, he was pursuing me a lot. For example, I would receive morning text messages when I would get up for work, he would call or text me while I was at work to see how my day was going and we would even talk on the phone at night. He was being the chaser and let’s be honest, what woman doesn’t want that from a man?
A red flag did surface during one of our phone conversations. He told me he was married, but legally separated. He explained to me that he was with this woman who has a child from a previous relationship for three years and they were married for less than a year until they started to have problems. He also informed me that she was living in the house that they shared together until she found something of her own. I didn’t read too much into that because I figured, hey, he is going to divorce her anyways, so it is not so bad if I continue to talk to him, right?!?
Well, we went out on a date two weeks after we met and it was really nice. After the date, things took a different turn. The texts in the morning and calls through the day continued, but the phone conversations at night stop. Weeks went by and he would never initiate a second date. When we would talk he would always mention doing things with his friends, like traveling to Vegas for the weekend, or sometimes going to concerts or events by himself. He would never bring up a second date or even invite me to come hang with him. Then one day, I just finally asked him out on a second date. He agreed to it, but when it was time for the date he told me that he could not go out with me because he felt “overwhelmed” by all the women he was hanging out with lately and that he needed some time to clear his head. My feelings were hurt and I was crushed. I should have just left him alone…but I didn’t.
Weeks after that incident, he would call or text and I would ignore it. I finally broke down and answered his calls and texts. He gave me the whole sob story and felt bad for what he did. The weird thing is that I still wanted him. Months later we started to have sex. I asked him the first time when we slept together what happens next…he replied, “That I would never be just a hit and run to him.” Of course, the couple times after the sex, the calls and text messages became less. The night calls definitely died and still he has not initiated going out or spending anytime with me.
I asked him what was his deal and he told me that his money was very tight. Meanwhile, he is always out and about every time I ask what his plans are for the weekend, which never involves me. It’s confusing to me because he will go for weeks without calling and texting me and then out the blue he will call me to see how I am doing, inform me on his martial drama (which according to him, wife and step-son moved out this month) and tell me that he misses me. Then another week or two will go by and I won’t hear from until he calls with the same line.
It’s now November and I can honestly say that I only seen this man in person 4 times since we met. Why does he do that? If he doesn’t want to be bothered with me then what is his purpose for calling me? Is he into me? Or did I get played BIG TIME. Please help me! – Confused and Upset
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-was-everything-i-wanted-in-the-beginning-but-then-he-started-acting-differently/
For starters, I brought your book and I haven’t been able to put it down yet honey. I find myself re-reading chapters, highlighting and taking notes. You’re definitely speaking the truth and I love that. When I visit the Hello Beautiful site and read the advice you give to women dealing with relationship issues its invigorating. I like how honest and deep you are when women are reaching out to you for help. So I decide to be a brave soul and come to you for some advice. I would like your utmost honest opinion. So here it goes…
I met a man in May 2010 at a wine tasting gathering. I’m 28 years old, he is 31 years old. I could definitely tell there was instant attraction between the both of us. He was everything I was looking for in a potential mate. He is tall, attractive, intelligent, confident the whole nine baby. I was in complete awe of him. In the beginning, he was pursuing me a lot. For example, I would receive morning text messages when I would get up for work, he would call or text me while I was at work to see how my day was going and we would even talk on the phone at night. He was being the chaser and let’s be honest, what woman doesn’t want that from a man?
A red flag did surface during one of our phone conversations. He told me he was married, but legally separated. He explained to me that he was with this woman who has a child from a previous relationship for three years and they were married for less than a year until they started to have problems. He also informed me that she was living in the house that they shared together until she found something of her own. I didn’t read too much into that because I figured, hey, he is going to divorce her anyways, so it is not so bad if I continue to talk to him, right?!?
Well, we went out on a date two weeks after we met and it was really nice. After the date, things took a different turn. The texts in the morning and calls through the day continued, but the phone conversations at night stop. Weeks went by and he would never initiate a second date. When we would talk he would always mention doing things with his friends, like traveling to Vegas for the weekend, or sometimes going to concerts or events by himself. He would never bring up a second date or even invite me to come hang with him. Then one day, I just finally asked him out on a second date. He agreed to it, but when it was time for the date he told me that he could not go out with me because he felt “overwhelmed” by all the women he was hanging out with lately and that he needed some time to clear his head. My feelings were hurt and I was crushed. I should have just left him alone…but I didn’t.
Weeks after that incident, he would call or text and I would ignore it. I finally broke down and answered his calls and texts. He gave me the whole sob story and felt bad for what he did. The weird thing is that I still wanted him. Months later we started to have sex. I asked him the first time when we slept together what happens next…he replied, “That I would never be just a hit and run to him.” Of course, the couple times after the sex, the calls and text messages became less. The night calls definitely died and still he has not initiated going out or spending anytime with me.
I asked him what was his deal and he told me that his money was very tight. Meanwhile, he is always out and about every time I ask what his plans are for the weekend, which never involves me. It’s confusing to me because he will go for weeks without calling and texting me and then out the blue he will call me to see how I am doing, inform me on his martial drama (which according to him, wife and step-son moved out this month) and tell me that he misses me. Then another week or two will go by and I won’t hear from until he calls with the same line.
It’s now November and I can honestly say that I only seen this man in person 4 times since we met. Why does he do that? If he doesn’t want to be bothered with me then what is his purpose for calling me? Is he into me? Or did I get played BIG TIME. Please help me! – Confused and Upset
You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-was-everything-i-wanted-in-the-beginning-but-then-he-started-acting-differently/
Today Is, "He Can Get It" Wednesday: Lynx...
Today’s featured model is Marvin “Lynx” Cabrera. This twenty-three year old racially-mixed stud was born in Puerto Rico, but is a mix of Dominican, Puerto Rican, and Spaniard heritage. He currently resides in the Bronx.
Lynx shared with me how he got started in modeling. He said that he wasn’t discovered, but had actually always been interested in trying out for modeling. Then, one day he was browsing through Facebook and bumped into Mr. Jones’, CEO of Jones Models & Talent. Lynx hit Mr. Jones up. “I wasn’t sure how I was going to do. So, I figured I’d try it out and see how I would do in the modeling industry.” It turned out that Mr. Jones was impressed with Lynx’s photos and saw a lot of potential in him in having a modeling career. Things took off, and Lynx has been modeling now for a year.
You can read and see more of Lynx, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/he-can-get-it/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-lynx/
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