My First Experience In Hip Hop....

Story from "The Advocate" Magazine by Terrance Dean....

Growing up in Detroit, I was raped by an adult male next-door neighbor. The incident left me emotionally and mentally paralyzed. But it started a craving and yearning for other teenage boys. I figured it was a phase. Something I would grow out of. I felt lost.

Then something happened out of the depths of New York City in 1979. A movement was being born, and it helped me discover a voice I felt had left me. I came across a song called “Rapper’s Delight” by the Sugarhill Gang in my aunt’s living room, and it sparked something in me. The voice was relatable and the message was timely. I fell in love with this new movement and its creators: Run-DMC, Big Daddy Kane, Eric B. and Rakim, Afrika Bambaataa, MC Lyte, and Whodini.

In 1985 a young teenage rapper from the Hollis neighborhood of Queens had everyone listening to his Radio. His name was LL Cool J—short for “Ladies Love Cool James.” This breakout sensation was energetic, masculine, and sexy. When I saw his sweaty, muscular body gyrating in his video “Rock the Bells,” I fell in love with the genre all over again—and he was the reason. LL became my new fascination. This new sound not only spoke to a generation of young people across the country but also had young girls and boys lusting after its stars.

Finish reading the rest of the story here from "The Advocate"....

http://www.advocate.com/issue_story.asp?id=53590&page=1

How To Break In...

So, I get many questions from young people about how to break into the entertainment industry. Every time I am speaking at a college or university, the first question is generally what is it like to work in the entertainment industry? What advice would you give to someone who does not live in New York or L.A. who wants to be in the entertainment industry?

To help answer many of your questions, on a weekly basis I will provide insights and my thoughts on what you should do to break into this everchanging, and difficult industry called "The Entertainment Business."

If you are a college student living outside of New York or L.A. it is important that you do an internship at one of the entertainment companies. Contact the human resources departments at the record labels and the television/film production companies and inquire about their summer, fall, winter, and spring internships. Each company has one and many departments are always looking for interns. Trust me, no one is going to pass up free labor.

Make sure you have a clear and concise resume which demonstrates your skill sets and anything that helps you stand out from other candidates. Everyone and their momma is trying to break into this business, so if your resume sounds and looks like everyone elses, you will get looked over. Just like Simon Cowell says on American Idol, "You are boring. I am sure no one will remember you after this performance."

Once you've been hired as an intern, first things first. This is a business. It is entertainment, but at the end of the day it is a business. Treat it and yourself as such. Be professional. Be on time for work. Dress appropriately. Don't sit and talk on the company's phone calling all your friends bragging about where you are working for the summer.

And, most importantly, young ladies it will be tempting to sleep with your sexy, good-looking, powerful boss. DON'T!!! I know of many young women, and men, who get caught up in the trap of, "Well, no one will find out. This could help me eventually get hired into the company, and then I will become V.P., and then President." It won't. It will get you a reputation. You will be known in this business and it won't be for your work ethic.

Young men, flirting with your older sexless unhappily married boss (man or woman) will not get you into the boardroom any quicker. You may get some concert tickets, CD's, t-shirts, and industry party invitations, but most executives get those things for free anyway and pass them along as perks to their employees. You getting them is not because they "really, really like you."

Overall, have fun. Be creative. Be assertive. Make yourself invaluable. Better yet indispensible. If you stand out amongst the crowd for your great working attitude and ethic, you will be asked to come back. They will remember you and who knows, you may become the next Russell Simmons, Sean P. Diddy Combs, Steve Stoute, Sylvia Rhone, or Christina Norman.

You can find out more in my upcoming book, "Hiding In Hip Hop."

Peace and blessings,

Terrance Dean

Yep I am Hip Hop...

I've been in love with Hip Hop ever since I was a teenager. I've memorized the lines, studied the lyrics, immulated the style, dress, and stance. I've had my heroes, sheroes, and role models in Hip Hop. It's a long list of rappers, emcees, and moguls. They've all helped me in some way, shape, or form.

Hip Hop has been a mainstay in black, white, Latin, and every other cultural lifestyle. It grew in the ghettos and surpassed the surburbs of America, and reached other countries where kids do not speak English, but can recite the words to every rap artist in America. It is HIP HOP. It is a MOVEMENT. Yet, it has been oppressive to some of its biggest and most advent supporters - women and gay men. Women have been called "Bitches," and "Ho's." Gay men are referred to as "Batty boys," "Faggots," and "Homos."

I've worked in the entertainment industry, and in paticular with Hip Hop for over 10 years. I've been in the room with rappers and celebrities when they've used deragatory words such as Fags, and Homos. I've wanted so many times to step up and say something, but I didn't want to out myself. I didn't want to be put on blast. I didn't want to lose my so-called friendships. But, what bothered me most was when I heard many rappers and celebrities use those words and they themselves were hiding their sexuality just as I was.

It is ironic that the most homophobic male happens to be the one who is trying desperately to deflect from his own sexual identity crisis, and distract attention away from himself. It's so easy to call someone out of their name, especially calling another man a faggot, or punk, or homo.

But, I learned somewhere that when a person has little or nothing to say and resort to name-calling it's because their mind is frustrated and they do not nor have they learned how to properly express themselves.

So, here I stand with many men in Hip Hop who refuse to hide. We have helped shape, build, and create Hip Hop and have just as much say as those who feel the need to degrade, and denegrate our contributions. Yes, we are here. We are all up in Hip Hop - your stylists, publicists, managers, producers, songwriters, ghostwriters, video directors, journalists, product managers, tour managers, lawyers, accountants, and your friends.

And, no matter what you may think, if you decide to come out and be open and truthful about your own sexuality, your fans will still love you, support you, and buy your music. We are all ONE! We are a Hip Hop Planet!

Peace and blessings,

Terrance Dean

I Wrote This Because...

It's been a long time coming and now Hiding In Hip Hop is dropping in a few weeks. Many people have speculated, discussed, and drew their own conclusions of why and when I wrote this book. Well, here is the truth.

I wrote this book many years ago. Long before there was a mention of Karrine Steffans and her infamous tell-all book, Confessions of a Video Vixen. I loved her book and her truth. It took courage for her to tell her story.

A good friend, who is an accomplished R&B singer/songwriter, had been after me to tell my story for a while. We have been friends for many years and I never told him about my life. I mean my entire background of growing up in Detroit, the many trials and tribulations, and obstacles I faced. He assumed my life was easy because I was successful in my career, but not until he read my first book, Reclaim Your Power! He called me in tears and told me he had no clue. He then encouraged me to write my memoir. "You have to write your story," he told me. "Your story will empower and change so many others lives."

But, in order for me to tell my story I knew I had to tell all of my story. That was something I was not sure I was ready to do, yet. I was still uncomfortable with my sexuality. Although I was living my life, as I thought, as an openly gay man, I still had problems with many people knowing. I still was unable to say the word "gay," as it related to myself.

I then went into prayer. I know and have a personal relationship with God. He is a constant in my life. I always go to prayer for everything. I wanted to know what I was doing was not only a part of "my" plan, but the plan God had in store for me. When I didn't hear anything. I just waited. I waited for His direction, and I also waited for the words to come.

So, after many years of prodding and pushing from my good friend, and then the direction from God, I finally started writing. I wrote and wrote and wrote until I had completed several chapters. I was scared, not scared about my down low encounters with men I had met in the entertainment industry, but scared because it was the first time I actually looked over my life and saw what I had been through. I broke down in tears many times. I had gained so much, but also lost a hell of a lot.

As I re-read those first initial chapters I knew this book would impact the lives of so many people. This book would speak to the many young, old, black, white, Hispanic, and everyone in between, who have loved, lost, and overcame to be somebody in this world.

This book is also for Hip Hop. It's time we teach, educate, and empower ourselves and community with tolerance. Enough of the name-calling - Bitches, Hoes, Niggas, and Faggots. Is it not impossible to express yourself without degrading your own people? Can you increase your vocabulary to something more than the few words that express and teach hate?

With that, my book is a riveting memoir, Hiding In Hip Hop, uncovers a hidden and well-known unspoken secret. Deep within the confines of Hip-Hop is a prominent gay sub-culture. A world that industry insiders are keenly aware of, but choose to ignore. From the testosterone of men striving to be on top and in control, to the “by any means necessary” bravado in an industry that thrives on power, homosexuality is a reality at nearly every level of Hip-Hop. Hiding In Hip Hop is a heartfelt sojourn of a young man searching for self, love, and sexual identity in the most homophobic places – the black family, community, church, and Hip Hop. Dean takes readers on an emotional rollercoaster ride as he becomes romantically involved with some of Hollywood’s andHip Hop’s elite A-listers, and into an underground world of down low brothers, sex parties, and love starved celebrities. Struggling to find a place for himself in a homophobic culture Dean’s compelling story is one of hope, love, and in spite of everything, coming to terms with one’s self and being a catalyst for change and empowerment in the game of Hip-Hop.

I am nervous, anxious, and excited all at the same time. My only hope and prayer is that the book is received with the same love I put into writing it. But, more importantly, I have Reclaimed My Power, My Life, and My Voice and I hope the world is ready to receive me.

I encourage each and every one of you to order your copy today. Not only should you order a copy for yourself, order a copy for anyone you know who has or is experiencing a life changing moment. This book will forever change yours and their lives.

Peace and blessings,

Terrance Dean

The Told Me...

It was cool. It was courageous and daring. I was a trailblazer. They were proud of me and supportive.

Many of my friends in Hip Hop from Music to Hollywood called me when they heard about my book, Hiding In Hip Hop. I was afraid they were going to tell me not to write the book. That I shouldn't do this.

Every time the phone rang or I got an e-mail, my heart sank. I dreaded what my friends in the entertainment industry were thinking. I knew they all were going to hate me, despise me, shun me, and I become an outcast in this business. But, it was nothing like that. Everyone was congratulating me. Encouraging me to tell my truth and my story. They were extremely supportive. Many helped me to recall moments we shared together, intimately and socially.

One good friend, Emil Wilbekin, Editor-in-Chief of Giant Magazine gave me the kindest words of advice. He told me, "Terrance, you can only tell your truth. You have lots of friends who support you. I am one of them." His words helped me during the initial phase of writing the book.

Another friend, a celebrated record label publicist, who has helped launch many legendary careers, told me, "Don't worry about what people are going to think. This is your story. Write your book!"

Lastly, my aunt DeLisa Dean-Betts, who has recently passed on from this life. She told me, "Didn't you write Reclaim Your Power? You have to do what you have written about."

There have been many more friends who encouraged me along the way. The fears I initally had were subsided and I gained the strength to become fearless and daring. So, thank you to my friends in Hollywood and New York. Thank you to my many friends in the music industry.

This is not only my story, but many of yours. Thanks for having my back!

Terrance Dean