Friday, April 30, 2010
But, before I get out of here you know I have to do my gay friendly duty. It’s, “Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend” Advice Day.
This week’s letter is from a young married woman who feels as if she can’t handle her husband’s infidelity, or his lies, and she is considering a divorce. Hmmm, how many of you have dealt with that in your relationships?
Check out this week’s letter:
Hi, how you doing, Gay Best Friend?
I’m just going to get straight to the point. I’m 23-years old, and married with two kids, and I’m not happy with my husband, “Steve.”
I’m trying my best to be but ever since he got caught in so many lies and cheating I can’t pretend anymore. I want to work it out for the kids (my oldest is not his but Steve has been around her since she was 3 months old and she’s going on 2 yrs old), but I’m just not happy with Steve. I can’t trust him. I love him but not the same way I used to. I feel like he has broken me. Steve hurt me so bad and I trusted him not to. I feel so stupid. So, basically what I am asking is should I continue to try or just go file for a divorce? I’m so Lost and Confused.
You can read my response, here:
Check back next week for "He Can Get It" Wednesday.
I have another sexy good-looking man you will enjoy!!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
For those of you who have not read my book, Hiding In Hip Hop, in it I share my experience of working on The Keenan Ivory Wayans Show early in my career. During my time at the show I was able to meet and work with the entire Wayans family. They are the most loving, tight-knit, and hillarious group of people to work with. I had an amazing time.
When I heard Damon Wayans had penned his first novel I immediately reached out to do an interview with him to discuss his new book, Red Hats, and to also get copies for some of the loyals readers of my column.
Damon is renowned for his Hollywood films, and his run on the ground-breaking sketch comedy show, In Living Color, and later on as the executive producer and star of ABCs hit My Wife and Kids. Damon is a world-class comedian, actor, and storyteller with a powerful voice.
Check out my interview here, along with a chance to win copies of his book:
You know you have to be quick in sending in your chances to win. I get lots of emails about books, but I run out.
Also, make sure to tune in tomorrow for "Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day.
Enjoy your day!!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
“Ain’t he fine!” Oh, yes, he’s fine!
That’s the call and response for today’s “He Can Get It” Model – Valdee.
This is pure visual stimulation, and any other impure thoughts you may be having, to help you get through the week.
Valdee Duran is a 28-year old marketing promoter and actor currently residing in Miami, Florida. He was born in the sexy and alluring Caribbean island of the Dominican Republic. Where are all my Dominicanos and Dominicanas?
Valdee’s unique and sexy good looks attracted the attention of top modeling agency, Legacy Model Management. The agency has been toted as the new “it” agency for people of color. Legacy Model Management immediately snatched him up and Valdee has been working as a model for the past two years in print campaigns and music videos. Most recently Valdee was tapped to play the love interest for rap superstar and queen of the South, Trina, for her music video, Million Dollar Girl.
You can see more of Valdee, here:
Also, make sure to check in tomorrow for, "Read A Book" Thursday.
I have an exciting book by an A-list celebrity!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Yes, yes, yes! It’s the weekend and time for some fun! I hope you all have some wonderful plans and exciting events planned. Whatever you do be safe and have lots of fun.
But, you also know what today is. It’s, “Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend” Advice Day!
I have another two-for. Yes, I received two different letters from women about the same subject, “How can I tell if he is really into me after we’ve had sex?” Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, so check out the letters and my response below.
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I meet a lot of guys but can’t ever keep them. I am very sexual and I feel like I may put out too fast. Most guys want that, but then that’s all they want. Can u sleep with a guy too quick and still squeeze a relationship out of it?
Well, I met this guy, “Derek,” and we went out and had a great time. I mean, he painted my toes, we sat by the fire and watched a movie, and had a drink. You know, just chilling. That night I went home with a kiss and that’s it. I can tell he wanted more, but we left it at that and I felt good. Over the next couple of days I didn’t hear from him, so I called Derek and he invited me over and I went. We laid in the bed and, you know, he tried touching me, but I stopped him. He got mad and I told him that I liked him and I didn’t want to move too fast. Derek made it seem like I was making it worse by not sleeping with him, so I did. Silly me, I know. And you know what, he still doesn’t call.
I finally talked to Derek and he says that he hopes I’m not the type of sensitive chick who wants to hear from the person she’s dating every day. Derek also said that he doesn’t hope I think he’s cheating because he doesn’t answer the phone. He said he can go days without hearing from me and be cool with that. However, that bothers me.
When I first met Derek he told me when he takes a girl out he likes for them to dress a certain way because he likes to dress himself. So, I dressed my ass off for our date and we go to Steak and Shake. I’m like, ‘What the hell!’
I try to play it off and not call him because Derek says he doesn’t have to talk to me every day, but why won’t he call me? Should I move on? I just want a cool dude to kick it with but he is complicated. I feel like I mess up every relationship. When we do get together we have fun. Should I just close my mouth and not be too emotional? – Where To Go From Here
Here's the second letter:
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I met a guy, “Craig,” and we have dated for two months now. Craig is the most romantic man I’ve ever dated. We waited a whole month before we kissed and after the second month we decided to introduce sex. Now, Craig seems so stand-offish. He doesn’t take me out any more. We used to go on dates three or four times a week, and now we barely go out. What can I do to get the romance back? – Lost In Translation
You can read my response here: http://hellobeautiful.com/hellobeautiful-original/terrancedean/i-slept-with-him-now-he-is-ignoring-me/
Enjoy your weekend beautiful people! I will see you next week...
Thursday, April 22, 2010
It’s almost the weekend, and it’s “Read A Book” Thursday.
If you don’t have any plans I have the perfect book for you to curl up with and get lost in another world.
This week’s featured author is Indu Sundaresan with the final book of her trilogy, Shadow Princess.
Shadow Princess (Atria Books; $25.99) is the story of Emperor Shah Jahan who took the lives of his own blood brothers in order to gain control over the Mughal Empire. Although he has multiple wives, he loves Mumtaz Mahal more than life itself. At a time when he and Mumtaz were to enjoy the fruits of the empire he fought and killed for, she dies after giving birth to their fourteenth child, a daughter. Her husband, the Emperor, is so grief stricken that he considers giving up the crown. Just the possibility of this decision sets in motion the dangerous alliances amongst his own children, each of whom has his or her own ideas about who would be most qualified to take the crown. In a break from tradition, the eldest daughter Princess Jahanara, at the center of the story, becomes her father’s treasured confidante.
Jahanara amasses more power and wealth than any of her other siblings or her father’s remaining wives, as the person upon whom Emperor Shah Jahan most depends. As a woman, she will never wear the crown, but her influence over the Emperor deems her a threat to the less favored siblings. Jahanara’s decision is to support Dara, the eldest son and the presumed heir to the throne. However, a younger son, Aurangzeb, although not as liked within the family and supported by sister Jahanara’s younger sister, Roshanara, also had his sights set on the throne. He feels strongly that his brothers, including Dara, do not exhibit or possess the courage, capability, skills, and commitment necessary to have the honor of wearing the crown and leading the empire’s people. The battle for the crown becomes an intriguing, suspense-filled decades-long struggle for the family, particularly as the Emperor emerges from the mourning of his wife, at the behest of daughter Jahanara, to regain the confidence of his people.
Check out my interview with Indu, here: http://hellobeautiful.com/hellobeautiful-original/terrancedean/new-book-shadow-princess-explores-the-taj-mahals-royal-family/
Indu Sundaresan was born in India and grew up on Air Force bases all over the country. Her father, a fighter pilot, was also a storyteller—managing to keep his audiences captive and rapt with his flair for drama and timing. He got this from his father, Indu’s grandfather, whose visits were always eagerly awaited. Sundaresan’s love of stories comes from both of them, from hearing their stories based on imagination and rich Hindu mythology, and from her father’s writings.
After an undergraduate degree in economics from India, Sundaresan came to the U.S. for graduate school at the University of Delaware and has an MS in operations research and an MA in economics. But all too soon, the storytelling gene beckoned.
Tune in tomorrow for, "Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day!!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Are you ready for the weekend? I know I am. Especially after this week’s, “Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend” Advice I’ve had to dish.
Check out this week’s letter below.
Dear Gay Best Friend, and How You Doing!!!!
I have been seeing a man, “Calvin,” for about three months. He is separated and going through a divorce. He and his wife had been separated for a year and a half before we met, so I am not the reason for the separation. We started off as friends. We had a spiritual connection, but in a few weeks it moved it to a romantic relationship.
As the months have passed there are several things that bother me about Calvin. 1.) There is a lot of interference from his family that is a major turn-off. 2.) He doesn’t have a permanent job and works temporary as of now. 3.) He is always ready to eat but he has never bought groceries into my home. 4.) Then to top it off his wife has threatened to hurt me if he has his child around me. She has even said she was afraid I may molest their child. WTF!!!!
Don’t get me wrong, Calvin does not possess all bad qualities. He does have great manners and treats me well. We are together all the time. The problem is I do not see Calvin as being a provider financially or mentally to me in the future. He tells my family that he loves me and wants to be with me after the divorce is final. But, on the same note when Calvin goes around certain family members of his I can’t go because they do not accept me, and they do not want to meet me until after the divorce. Ironically, they still accept his wife who is currently pregnant. She has told them that there is only a 12% chance that the unborn child may have been fathered by Calvin.
Gay Best Friend, I may already know the answer to the question in my mind, but what should I do? I know inside that God would not bless me with a married man! LOL
Thanks in advance – Speak To Me
Check out my response here:
Tune in next week for a very hot and sexy "He Can Get It" Wednesday!!!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Oh, yeah, I got a flood of emails trying to get their hands on last week’s post for E. Lynn’s latest release, “In My Father’s House.” Thank you and I know E. Lynn is smiling down on us all.
I am proud to introduce this week’s “Read A Book” break-thru new fiction author, Nana Ekua Brew-Hammond, and her new novel, “Powder Necklace” (Washington Square Press, April 2010).
You can find out more about Nana and the "Powder Necklace," here: http://hellobeautiful.com/hellobeautiful-original/terrancedean/new-book-explores-a-ghanaian-girls-journey-across-cultures/
The “Powder Necklace” is a story about a sexually curious and petulant Lila Adjei who makes the fatal error of inviting a male schoolmate to her London home to play video games—without adult supervision—her mother flies into a rage and decides to send Lila packing “for her own good” on an indefinite sojourn to rural Ghana, her homeland. Lila is furious at her mother for her seemingly rash decision and terrified at the thought of being so far away from home in an unfamiliar place. Although her mother’s explanation for the move is that she is attempting to protect her daughter from the bad influences of London, Lila is convinced that the uncongenial relationship between her mother and her estranged father, who lives in America, is at the core of the decision.
Tune in tomorrow for, "Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend" Advice Day!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Hola, Beautiful People!
Como tu ta?
It’s Hump Day and I have the perfect mid-week visual for this week’s “He Can Get It” Wednesday.
Introducing 27-year old Gabriel Veras. He was born in Lawrence, Massachusetts, but was raised in Philadelphia. He is Dominican & Puerto Rican. What a lovely combination. Papi, Papi, Papi, Papi!!!
Check him out here: http://hellobeautiful.com/your-man/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-gabriel-veras/
Gabriel is a full-time barber, and works part-time as a physical trainer. He is also a model and actor.
Gabriel considers himself an old soul. “I love music from the 70s, 80s, and 90s. I love smooth jazz as well.”
Make sure to check in tomorrow for, "Read A Book" Thursday...
Have a great day!!
Friday, April 9, 2010
Happy Friday wonderful people!
Are you ready for the weekend? And, are you ready for your weekend romp with your boo? Well, some of you may be ready for something new and different. And, you know today is, “Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend” Advice Day. This week’s letter is from a woman who is ready to explore her sexual inhibitions, but wants to know how to prepare herself for something different.
Check it out!
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I am a 36-year old divorced female, who enjoys sex very, very much. But, I haven’t been active for a year and a half. I am at the point where I want my inner freak to come out! I enjoy sexual pain. It’s a turn on!!!!
My question is about anal sex. I tried it with a vibrator and I was petrified at what was on the other end when I pulled it out. Now I’m scared that once insertion with a penis takes place, with whomever I decide to get my freak on with, will this happen again? Would I need to do a cleaning, laxative, colon cleanse, or what?
How do you get around a boo-boo mess and is there a clean way for a freaky night? – Mizz Ready To Get My Freak On
Check out my response here: http://hellobeautiful.com/your-man/terrancedean/im-ready-to-explore-my-sexual-inhibitions/
Enjoy your weekend and have lots of fun.
Check in next week for another great piece of advice!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Today is, “Read A Book” Thursday and I’ve been fortunate to get advanced copies of the late E. Lynn Harris' book, “In My Father’s House,” which doesn’t come out until July!
For those of you who may know, or may not know, E. Lynn Harris passed last year, July 23rd, at the age of 54. He was in Los Angeles, Calif., working on film/television deals for his books.
He was a mentor and very good friend of mines. I truly miss him dearly. I still think of him, his laugh, and kind words he often shared with me.
Find out how to be one of the first three personsn to win copies of E. Lynn's book here: http://hellobeautiful.com/hellobeautiful-original/terrancedean/the-late-e-lynn-harris-sizzling-in-my-fathers-house/
Before he died last year, E. Lynn wrote, "In My Father's House." This bangup first installment to a projected series about a bisexual owner of a Miami modeling agency. Bentley L. Dean III, runs the Picture Perfect modeling agency in South Beach. His father, a homophobic Detroit millionaire, disowned him after he broke off an engagement and had an affair with a male TV sports reporter, and though the agency’s been a success, the recession has taken a big bite out of Bentley’s business. Strapped for cash, he reluctantly agrees to supply gay, bi or very open-minded eye candy for a VIP party hosted by Prosperity Gentleman’s Club, which is run by Emperor Seth Sinclair, a closeted gay celebrity. When Jah, an 18-year-old student Bentley’s been mentoring, covers for a no-show model and begins an affair with Seth, big trouble looms. Harris’s wry tale about second chances highlights what readers have long loved about his work: his ability to depict the pursuit of love and self-respect, regardless of societal and family pressures.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
It’s Hump Day and here’s a little pick-me-up to get you through the work week. It’s “He Can Get It” Wednesday.
Today’s model is 29-year old Cory Lamar. Born in Louisville, Kentucky and raised in Charlotte, North Carolina, Cory currently resides in Los Angeles, California where he has been for only eight months. So, all you ladies on the west coast you can help Cory get acclimated to the area.
You can see more photos of Cory here: http://hellobeautiful.com/your-man/terrancedean/he-can-get-it-wednesday-cory/
Cory is one of the proud servicemen who has served our country in the United States Air Force. He traveled all around the world and did three tours in the Middle East in Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi freedom. He was honorably discharged after six and half years of committed service. “While in the military I sought out ways to fight hard for my country, and to uphold the values of freedom and culture of the United States.” Let’s hear it for this man!
Enjoy the mid-work week pick me up!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Happy Friday beautiful people!
Today is, “Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend” Advice Day. This letter is from a young man looking to forgive, and rediscover love after learning his girlfriend of five years was a “closeted” lesbian.
Check out the letter below, and catch you all next week!
To My Gay Best Friend,
I saw your posts and I don’t know how many men have e-mailed you about this issue but I thought I could pour out my soul to you.
I am a 25 year-old male who was in a deeply committed relationship with this woman named, “Samantha,” whom I loved for 5 years. After 3 years, during the course of our 5 year relationship, I found out she was secretly bi-sexual. It was a shocker to me! I thought we had no secrets. It felt like a piece was ripped from my heart.
Samantha has a lesbian best friend named “Erika,” and they had been kissing. I knew from the start Erika was uncomfortable with our relationship, but I felt that my bond with Samantha it would try help us to get along and be civilized adults. Me and Samantha finally talked and tried to get some counseling to work through this, as a supporting man would. After a month of counseling, Samantha started to show up less and less. She eventually stopped coming. Then it led to no return phone calls, no e-mails, no shows for dates, and missed anniversaries. It was becoming frustrating.
One night I went to Samantha’s house because I was about to propose to her. I got the shock of my life. When I got there I looked through the window and saw Samantha and Erika having sex! I knocked on the door and asked her to open up. They rushed to the bedroom so fast! So, Samantha comes rushing to the front door as if everything was OK, and I knew it wasn’t, so I dropped the ring on the floor and in tears said, “Why me?” Her friend, Erika, came out of the room and started pushing me around and telling me to get out. Erika screamed, “She doesn’t want a man. That’s why she’s here with me.”
Well, a year after that incident Samantha met with me for lunch. She went through this explanation of what happened and all this stuff. She told me she was a lesbian the entire time we were together, and that she was just using me because she was keeping a front for her parents. They thought we would end up getting married and having kids. Samantha claims that she still loves me, but I don’t understand how she could claim to love me. I feel so hurt about this.
I fear that if I try to date again they may end up being a lesbian or bi-sexual. I don’t want to be traumatized by this experience again. The most painful part of it all is that we had sex throughout our relationship so it began to sink deep for me!
I feel my existence as a man has become weakened. I would have understood if she told me during the course of our first year of dating, then I would have taken things slower, but I grew so in love with her from the first moment I saw her. I want to forgive her, but I don’t have it in me. I still am broken-hearted and unable to tell her how I feel about it all. It brings me to tears every time I think about it and I really need to find out if this chapter in my life can be closed or will time heal all wounds.
I have not been able to confide in anyone about this but I am sure you may have some solutions.
I am still in love with her….What do I do? – Broken Hearted & Hard to Forgive Her
You can read my response, here: http://hellobeautiful.com/your-man/terrancedean/i-loved-my-girl-but-my-girl-had-a-girl/
I hope you all have a wonderful three-day weekend and blessed Easter Sunday.
You are invited to join The Brothers' Network their monthly book discussion on Saturday, April 3. They will discuss Dr. Keith Clark's scholarly study "Black Manhood in James Baldwin, Ernest J. Gaines and August Wilson."
From Frederick Douglass to the present, the preoccupation of black writers with manhood and masculinity is a constant. "Black Manhood in James Baldwin, Ernest J. Gaines, and August Wilson" explores how in their own work three major African American writers contest classic portrayals of black men in earlier literature, from slave narratives through the great novels of Richard Wright and Ralph Ellison.
Dr.Keith Clark examines short stories, novels, and plays by Baldwin, Gaines, and Wilson, arguing that since the 1950s the three have interrupted and radically dismantled the constricting literary depictions of black men who equate selfhood with victimization, isolation, and patriarchy. Instead, they have reimagined black men whose identity is grounded in community, camaraderie, and intimacy.
Delivering original and startling insights, this book appeals to our members with an interest in African American literature and identity politics.
The discussion will take place at 2 p.m. on Saturday April 3, at Moonstone Art Center, 110a South 13th Street, Philadelphia. Our discussions are lively and thought-provoking -- and even those who aren't able to read the book, are welcome to participate in the conversation.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Today is, “Read A Book,” Thursday, and as I stated before, the response has been overwhelming. You’ve made this new venture on Hello Beautiful such a worthwhile experience. I cannot thank you all enough. Keep the letters, and emails coming in!
This week’s featured author is no stranger to controversy. Several years ago, Bishop Carlton Pearson, did and said things that sent shockwaves throughout the black church. He shocked the members of his Pentecostal mega-church, along with other prominent church leaders when he publicly stated there is no such thing as hell, and he embraced homosexual men and women.
Now, the former mega-church bishop, televangelist, and award-winning gospel recording artist picks up where his previous book ends and continues to raise provocative and controversial questions about God, religion, dogma, doctrine, and faith in his second book, GOD IS NOT A CHRISTIAN, NOR A JEW, MUSLIM, HINDU…: God Dwells with Us, in Us, Around Us, as Us (Atria Books).
Check out my Q&A with Bishop Pearson here: http://hellobeautiful.com/your-world/read-a-book-thursdays/terrancedean/bishop-carlton-pearson-says-god-is-not-a-christian/
I hope you enjoy the interview, and there is a chance to win signed copies of Bishop Pearson's book.