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Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...

Dear Gay Best Friend,


I am a 30-year old single woman who has been out of the dating game for a year due to a very bad break up.

I have always been the faithful type and I don’t make a habit of sleeping around. Last year around this time I found myself awaiting the return of my fiancé who was serving in Iraq. For 18-months I kept to myself and just counted the days until my man was to come back home. Well, I got a special surprise one day when I answered the door and it was my boo. He was back a whole week earlier.

To make a long story short, he took me right then and there. The sex was off the chain. About three weeks after that I started having some female issues, so I went to my Gynecologist and I found out I had herpes and gonorrhea. I know I could have only gotten it from him because for the past four years he has been the only partner I have been with. When I confronted him about it he was not angry or surprised by it until I broke up with him.

Now, a whole year later I have been flirting with a guy in my office who has asked me out so many times it’s not even funny. I finally said yes and we have been going out and having fun for about three months now. We have not had any sexual contact yet, but I want to so bad. I have all the information about protection and how not to spread herpes, but my question is how do I even bring up the subject without him automatically thinking I am a skank or something? I don’t know too many black men that are willing to date someone who they know has an STD. – Stuck With A Disease

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/my-ex-infected-me-i-want-to-date-but-im-afraid-of-rejection/

Today Is, "He Can Get It" Wednesday: Tyson...

Yes, lawd! It’s hump day, and it’s time for “He Can Get It” Wednesday. And this week’s featured model is the FINE, FINE, FINE, 25-year old, Tyson Allen Strong.


Currently residing in Las Vegas, Nevada, Tyson was born in Culver City, California. He is the baby of four kids. He has two older brothers and an older sister. He moved to Las Vegas when he was around eight years old. “We weren’t having a very good time out there in California,” Tyson said. “Drugs were everywhere in the 80’s including right in our very own house. Eventually, my uncle got tired of us being around all of that and he grabbed all of us kids. After he showed up, we were on the road to Las Vegas and never went back. He was actually my biggest influence and hero growing up, and the reason why I joined the military. He was a former Marine. Shortly after that my mother came out to Las Vegas.”

Tyson graduated high school when he was 16-years old. He always knew he was going to join the military because of his uncle, but he had to wait until he was 17-years old. He enlisted in the Navy and went into the Military Intelligence Field. He also volunteered for other special programs. He ended up stationed in Norfolk VA, and spent a lot of time out of the country. “I loved the job, but I needed a change,” Tyson said.

It wasn’t until 2007 when Tyson got out of the Navy and moved back to Las Vegas that he started modeling. “A friend of mine told me about Modelmayhem.com and once I joined the messages started rolling in,” he said. “I started doing some shoots, and club owners would contact me to come hang out at their clubs, and do other conventions.”

Tyson also said he loves photography. “I love the messages you can send, and emotions that you could evoke in a person without ever saying a word. I went out and got camera and read every book I could and spent hours upon hours working on Photoshop, watching videos, and tutorials. Some real good photographers would show me tricks of the trade and gave me advice. They would show me different techniques and let me in the studios to learn.”

You can read and see more of Tyson, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/he-can-get-it/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-tyson/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day....

Dear Gay Best Friend,


I’ve been reading your links on Hello Beautiful for a while and I have something for you to write about.

I am a 30-year old black male. I am happily and recently married, going on three weeks. Just this weekend my ex from many years ago hit me up on a text asking about the wedding, since she wasn’t invited. I told her it was good, and she goes into her (bipolar, I’m the victim, drama mode). She claims she is happy for me, but she’s hurt and that the thought of it makes her sick. I’m wondering to myself, ‘Why is she telling me this?’ I dated this girl years ago when I was young and had just finish school and was going into college. Our relationship lasted three good years after we both went to different colleges and we had almost five bad years of constant cheating, disrespecting, and nothing but problems. I will admit, it wasn’t all her fault but as I got older, I got tired of the mess and drama that came along with this girl. I cut her loose, and went about my life and two years ago I met the woman of my dreams who I have made my wife.

Now, my ex has reappeared, like a seasonal plague. She contacts me out of the blue, trying to be friendly and slither her way back into my life, just like a snake. And, with her comes drama, arguments, and she constantly brings up the past as if it will make me forget about all the drama that she brought upon me in the last three years.

This weekend was no different. After she contacted me, instead of being a rude person, I try to be nice to her just for the purpose of I don’t want to have another ex hating me. But, this girl is really pushing it. She claims now to be engaged, but you never really know with her because she will tell a lie in a heartbeat. She has told me twice already in the past that she was engaged but never married.

She then claims that until the day that she dies I will always be her first love and that she will never forget me and that is something I can’t take away. I asked her was that suppose to be special or something I hold with me? I have let everything go and I am moving on and happily married.

Everything about this girl makes me sick. We have too much of a bad past to move on as friends, and I just want her to leave me alone. I later texted her back and told her not to text or call me again, and that I am happily married. In response, she replied with her usual hood-rat manner by cursing me out and saying no one wants me. It was funny, but I know it won’t be the last time I hear from her. This has been going on for years, and I feel now that I am married it’s just going to make her continue with the drama, games and problems. I could cuss her out, but I have gotten older, and at the age of 30, I don’t want to go back to acting like a 22-year old again.

Me, and this girl had a past, one that would make good for a book or movie. She is the girl that sees everything wrong with the next person, but don’t see the problems in her own life. She is straight bi-polar and I made sure I told her to get herself checked out. I mean how can someone be happy for you, but causes hurt to the point it makes you sick? Why are black women so blind when it comes to a good man? At one point, years ago, I wanted to work it out with this girl, but after seeing she has very whorish ways, I stopped caring and moved on.

The last straw came three years ago when she called me out of the blue to give me her new phone number and start a conversation with me. At the time, I was thinking about her and wanted to see where this would go. She asked was I still in town and that she wanted to hangout sometime. I told her where I was and then asked where she was staying. I admit I know I was wrong, because I already knew where she was staying and never once went by her house or called her. She claims that she had just brought a house in the rich part of town and had just moved in. Now while she was telling me this I am at my cousin apartment sitting outside and watching her pull into her apartment. I went along with the story, but decided not to call her out and not start back messing with her. Well, she continued to call me every week, bragging about her house and everything. With every call she always has a new story to tell. Then one day, I got tired of it. She called and told me she was at home outside in her back yard talking to her next door neighbor. I just shook my head when she told me that and quickly made up an excuse to get off the phone. An hour later I called her back and asked are we friends, she responded with a yes. Then I asked, ‘Why do you feel the need to always lie to me?’ She said lie about what. I could tell from her voice she was getting mad. I told her I knew where she stayed and that I don’t know why she had to call me and tell me a lie like that. She responded with she didn’t want me to know because she didn’t want any trouble from me. So, I am like well if you feel threatened by me then why call and give me your number. Why lie to me? When I asked that, she cursed me out and hung up the phone.

I am at the point now where I am really tired of my ex and I know as long as she knows I am married, she will continue to want to be in my life.

I’ve told her that I don’t want to be friends, but she doesn’t want to have it that way. What do I need to do, curse her out, or continue playing these games with her? – Case Of The Ex

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/im-married-but-my-ex-girlfriend-wont-leave-me-alone/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...

Dear Gay Best Friend,


I don’t know where to begin, but I need your advice on where to go from here. So here’s the story.

I have been in a relationship with this man for four years. Two years into the relationship, he proposed marriage which I proudly accepted. However, throughout our relationship I NEVER met anyone face to face, nor via phone from his family — no kids, no friends, no church family. NO ONE! I constantly questioned this, but was always told that since these loved ones lived in another state it was difficult to get them all together. So, I let it go.

Anyway, the wedding planning was taking place quite smoothly, yet there were times when I constantly had to nag him for his list of guests and their addresses. Needless to say that he NEVER came through with a complete list for me. Yet, he told me that all of his guests knew all the pertinent wedding information.

Now, on to the good part. Two days before the wedding, he tells me that his mom (who lives in another state) became very ill and was hospitalized in intensive care. Therefore, he told me that some family members would not be attending the wedding. The very next day, he claimed that there was NO change in his mother’s condition and that more of his family members would not be attending and he was thinking of going to see his mom also. So, I responded with, “I understand your feelings for your mom, but how do we handle all the other guests and family that have traveled for this big day?” Well, the next day comes around, (which is the wedding day), and I get two calls that morning. First, he called and said that his mom took a turn for the worse. Then the second call, (an hour later from the first), he called and said that his mom had die. So, I immediately jumped into action by going to him to console him for his loss and to try to arrange for him to leave at some point that day to meet other family members to handle arrangements for his mom. While all of this is going on, I called around to tell all the other guests the news and that we would be delaying the ceremony for an hour so that the groom could get himself together, and he would be leaving right after the ceremony.

While guests are arriving to the church they find the church locked and no one inside. Out from nowhere the groundskeeper appears and asked why the guests are there? They responded they were there for a wedding. The groundskeeper informs them no wedding was set to take place. After many phone calls back and forth between my guests, the groundskeeper, and my potential groom it was discovered that the groom NEVER asked his pastor to officiate our wedding, nor did he book the church for the wedding. By that time it seemed to me, and others, that he simply DID NOT want to get married, aside from the grief he was suffering from losing his mother, which looked suspect after finding out the truth about the “locked” church. So, it was confirmed two days later that the groom lied about his mother’s death because he wanted to cover up the fact of NOT completing his wedding task as he should have. He claims he failed to do his part of the planning and came up with all these lies because he was scared and afraid that I would leave him for being lazy and procrastinating. I was devastated and humiliated beyond belief that I could have been left at the altar like that. To this day, this man constantly calls and asks for forgiveness and another chance at love with me. But, why would I even want to give him an ounce of my time? Am I being too harsh to someone that I undoubtedly truly did love? Or, should I just admit that I deserve better and let him and his deceitfulness go elsewhere? – The Jilted Bride

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/we-were-going-to-get-married-but-he-left-me-at-the-altar/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day....

Dear Gay Best Friend,


I need your help. I am a 40-year old woman involved with a 47-year old man for the last nine months. He says that he is legally separated, but we never discuss his wife or a divorce. He tells me that he loves me, but I’m not sure about that.

I lost my job, and my car broke down. My 15-year old daughter and I stay with my mother while I get back on my feet. I am also dealing with some health issues. I told him about my situation but he has offered no help on anything. He always asks me what my daughter’s dad is doing to help out. He travels a lot for his job, so we mostly communicate by email and IM’s, or he calls every 4-6 weeks. I can call his work voicemail and leave him a message. I really do love him, but I wonder if I am wasting my time?

I send him cards to his P.O. Box, gifts, etc., but I get little in return. He bought me a blouse, card, and nightie for my birthday, and he sent me a copy of the book he wrote for Valentine’s Day. I got him a really nice Christmas gift and he didn’t even send me a card, which really hurt my feelings. He accused me of cheating and didn’t talk to me for forty-five days. He wanted me to have him a son, but I had to have emergency surgery and can no longer bear children. He says that having a son is his dream. I really don’t know what to do right now. Is he really planning on being with me? He tells me that I need to find a man here whenever I say that I need help on something. – Do I Wait On Him?

You can read my response, HERE!
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/weve-been-together-for-nine-months-but-hes-hardly-around/

Today Is, "He Can Get It" Wednesday: Anthony....

This week’s featured “He Can Get It” model is sexy twenty-one year old, Anthony Taylor.


Anthony was born in Berkley, California, but raised in Alameda, which is not too far from Oakland. He got into modeling because his ex-girlfriend, Ashleigh, said he should model because he has a nice look. Then, one of his good friend’s, Mark Gatewood, introduced him to a lot of people. The introductions helped Anthony’s career and he’s been modeling ever since. He’s been featured in magazines, fashion shows, and ad campaigns. “It’s been a true blessing,” Anthony said.

I asked Anthony what he looks for in a woman and he said, “Man, that’s a hard one since I’m single! But, I’m looking for a woman who’s a sweet person. She has to have goals, and be smart, passionate, and willing to try new things. She has to have a good sense of humor. She has to be there for me, and those important in her life. I also love a woman who loves to eat, can make me laugh, and she’s got to be faithful to me, and will never give up on me. She’s also my best-friend while we’re dating, and can hold me in all the right places. I want her to be there for me mentally, physically, and emotionally.” Whew! That is a mouthful.

You can read and see more of Anthony, HERE!
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/he-can-get-it/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-anthony/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...

Dear Gay Best Friend,


I absolutely loved the responses I read today that you gave to a couple of women! I decided to write you myself to get a straight up response.

I was seeing this man for about a year. He defined the relationship as “lovers”. Sometimes, we talked about his feelings for me, and him being afraid of what he felt for me. I was not afraid that I liked him. Well, two months after that year of seeing each other and about nine months of us being intimate, he told me his feelings for me were too intense and he had to stop seeing me. A couple of weeks after that, he told me he made a mistake and wanted to “patch” things up with me.

We started talking again for about three weeks and he stopped talking to me again without explanation. Eventually he gave me another reason after I repeatedly asked him what happened. Since then, he has sent me a couple of messages saying that he still has feelings for me. Now he has started contacting me again with the main conversation being about sex. We have discussed still liking each other, how we wished things had turned out differently, and missing each other. We haven’t actually seen each other.

Today I really want to see him, I am sure you “catch” this. It’s been about six months. I contacted him today and he said he would help me out and contact me later today. I am sitting here thinking this is a major mistake and I should not see him. Do I love him, no. I like him, had a good time with him, and miss him. Still, I am thinking it is probably a mistake to see him. Tell me what you think – Where Is This Going?

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/he-said-were-lovers-but-i-want-to-know-if-there-is-more/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day....

Dear Gay Best Friend,


I have a question for you, so please do not judge me Terrance. I need your help. I am twenty years old and I have been in a relationship for almost a year and a half! You know how some women have been in previous relationships and they don’t know when the next guy is genuine or not? That was me. On top of that I was insecure. Well, around the seventh month or eighth month of our relationship, I cheated on him with another guy. Like, we had sex. I told my boyfriend what happened. But, then I didn’t know how to take responsibility for it and I lied to my boyfriend and told him I was drunk and the guy took advantage of me.

Terrance, God knows my heart and I was never like that before. Even in my past relationships I never cheated. My insecurity hit an all time low when I did cheat. Terrance, it happened seven months ago and my mind is going crazy. I don’t want to tell him because it will just be getting the guilt from my mind, and not helping the relationship. And, he is going through a lot in his life. What should I do? I think I should get over it, but I just need a second opinion. I never cheated afterwards. As a matter of fact, while I was cheating I stopped in the middle of it and began to cry. I still cheated, but I just bust out crying about how I am messing up my relationship. What should I do? – My Heart Is Heavy

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-cheated-on-my-man-but-i-lied-about-what-happened/

Today Is, "Read A Book" Thursday: One Flight Up by Susan Fales-Hill...

Today’s “Read A Book” review is of author, Susan Fales-Hill, and her debut novel, One Flight Up (Atria – July 2010; $25). The novel introduces readers to four long-time girlfriends whose history together goes back to their days in grade school at the prestigious Sibley School for Girls on Manhattan’s Upper East Side.


India Chumley, Esq., Esme Sarmiento-Talbot, Abby Rosenfeld Adams, and Dr. Monique Dawkins-Dubois have grown up to be successful women who, on the outside, seem to lead the charmed lives about which many can only dream. Yet, lurking behind their thriving and lucrative careers, multi-level brownstones and dazzling wardrobes is a sea of discontent with their love lives. It is the four women’s quest for the ultimate satisfaction in love and sex that leads them each to go where good girls “fear to tread.”

Despite the fact that India, Esme, Abby and Monica live a lifestyle that seems worlds apart from most, readers will easily identify with each woman as she struggles to come to terms with love, life and the price of passion. Fales-Hill puts infidelity front and center in the story with the women as perpetrators rather than just victims. In so doing, she challenges readers, along with her characters, to ask important questions about their own feelings and desires. Against the backdrop of New York City at its more glamorous, One Flight Up is poised to be the must-have summer read that will have women buzzing everywhere, from the Hamptons to Martha’s Vineyard to South Beach to West Hollywood.

You can read the rest of my interview with Susan, as well as win copies of her book, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/special-features/read-a-book/terrancedean/former-cosby-writer-pens-new-novel-one-flight-up/

Today Is, "He Can Get It" Wednesday: Jarryd...

What a wonderful Wednesday it is! Happy “He Can Get It” Day. I just made that official for Hello Beautiful.


Today’s featured model is twenty year old, Jarryd Wade Gordon. He hails from across the pond. That is England for those of you who don’t know. Jarryd was born in Paddington, West London, and he was raised in the Hammersmith/Shepherds Bush area of West London where he currently resides. Jarryd is of White British and Black Caribbean descent. What a beautiful combination!

Jarryd started his modeling career in the spring of 2009. He has been modeling for a year and a half. Many people suggested he should get into modeling and acting. “I was actually discovered online,” Jarryd said. “I then started to network within the industry making small steps of progression.” And it has paid off for him.

Beyond modeling, Jarryd is currently a student studying for his B.S. honors degree in Sport Science, of which he has been studying for two years. “I have one more year left until I graduate. I am also a qualified personal trainer. I work part-time in a private school doing maintenance. I’ve obtained a sports coaching qualification in which I plan to build upon in the near future.”

You can read and see more of Jarryd, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/he-can-get-it/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-jarryd/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day....

Dear Gay Best Friend,


I just read an article and you answered a question if you wanted to know if your male mate was gay. I liked how you answered the lady with the famous athlete question. I would like to know if you can answer mines.

Ok, my son’s father makes me think he has some tendencies of being gay or bi- curious. I was wondering if he is just lost in his sexuality of knowing what he wants. He has dated many women in his life and always maintains or keeps one. But, he cheats with many women and that’s why I’m not with him now.

But, the reason for me thinking of him being gay is because he likes looking at naked men private parts, but tries to be funny about it. He loves for a woman to play around his anal area during sexual intercourse. He wanted to take my dildo toy home after we had sex. He also makes funny statements sometimes as in, “I love Jay-Z and I will give him oral sex.”

I was just wondering if his dating so many women and always cheating on them is a cover-up to him hiding his homosexuality? I am wondering and wanted to know so I can help him so he won’t keep hurting women, especially if that’s not where his heart truly is. Thank you for your time, but I truly do need your help. – I Think My Son’s Father Is Gay

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/i-think-my-sons-father-is-gay/

Today Is, "Straight From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day...

Dear Gay Best Friend,


My ex-boyfriend became gay on me. We were together for four years and last year he broke up with me to be with a man. He told me that he fell out of love with me, but the truth behind it all is that he is gay.

He cheated on me and you know what, he ended up getting HIV. I’ve been tested many times and they said that I don’t have HIV. Thank God. I feel like, ‘That’s what he gets for cheating on me and lying about everything.”

It was his roommate who turned him out. And now he wants me to forgive him and I want to do it, but, SORRY FOR YA!!!!!! But, now he’s telling me that he is scared to get into a relationship with me because he doesn’t know if he can fall in love with me or have sex, either. But, you know what, I still love him and I want to be with him now. And I hate that, too. I just don’t know what to do. – My Gay Ex Wants Me Back

You can read my response, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/terrancedean/help-my-gay-ex-wants-me-back/

Today Is, "He Can Get It" Wednesday: Brian...

Yes, yes, and yes! It’s Wednesday and time for this week’s “He Can Get It” eye candy featured model. Ladies, meet sexy and seductive thirty-one year old Brian Tillman. Born and raised in Queens, New York, Brian was discovered and started modeling in 2007.


Modeling hasn’t taken over Brian’s life. He’s grounded and stable with a full-time day job. He is a sanitation worker and has been for the past eleven years.

I asked Brian what he looks for in a woman and he said, “I love brown and dark-skinned women who are thick in all the right places. I really love thick Caribbean women. And, there is nothing better than a woman that is smart, beautiful, and can cook.”

You can see and read more about Brian, HERE:
http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/he-can-get-it/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-brian/